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Is it Still OK to Cry?

Posted on May 20, 2015 - by Beth Marshall

It was Mother’s Day weekend, and life was especially good. With our kids scattered across the country, the idea of traveling to Colorado to spend a couple days with our daughter, Amy, seemed like the perfect way to celebrate. I stopped in an airport restaurant for breakfast and crossed paths with one of the friendliest waiters I’ve ever met. Lamar obviously loves people and loves his work. As he delivered my coffee and spinach omelet, we started to talk about Mother’s Day. Lamar’s face lit up as he described his amazing mom. He referred to himself unashamedly as a “mama’s […]

Trust Heals: Journeying With Faith, Hope and Patience

Posted on May 18, 2015 - by Charles W. Sidoti

“With Open Hands” – Free me, Lord, from the inner bondage and endless cycle of what I think needs to happen before I can be happy. Free me, Lord, from my idea of the solution. Help me to wait with open ended, joyful expectation; and help me to experience your peace. Amen (Charles W. Sidoti). Ever wish you were more able to go with the flow? Have you ever wished you could go through the day without something upsetting your inner peace? It can be very helpful in this regard to think about how well you process the constant change that life provides. […]

Historic Guidelines Focus on Helping the Suicide Bereaved

Posted on May 12, 2015 - by Franklin Cook

After 15 years of advocacy and work in peer support and training as a survivor of suicide loss, I am pleased to announce that a dozen of my colleagues and I on a blue-ribbon task force* have completed a historic document, Responding to Grief, Trauma, and Distress After a Suicide: U.S. National Guidelines. The Guidelines were announced earlier this month at the Association for Death Education and Counseling conference in San Antonio and at the American Association of Suicidology conference in Atlanta. I will be sharing on Open to Hope the content of an upcoming series of posts from the Grief […]

Unleash the Silence: Compassion for Surviving Siblings

Posted on May 11, 2015 - by Judy Lipson

Losing my beloved sisters Jane and Margie impacted my life in ways I did not comprehend until years later. Their passing shaped the person I am today. With hard work, support, guidance, and the cheering of many, I re-discovered Judy after 30 years. The topic I choose to unleash, although extremely sensitive, needs to be heard. When a family experiences the death of a child/sibling, the entire family suffers a tremendous absence. Losing a sibling instills an immeasurable void. Very often, surviving siblings face an arduous burden of taking care of our parents and are not allowed the liberty of […]

Mother’s Day Haikus

Posted on May 9, 2015 - by Neil Chethik

Editor’s note: We recently asked our contributing writers to create Haikus related to Mother’s Day. Here are some of the poems. Hard being a mother When your child is far away Hug them in your heart — Neal Raisman An angel you are A bright light among the stars And for you, I weep — Marilyn Burns Forever your mom, Your life, my gift every day. Our bond will not break. — Maria Malin Temporarily Here to learn about loving All impermanence — Marguerite O’Connor Wind carries her son’s voice through wind chimes tinkling in the breeze He’s here, she […]

Renaming the Stages of Grief

Posted on April 28, 2015 - by Maria Kubitz

Chances are, you’ve heard of the stages of grief Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced in her 1969 book, “On Death and Dying.” The stages are: 1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance It is a very nice idea that you can break grief down into defined segments that have a clear beginning and end. This way, you would know when you’re done with one stage and when to move onto the next in progression until you’ve accepted the death and come to peace with it. It would be nice…but reality isn’t so simple most of the time. A […]

What is Mother’s Day after Mother is Gone?

Posted on April 26, 2015 - by Lauren Muscarella

What is Mother’s Day? A day to honor mothers. To me, it’s also the day that American University hosts its graduation. May 13, 2007, I sullenly watched David Gregory give a very witty speech about something I’m fairly certain was inspirational. My mother died the year before and I wasn’t in the mood for Mother’s Day brunch, or graduating with most of my family absent. I was frantically trying to control everything and attain some semblance of normalcy. Of course, that made everything go wrong. My hair was ruined. The brunch I made was ruined. The restaurant I picked for […]

Healing through Expressive Arts: A Conversation with Patricia Rojas-Zambrano

Posted on April 24, 2015 - by Katherine Relf-Canas

Exploring the field of art therapy through a series of interviews with practitioners in the Bay Area and beyond has become a new focus for me. Last month I met with Patricia Rojas-Zambrano after learning about her art journaling workshops through a chance meeting with a regular attendee. I caught her in the middle of an art journaling exchange project between a group of immigrants and refugees from several Latin American countries, and a group of young Maya Kakchiquel women living in the Guatemalan Highlands. The field of Creative Arts Therapy makes a distinction between expressive arts therapy and traditional […]

A Post-Loss Walk through Memory Lane

Posted on April 22, 2015 - by Randah Hamadeh

As I passed their house gate, the heaviness in my heart amplified. I felt as if my heart was about to explode out of my body. I entered the house with my husband and congratulated the bride and groom and their parents and acted as normal as I could. The bride was my deceased daughter’s first friend that she had. They were friends before they were two years old. I greeted everyone, and I felt that some people who knew me looked at me with admiration for being strong enough to come, while others did not connect the dots. I […]

Kaleidoscope: Rearranging the Pieces After Loss

Posted on April 17, 2015 - by Michelle Jarvie

It’s been 80 months since I became a widow, 21 months since I said vows for the second time, and two months since my first child was born. Sometimes I need to pinch myself. As I tenderly rock my little girl in my arms, I can’t help but remember the reason I got this rocking chair six years ago: as a coping mechanism for post-traumatic stress disorder. I was supposed to rock 20 minutes a day, or whenever I felt myself triggered and unable to block out the horrifying images of James’ death: rear-ended and dragged off his motorcycle. The […]