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My Sister Died and I Waited 16 Years to Deal With It

Posted on July 7, 2014 - by Molly Gandour

I never expected to make a documentary film about my family. I didn’t think of myself as someone who had a story to tell. My sister had died when I was ten years old and by that time her illness seemed pretty normal to me. Aimee was diagnosed with leukemia when I was two years old, so I grew up always knowing my older sister was sick. One of my earliest memories is playing with the toys in the hospital waiting room while she was in the examination room getting a spinal tap. When she died in 1994, I became […]

Victory Over the Pole: Learning to Let Go

Posted on July 7, 2014 - by Nan Zastrow

An intimidating 30-foot pole occupied a notable spot on the challenge-learning course. The facilitator explained that we were to climb the pole. The pole was manufactured with heavy metal staples that created a “ladder”-effect. Once we reached the top of the pole, we were supposed to mount the disk that was attached at the top, stand, turn to face the group—and, then, jump! Why would I climb a pole if I didn’t have to? The truth was—I didn’t want to. But this pole stood in my way—representing a barrier between God and me, between the world and me; and perhaps, […]

July 4 in Minnesota Lifts Spirits

Posted on July 4, 2014 - by Diane Dettmann

With the grueling winter behind us, I, like most Minnesotans, cherish these hot days of summer. Families gather for picnics, hang out at their lake cabins, and squeeze in every bit of outside time they can. Minnesota may be known as the “The Land of 10,000 Lakes,” but on America’s Independence Day, it becomes “The Land of Endless Parades.” All over the state, people gather in their communities to celebrate the Fourth of July. Our small town of Afton, Minnesota, is no exception. Afton, just fifteen miles east of downtown St. Paul, is a step back in time. Unlike our […]

In Grief and in Joy, Tell Your Story

Posted on July 3, 2014 - by Nan Zastrow

” People are hungry for stories. It’s part of our very being. Storytelling is a form of history, of immortality too. It goes from one generation to another.” —Studs Terkel Recently, I attended the funeral of my uncle, though I found myself making excuses for dismissing my obligation to go. When I read his obituary in the newspaper, I didn’t plan to go to the funeral because I hadn’t seen my cousins in about thirty years (they all lived out of town and so did my uncle.) I wouldn’t recognize them, nor would they recognize me! In the end, I decided […]

Five Years After Son’s Death, Dad Wonders if ‘the Blue Skies are Coming’

Posted on July 2, 2014 - by John French

As the weather finally begins to catch up with the seasons, I find myself looking back. Beyond the still blue waters and flowered meadows. Back to the time when the only contrast to the vast expanses of ice were the dirt streaked mountains of accumulated snow. When I think about this year’s record snowfall and sub zero temperatures I can not help but see the similarities between the brutality of winter and the unrelenting nature of grief. The bitterness and isolation, the amassing woe and the agony of every step. It will be five years in August since my […]

Malaysian Airlines Aftermath: A Grandmother’s Perspective

Posted on July 2, 2014 - by Neil Chethik

As soon as I heard a Malaysian Airlines flight 370 had been shot down, I thought of the survivors. I have some understanding of traumatic death because our daughter, the mother of our twin grandchildren, suddenly died in a car crash. The cause of death was “blunt force trauma,” three words I didn’t want to read or say. Two days later, my father-in-law died. Eight weeks after that, my brother and only sibling died. In the fall, our grandchildren’s father suddenly died in another car crash. The scenario was unbelievable. Grief is hard enough to process, without adding trauma to […]

Lord, Help Me Let You Be the Shepherd of My Life

Posted on July 1, 2014 - by Charles W. Sidoti

This article was wrtten by Charles W. Sidoti and Rabbi Akiva Feinstein. It is an excerpt from Living at God’s Speed, Healing in God’s Time. The Psalms are unique among the books of the Bible, revealing a mysterious healing quality in their ability to connect with us at a personal and profound level. It is not uncommon when reading the Psalms to find that the words give expression to our most human emotions at the very core of our being – emotions that range from the deepest, darkest despair to the most exultant, liberating joy. The ability of the Psalms […]

Declaring Independence From Grief

Posted on July 1, 2014 - by Claire Perkins

Here in the U.S. we celebrate the Fourth of July as Independence Day. It is the day that Congress approved a Declaration of Independence from British rule. It marks the birth of our nation as a free, self-governing entity. The Declaration asserts that everyone has the right to “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” and claims that when any form of governance “becomes obstructive to these ends,” it is our right “to alter or to abolish it.” When grief has reigned as king in our lives for too long, it may be that we, too, need to declare our […]

Breaking the Rules of Grief

Posted on June 30, 2014 - by Shannon Harris

An excerpt from the Introduction of Breaking the Rules of Grief, A Bereaved Mother’s Journey. By Shannon Harris I should begin by warning you that there will be no substantial evidence supporting the ideas in this book. These are all my conflicted thoughts in black and white, perfectly spaced in Times New Roman size 12. Should my ideas mean something more than that to someone, great. If not, that’s okay too. After reading countless books and articles on grief and bereavement for parents who have lost a child, I think I’ve had enough information. Not that I am an expert by […]

Joyful Aging

Posted on June 26, 2014 - by Stan Goldberg

When I see commercials on how to recreate the body I had at 20-years-of-age by applying a magical cream that isn’t sold in any regulated stores (but is free to me for the next ninety minutes if I agree to receive 324 months of the stuff), sit back in my rocking chair with wrinkles and flab, delighted I learned to adapt to a normal phase of living. We are born, develop, reflect, age, and die. I don’t think anyone has found a way to extend the process, no matter how much we wish for a different outcome, the products we […]