Open to Hope Articles

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Grieving the Loss of a Narcissist or Sociopath

Posted on August 19, 2024 - by Mary Joye

Grieving the Loss of a Narcissist As if grieving a loved one isn’t enough, it can become exponentially more complex when we lose someone in our lives that was narcissistic or sociopathic. In so many cultures we are vehemently taught not to speak ill of the dead. It is a lovely and loving custom, but what if the deceased spoke ill of you or was abusive to you in any way. Grieving the loss of a narcissist takes skill. This is a particularly difficult dynamic if the loss was a parent. You feel forced to go through the stages of […]

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How Does Twin Honor the Sister Who Died?

Posted on August 19, 2024 - by Linda Pountney

How Does Twin Honor the Sister Who Died? Gladys writes in: I just lost my twin sister three months ago to something we now know as Long QT syndrome. She was perfectly healthy and woke to check on her crying baby one morning and fell unconscious and never gained consciousness again. Our 30th birthday is this Sunday and I am wanting to do something special. Honestly, I wish that I could skip this birthday altogether. Do you have any ideas of how to honor her memory? Linda Pountney, vice president of Twinless Twins Support Group International, responds: Dear Gladys: Please […]

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New Normal for Mom after Death of Adult Son

Posted on August 17, 2024 - by Laura Klouzek

New Normal for Mom after Death of Adult Son There was no rain, just some dark misty clouds.  There in the sky was a beautiful rainbow.  We were traveling home from the hospital after our son Lucas died, and saw the rainbow come from nowhere.  It stayed with us 10 minutes or so, and I knew deep within me that God had sent that sight for me, to give me some sort of peace or hope for the future. It has been over a year since we beheld that gorgeous sight, and every time I see a rainbow, I am […]

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A Letter to Grieving Mothers

Posted on August 15, 2024 - by Catherine McNulty

A Letter to Grieving Mothers Why did this have to happen?  It is the first question you ask.  It is the question you will ask yourself day after day as you grieve the loss of your child.  Welcome to the club.  It is a club that none of us join freely but once you enter, you are in and cannot escape. You are a mother without a child.  You grieve a hurt that knows no boundaries and tears at your heart.  At times you feel it is almost impossible to breathe.  I share your grief with you. This time of […]

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Where Am I in my Grief Journey?

Posted on August 12, 2024 - by Judy Lipson

Where am I in my Grief Journey It’s hard to believe my sister Jane is gone 43 years, and in August, my sister Margie will have been gone for 34 years. In November, Jane would be sixty-five and Margie seventy. I am about to enter my challenging months, although some years harder than others, no rhyme or reason. After thirty years of suppressing my grief, I dug deep and went into heavy therapy, and honored Margie and Jane with Celebration of Sisters, an annual ice-skating fundraiser in a sport we all shared. The fundraiser is on pause, and I may […]

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Coming Back from the ‘Afterlife’

Posted on August 12, 2024 - by Kim Pierce

PAST THE VEIL In an earlier Open to Hope essay, I wrote about the gripping After-Death experience of a friend I call Chief. The anesthesiologist had a heart attack 60 feet underwater while scuba diving in 2007 and, by all measures, was clinically dead. (That’s why he insisted on calling it an After-Death experience.) Chief wanted to write a book about this but crossed over to stay in 2021 before he could finish. He did get as far as drafting a manuscript, which he shared with me because I also wrote a book about the Afterlife (My Dead True Love). […]

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The Gift of Becoming a Grandmother

Posted on August 12, 2024 - by Judy Lipson

The Gift of Becoming a Grandmother In June, my youngest grandchild, Madelyn, named for my beloved sister Margie, turned one. Our family gathered to celebrated Madelyn’s first birthday. I am grateful to be “Nini” to three grandchildren–Benji, named for my father will be five in July, and Jake is eighteen months, and Madelyn, one. As I sat in the enclosed playpen area with Madelyn, Benji and Jake beaming watching the new innocent lives, broad smiles, the unconditional love. The seesaw of emotions from the devastating heartbreak of losing two sisters, my anchors, my foundation, the darkness, and now the lightness, […]

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After Husband’s Death, my Year of ‘Solitary Firsts’

Posted on July 31, 2024 - by Laurel D. Rund

My Year of ‘Solitary Firsts’ As I write this article, 2-1/2 years after my husband Marty’s death, I am overwhelmed with surprise that so much time has passed. Memories of that first year are wrapped in a surreal haze and when vivid images do surface, the fog lifts and reveals my year of solitary firsts. February 11, 2009, marked the death of my husband, my mate of 42 years. A quote on the back of the Joyce Carol Oates book, A Widow’s Story, says “of the widow’s countless death-duties there is really just one that matters:  on the first anniversary […]

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No ‘Shoulds’ in Grieving a Spouse’s Death

Posted on July 31, 2024 - by Catherine Tidd

No ‘Shoulds’ in Grieving a Spouse’s Death On my commute to work this morning (by which I mean my walk down to my basement office), I started wondering about something that seems to be a common theme with all of us widows:  The ability to overcome what other people think of us. When our spouses die, the surrounding public seems to think it’s their right–no, their duty… to tell us how things should be done.  They watch as we bumble our way into a somewhat normal existence after our lives have been completely turned upside down.  The people we know […]

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The First Anniversary after a Husband Dies

Posted on July 30, 2024 - by Rachel Kodanaz

The First Anniversary after a Husband Dies Just like nothing prepares you for the death of a loved one, there is no preparation for the first anniversary of a death. The anticipation of the date can make you just as emotional as the death itself. For all the positive steps forward you have taken over the year, the anniversary can set you back again. Just know that it is a temporary setback, and the strength you have gained over the year will hold you together. Around the anniversary, the workplace can either be a blessing or a curse. It will […]

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