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No ‘Shoulds’ in Grieving a Spouse’s Death

Posted on July 31, 2024 - by Catherine Tidd

No ‘Shoulds’ in Grieving a Spouse’s Death On my commute to work this morning (by which I mean my walk down to my basement office), I started wondering about something that seems to be a common theme with all of us widows:  The ability to overcome what other people think of us. When our spouses die, the surrounding public seems to think it’s their right–no, their duty… to tell us how things should be done.  They watch as we bumble our way into a somewhat normal existence after our lives have been completely turned upside down.  The people we know […]

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The First Anniversary after a Husband Dies

Posted on July 30, 2024 - by Rachel Kodanaz

The First Anniversary after a Husband Dies Just like nothing prepares you for the death of a loved one, there is no preparation for the first anniversary of a death. The anticipation of the date can make you just as emotional as the death itself. For all the positive steps forward you have taken over the year, the anniversary can set you back again. Just know that it is a temporary setback, and the strength you have gained over the year will hold you together. Around the anniversary, the workplace can either be a blessing or a curse. It will […]

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What to Do When the Casseroles Stop Coming: First Anniversary of the Death

Posted on July 30, 2024 - by Mary Joye

First Anniversary of the Death About three weeks after a funeral, most people stop checking on you. The offerings become a smattering of well wishes and hopes you’re doing “better”. However, you might not be “better”. The anniversary of a loved one’s passing, particularly the first, sometimes is the toughest. Many books say that one year is “long enough” to grieve. One year may be enough for some, but for others, especially people with small or dysfunctional families, it may not be. If your loved one died of a violent act, the grief may last a lifetime. And no matter the […]

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Loving a New Pet after the Last Pet Has Died

Posted on July 29, 2024 - by Veronica Crawford

Loving a Pet From as early on as I can remember, I have always connected with animals. My first pet was an orphaned lamb, Mary. I was obsessed with horses and fascinated with butterflies, frogs and caterpillars – any creatures that found their way into my world. Loving animals inevitably means at some point you have to say goodbye. Now, when I see people and the beautiful bond they have with their pets, my first thought is of the grief that lies ahead. The Healing Process Ever since my beautiful dogs Max and Blaze passed on, I have not been […]

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The Difference Between Functioning and Grieving

Posted on July 22, 2024 - by Brooke Carlock

Grieving over Libby A few months after Libby died, I sat for an interview with a local newspaper to talk about her death, her impact on the people she knew, and the charity her father and I created in her honor. If you’ll allow a mom to gush about her kid for a moment, Libby was no ordinary ten-year-old. Not only was she beautiful, with a smile that radiated her joyful personality, but she was intelligent, talented, and most of all, kind. She was the once-in-a-lifetime student that teachers raved about, who befriended the other children sitting alone at lunch […]

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Tell Your Grief Story

Posted on July 22, 2024 - by Brooke Carlock

Tell Your Grief Story Telling your grief story is an insanely powerful way to process your emotions. At first, friends and family want to hear the story, and we tell it in a haze, barely registering what we’re saying. Then, we might find ourselves telling the same story for the tenth time. But somehow something clicks and sinks in, and we break down into a sobbing hysterical mess. Eventually, you will most likely feel like you’re being a pain in the ass telling the same people the same story over and over again. At that point, grief groups can be […]

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The Tension between Recent Loss and Future Vision

Posted on July 17, 2024 - by Mark Bodnarczuk

May 16, 2024, would have been my son Thomas’s twenty-second birthday. But instead of candles on a chocolate cake that my wife Elin has baked – Thomas’s favorite – we have candles like the one pictured above scattered throughout our home. I have one on the nightstand next to my bed. I light it each night before I surrender to the place from which God provides leadership for my life (Psalm 23). I’ve switched roles with Thomas. Normally, children are the legacy of their parents. But I feel a sense of duty to carry my son’s legacy forward so that […]

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Moving Through Spontaneous Moments of Grief

Posted on July 1, 2024 - by Bradie Hansen

Spontaneous Moments of Grief Soon after my father died, I was in a restaurant with a good friend and our daughters. We were on a trip that we had planned months before, and I hadn’t wanted to cancel it because it meant a lot to me to do something special over a school break with my child, especially after I’d been gone for so long to be with my dad before he died, and then with my family as we navigated the time afterwards. I was tender, but I think still in a halo of disbelief. I could smile and […]

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Dating During Widowhood: Am I Being Disloyal?

Posted on June 24, 2024 - by Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Frank Powers

Dating During Widowhood We often hear widows and widowers say, “I had such a wonderful partner that I could never be with another person.” Friends and family members who are also missing this departed partner often see this outlook as a badge of honor and courage, and so they encourage it. Obviously, though, these attitudes focus on the past, and can keep us stuck there. And the people who applaud singlehood don’t have to grapple with loneliness. What do you want your future to look like? If indeed you had a great partner, it means that you know how to […]

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How Long Should Grief Last?

Posted on June 17, 2024 - by Emily Threatt

How Long Should Grief Last? I was shocked one day when a friend of mine told me his employer spoke harshly to him after he returned from the three-day bereavement leave his company had given him when his father died after a long battle with cancer. He was understandably sad and a little distracted when his employer said: “Your bereavement leave is done. Now get over it and get back to work.” People, especially those who have not experienced the death of a loved one, can have unrealistic expectations based on their lack of experience or empathy. In these cases, […]

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