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Warning Signs

Posted on September 19, 2015 - by Joni Norby

I run my fingers across raised lettering printed on the business card as I whisper the case number written on the back. This number will trace me to Ben’s body at the Orange County Medical Examiner’s Office. This card is the only tangible evidence I have that our nightmare is real. Memories of last night come back to me in bits and pieces, but I don’t recall getting the card. The social worker must have left it on the table near our front door. It’s hard to remember anything after hearing, “I’m sorry; your son has died.” But I remember […]

The Way Love Feels Now

Posted on September 18, 2015 - by Elaine Mansfield

Two years after my husband Vic’s death, I drive home to the Finger Lakes of New York after visiting my son in North Carolina. I’m on familiar roads, but get lost three times—once by turning too soon, twice by driving past my exit. Maybe I’m distracted by listening to a CD, but the real issue is I’m on my way home after spending time with loving family. It’s a transition that grabs me by the throat and throws me to the ground. I pull in the driveway in fog and drizzle. It’s late in the day, and the dogs need […]

Siblings: The Forgotten Mourners

Posted on September 18, 2015 - by Zander Sprague

Episode 24 of The Open to Hope show features Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley interviewing Dana Brophy and Zander Sprague. Brophy is the daughter of Alan Pedersen, the Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends. She lost her brother, Sean, and knows all too well how disenfranchised sibling loss can be. Like many siblings, she hid her feelings in order to protect her parents. So much of the time, the focus is on the parents when a child dies, but a sibling takes on a huge responsibility—all while feeling like they’ve lost someone they were “guaranteed” to spend their life with. […]

How Can Schools Help Children Who Have Suffered Loss

Posted on September 18, 2015 - by Linda Goldman

How do you help a child who’s grieving? Therapist and expert Linda Goldman discusses this issue with Dr. Heidi Horsley at the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference. Goldman works with schools around the country, helping them to help their students. The best thing schools can do is realize that this loss is something that will last for a long time—perhaps forever. School systems have to be accountable for the grieving child, much like schools are accountable for students with learning disabilities. Unfortunately, schools often think children will “get over it,” which isn’t the case. Grieving children need […]

Tips for Handling the Holidays – A webinar from The Compassionate Friends and Open to Hope Foundation

Posted on September 17, 2015 - by Alan Pedersen

This exclusive webinar focuses on how to deal with the holidays following a loss. It features Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley along with Alan Pedersen, Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends. “You don’t walk alone on your journey,” says Dr. Gloria Horsley, and she knows this can be a very challenging time of year. The holidays bring back the memories, although people grieve all the time. There are a lot of reminders about what you’ve lost, and it’s full of bittersweet memories. “All we think about is what we’ve lost,” says Pedersen, at least in the early stage of grieving. […]

Dana Brophy: Siblings the Forgotten Mourners

Posted on September 16, 2015 - by Heidi Horsley

Dana Brophy is the daughter of Alan Pedersen, Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends. Her personal experience with sibling loss has unfortunately made Brophy an expert on sibling loss. Her brother, Sean, died when he was 21 in a car accident. He was her only sibling and, even though she wasn’t a young child when he died, she found herself in the unique situation of suddenly having very protective parents. Her family is involved with Angels Across the USA, and Alan is a singer-songwriter who now specializes in grief music and performances. “Sean was a very fun, hilarious guy,” Dana […]

When Dying Alone is OK

Posted on September 15, 2015 - by Nina Impala

In my years as a hospice volunteer, I occasionally witnessed a separation between patients and their families, which has resulted in “dying alone,” without a loved one present. It can be a sad experience to watch. In my career presently, I am involved in hospice 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I experience people dying alone more often than not. Notes will say, patient passed at such and such time, no one at bedside. I get a little sad feeling in my heart when I read that. I think it is important to take a look at this, […]

William Feigelman Ph.D. and Beverly Feigelman LCSW: Drug and Alcohol Deaths

Posted on September 15, 2015 - by William Feigelman

The authors of Devastating Losses, William and Beverly Feigelman join Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley to discuss drug and alcohol related deaths. They lost their son to substance abuse and have committed their lives and careers to helping others prevent such losses or heal from them. The Feigelmans took a narrative and wove it into an immense amount of research. Beverly is a social worker, William is a professor at a private college, and they share their story of how their son took his own life after struggling with substance abuse. Healing losses with service is one of the best […]

Forgiveness as Healing

Posted on September 14, 2015 - by Fred Luskin

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley talk about forgiveness with Dr. Fred Luskin in this episode of the Open to Hope show. Author and victims advocate Radha Stern also joins the discussion to talk about how she personally handles forgiveness—especially when the man who murdered her son has never shown any remorse. Dr. Luskin is with The Forgiveness Project, having lost his daughter in an auto collision and his wife many years ago. He teaches at Stanford, and points out that forgiveness doesn’t have to be a two-way street. You can forgive somebody and never tell them so. Reconciliation is different, […]

What Brings Me Inner Peace

Posted on September 14, 2015 - by Bernie Siegel

To get right to the point, the thing which helps provide me with inner peace is my mortality. If I am only here for a limited amount of time, then why spend any of it being miserable? I know how difficult and painful life can be, but I am still in charge and control of only one thing; my thoughts. So whether I have been abused, robbed, thrown into a concentration camp or prison, I still choose what I think and, therefore, how I feel every day. Of course, when you find peace and are capable of understanding, forgiving and […]