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Quiet and Patience are Stepping Stones to Healing

Posted on October 1, 2014 - by Gloria Lintermans

The earliest feelings of mourning include the initial shock (this can’t be happening), the denial of the reality, and feeling overwhelmed and numb. It is not uncommon to feel some loss of self-esteem and extreme vulnerable. Symptoms usually include a variety of internal complaints, a great deal of crying, insomnia, waking from sleep or not being able to fall asleep, feeling anxious, loss of appetite, possible sweaty hands and heart palpitations. You may also experience irritability, lack of patience, forgetfulness, distractibility and loss of concentration. Feelings of sadness and loneliness accompany feeling bewildered. Disassociation of feeling is common. “I feel […]

Music and Grief

Posted on September 30, 2014 - by Barbara Francis

I was afraid. If death could just sweep in and take Duane and Jody, then none of us is safe. Her death robbed me of an innocence of sorts…the belief that we all will live full lives surrounded by the people we love. But that all changed on January 26, 2003, and, now, I am a realist. I’ve talked with thousands of people who have been in crisis of one form or another. I’ve walked through the grief process with friends who have lost babies, born and unborn, husbands, children and parents. So it’s not like I live in a […]

My Brother, My Best Friend

Posted on September 30, 2014 - by Gloria Horsley

Alison Smith, author of Name All the Animals: A Memoir, opens up about her brother and best friend today with Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley. Enjoy the full interview: G: Hello. I’m Dr. Gloria Horsley with my co-host H: Dr. Heidi Horsley. G: Each week we welcome you to Healing the Grieving Heart, a show of hope and conversation with those who have suffered the loss of a loved one and for health care professionals who work in this difficult field. As always the message is others have been there before you and you can make it. You do […]

Happy Birthday to a Husband Gone

Posted on September 30, 2014 - by Marta Dorton

I wonder how your Retire-at-55 plan would be going by now? Would we be Florida-bound? Or woefully far from the dream? That seems to be how life goes. We smugly think our plans are well-made, well-plotted, that hard work and diligence paid. Or we think God had other plans or we missed the mark, failure at our backs. Our dreams become what we have at hand. A widow’s work is never done. I’m sitting outside on my London-green park bench, a Mother’s Day gift from long ago, another life, and I am wishing, crying, that I could personally wish you […]

Preparing for Winter Blues, Anniversary Reactions, and the Unwelcome Return of Grief

Posted on September 29, 2014 - by Harriet Hodgson

Fall has come to Minnesota. The trees are turning gold and orange and red. White-winged Juncos, birds in the sparrow family and harbingers of winter, have returned to the backyard feeders. Nights are colder, and there is frost on the lawn in the mornings. Much as I love fall, I’m always a bit uneasy because I know winter is coming. Living in this changeable climate requires preparation and courage. Winters can be beautiful. We usually have several ice storms that glaze the trees with ice and turn the town into a fairy land. Fierce wind chills, however, and temperatures of […]

Lightness within Darker Days: Creating Routines

Posted on September 28, 2014 - by Susan Reynolds

It’s that time of year again when weather changes, light changes, and layers come out to keep us warm. It’s that time of year again when traditions and aromas of childhood and warmth fill the stores and environments we occupy. Maybe this time, the past traditions and changes don’t fit our outlook of life woven with loss or grief. Our pockets may be laden with heavy loss. Another change? What can we do for ourselves as autumn shifts from the sunny days of summer to the shadowing and hibernating days of fall and winter? In loss, one often has “ […]

Sadness Creeps Back, Sometimes Out of the Blue

Posted on September 27, 2014 - by Paula Ezop

I lost my husband of 35 years nine years ago, and the overwhelming grief that I felt is somewhat of a distant memory. “Yes, somewhat of a distant memory, until something triggers that gut-wrenching heartache,” I mutter out loud as I write. It is strange how it manages to creep back into our lives, out of the blue, shattering our day, and reminding us that we are here without the love of our lives. The triggers can be something as simple as seeing a couple walking together holding hands, or watching a football game and remembering those autumn afternoons when […]

The Ruby Connection

Posted on September 26, 2014 - by Alicia King

My mother died 2 months after she turned 48. Her boyfriend was suspected in her death, but he was never charged. This left me with no answers, no closure, and no mother. I think this emotional “lostness” created a need for connections to her that I may not have experienced otherwise, at least not at the same intensity. I clung to everything – her clothes, her books, and anything with her handwriting on it. That same circling script that signed my elementary school permission slips became a touchstone for me as an adult, reminding me of days spent in her […]

Already Among the Dead

Posted on September 25, 2014 - by Mark Liebenow

I walk among the dead. This began when my wife died in April 2001. So when the planes slam into the World Trade Center, my heart doesn’t move. The towers collapse, sending clouds of dust billowing into the sky, people stumble into the streets stunned, and I feel nothing. Why should I cry? Why should I grieve faces and names I don’t know? My heart’s silence tells me that I already wander among the dead. They would not have cared about Evelyn’s death if they had known. There are too many deaths in the world to care about each one. […]

Songwriter Helps Mother Let Son Go

Posted on September 25, 2014 - by Anna Huckabee Tull

Of all the songs I have ever been invited to compose, to assist with healing around a loss, the story of little 4-year-old Alex is the one that most deeply touched my heart. One day I got a call from Aimee, who had spent almost all of her family’s income on medical bills for her very ill little son Alex. When she called, asking me to compose a song for his memorial service (he had been given about a month to live), I somehow could feel in my bones that a month was more than we really had. No time, […]