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How to Help Someone In Pain

Posted on May 10, 2014 - by Megan Devine

A lot of people truly, deeply want to be of help to those they love as they are grieving. They just don’t know what to do. And there are a lot of people in pain wishing they could tell you exactly what they need in their grief. They just don’t have the energy or the resources to help you help them. This means that a lot of us flounder around, looking for something to say, hoping we can find the words that make this unbearable pain, well – more bearable. Witnessing grief is hard. Watching someone in pain is horrible. Knowing […]

Did I Say that I’d Never Marry Again?

Posted on May 10, 2014 - by Cindy Adams

So it was just over a year that I became a widow. I was doing ok. I had my good days and my not so good days. But over all, life was tolerable. I was getting used to being a single mom and accepting the fact that this was my new and permanent life. “Are you dating anyone?” a family member innocently asked me. I CAN’T BELIEVE HE ASKED ME THAT! “No, and I don’t plan to,” I said. “Nobody will ever take Nelson’s place, and I’ll never marry again.” He looked at me doubtfully. I didn’t understand why people would ask me […]

Grief After Suicide is Particularly Complicated

Posted on May 7, 2014 - by Beth Marshall

One person dies by suicide every 13.7 minutes in the United States, according to the American Suicide Prevention Foundation. You never think your family will become part of such a heartbreaking statistic. From the outside, my uncle’s life seemed perfect — lots of friends, a terrific job and a family who adored him. My mom’s fun-loving, talented brother had everything to live for. How could he have taken his own life? Mental illness was not a subject anyone discussed back then. People were expected to be OK or at least pretend they were. As family members tried to make sense […]

Living with Fear, Learning to Risk

Posted on May 4, 2014 - by Jill Kraft Thompson

Twelve years ago, when our family was living in Italy due to my husband’s work, I lost the five most important people in my life. While my mother, sister, and niece were visiting from the States, my husband and I, along with our two young boys, ages four and six, took them on a week-long sightseeing tour around that beautiful country. As we were driving from Venice to Florence, just outside of Bologna a semi-truck lost control and slammed into our minivan, giving my husband Bart, who was driving, only a second to react. My sister and I were the […]

Letter to God

Posted on May 2, 2014 - by Bernie Siegel

Dear God, First I want to thank You for answering my previous letters. When as a doctor I couldn’t understand why You made a world filled with disease, war, cruelty and all kinds of difficulties, You pointed out to me that a perfect world is not creation. That there would be no need for doctors or anyone else and we would all become totally bored by life and find it meaningless. I remember You saying it would be far worse than a spending a lifetime in Hawaii. But what really made the point for me was your letting me visit […]

Walking with Grief, Living with Purpose

Posted on May 1, 2014 - by Julie Nierenberg

Yesterday while walking in my neighborhood, I realized how alive and present my father’s spirit is in my life. He was an avid gardener and life-long admirer of nature, and I feel his presence reflected in the beauty and wonder of the outdoors, the sounds and sights of Spring. He was a daily walker and I feel extra close to him when I am walking. With each step I recall memories of the times we shared and “converse” with him on a heart level about new topics and issues that arise in my life. In life, I talked with him […]

Recovering from a Loss is Up to You

Posted on April 30, 2014 - by Harriet Hodgson

My mother had a saying and used it often: The good fairy isn’t coming. The saying applied to many aspects of life. She would say it before she began a task, such as cleaning the house, or going to the grocery store. When my mother said the good fairy wasn’t coming she was implying – and showing – that I was responsible for myself. I learned this lesson in childhood and have lived it many times. In 2007, after my daughter, father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law all died, my mother’s saying came to mind. Coping with grief was up to […]

Unending Love: Death Does Not End the Relationship

Posted on April 29, 2014 - by Donna Miesbach

One of the things that makes it so difficult to adjust after losing a loved one is the absence of their physical presence, and while there is no denying that we cannot see them anymore, the love is still there, and that love is a link that cannot be broken. One could even say it is our eternal connection to each other. That love is what joins us in spirit, whether we are in the body or not. Some of my children live 1500 miles from here, and yet we are very close. Our love for each other connects us […]

How Tokens and Linking Objects May Help the Bereaved

Posted on April 24, 2014 - by Harriet Hodgson

“I’ve come to see the flag,” she declared. The white-haired woman had come from skilled nursing section of the nursing home to the rehabilitation unit. She parked her walker, sat down, and peered at the flag outside the window. “Look at that!” she exclaimed. “The flag is straight out. That’s beautiful.” I was sitting at a table with my husband, who was in rehabilitation for wound care and physical therapy on his paralyzed legs. After a few silent moments, the woman turned to me and smiled. “My husband was in the navy for years,” she explained, “and seeing the flag […]

Moving to a New Home Sparks Grief

Posted on April 21, 2014 - by Harriet Hodgson

My husband’s aorta split and during emergency surgery he had a spinal stroke. Now his legs are paralyzed and he can’t return to our current home, which has lots of stairs. So our home is for sale and I’m building a wheelchair friendly town home for us. It’s supposed to be finished in a month, and I’ll move there before my husband. I want to have everything ready for him: a hospital bed, bedside table, and shower wheelchair. Thinking about all I have to do wakes me up at four in the morning. Once I’m awake, I rarely go back […]