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Grief Marathon

Posted on August 22, 2013 - by Diane Dettmann

Two weeks after her husband’s death on June 30, 2000, trying to get the grief behind her, Diane Dettmer accepted a new position as a literacy staff developer. Traveling with colleagues to training sessions in various parts of the country added more stress and did little to speed up the grief process. Diane and her husband, John, enjoyed twenty-eight years of marriage; the sudden loss of her loving husband devastated her. In the following excerpt from Diane Dettmann’s memoir, Twenty-Eight Snow Angels: A Widow’s Story of Love, Loss and Renewal, Diane shares insights into the grief she experienced a year […]

Panic Attack After the Death of a Spouse

Posted on August 21, 2013 - by Cindy Adams

I never quite understood what people meant when they said they had a panic attack. I remember thinking, “Oh, it’s all made up in your head. You can control it.” I imagined an anxiousness and fear, but had no idea how debilitating it could be until I became a widow and it happened to me! It actually happened to me on more than one occasion. You can read about another time, in my book, A Widow’s Pursuit. I think it’s a natural part of the grief process. Many of our emotions are out of our control. It’s not something we […]

Getting Through What You’re Going Through: Pastor Rick Warren Models

Posted on August 17, 2013 - by Beth Marshall

Life at Saddleback Church rarely slows down for Pastor Rick Warren and his wife Kay. After four glorious days of Easter services, a typically busy week of ministry began. Christianity Today was scheduled to run an article highlighting Warren’s upcoming book, The Peace Plan. His goal is to reach people all over the world with translations in multiple languages. Five days after Easter, the Warrens’ world changed forever. After several unsuccessful attempts to contact one of their sons, Rick and Kay had a strange sense something wasn’t right. Their twenty-seven year old son, Matthew, had battled depression for most of […]

Just Let Me Be Sad: A Response to the Stigma of Grief

Posted on August 15, 2013 - by Maria Kubitz

We live in a world where – if you have the means – pain and suffering are to be avoided at all costs. We are always looking for the next “quick fix” to alleviate discomfort with the least amount of effort required. In many cases, this means treating the symptoms while ignoring the root cause of the problem. In the United States, we live in a society so uncomfortable with emotional pain that when someone dies, society expects the outward mourning period to end once the funeral is over. When the bereaved do not cooperate with these prescribed time tables, […]

The Basics of Sibling-Loss

Posted on August 13, 2013 - by Zander Sprague

I would like to take some time to focus on parents who have lost a child and have other living children. I plan to talk about the sibling survivor experience to give you an idea of what they are going through. I would like to start by talking about their grief. While I was attending The Compassionate Friend’s National Conference and the Bereaved Parents of the USA gathering this past July, the question I heard most was, “Are my children grieving, because I do not see it?” While I can’t speak for all siblings, what I can say in general […]

Re-Claiming Joy After Loss

Posted on August 13, 2013 - by Donna Miesbach

When my husband and I first found each other, we experienced a joy unlike any we had ever known before. Many was the time we just stood in awe looking at each other, wondering how the miracle had ever happened. What we didn’t know then, and what took me many years to learn after he had passed on, was that joy is our true nature. If that is so, then how do we re-claim what is inherently within us? Seeking joy when in the throes of grief would be like reaching for the moon. At least it was for me. […]

How to Avoid Depression During Grief

Posted on August 10, 2013 - by Doris Jeanette

I didn’t care if I went swimming or not, even though swimming is my favorite activity. I didn’t care what I ate, even though looking forward to delicious food and yummy tastes used to be a daily pleasure. It seemed like nothing mattered anymore. It is easy to get stuck in depression during the grieving process. Instead of moving forward toward the light at the end of the tunnel, you could drop down into depression and not even know you are depressed. If you don’t have a bereavement support group or grief counselor giving you feedback about your mental health […]

Sister Unloads Grief Years After Brother’s Suicide

Posted on August 7, 2013 - by Tarah Hipple

I was a sweet, blue-eyed seven-year-old girl watching The Parent Trap while my big brother was babysitting. He got me a cup of water after asking if there was anything I needed. Little did I know my answer should have been, “I need my big brother.” Only minutes later I heard a heart-stopping, deafening boom. I sat there, frozen. What was that? My blonde hair on the back of my neck was standing up, and my ears were ringing. The terrifying noise was the gun my brother used to take his own life. Thirteen years later, that emotionally scarred little […]

How to Support Family and Friends Facing Child Loss

Posted on August 2, 2013 - by Avril Nagel

Child death is one of those awful things that no one likes to think or talk about, but the sad truth is that many parents face it every day. When a child dies, there is often a well of support from family, friends and the broader community in light of the tragedy. People band together to assist the bereaved family, but beyond delivered meals and help around the house, family and friends are often unsure of how to continue supporting the bereaved parents and surviving children. As a bereaved parent myself, I observed as family members and friends struggled to […]

Embracing a Paradox: Can Life End?

Posted on August 1, 2013 - by Donna Miesbach

It seems to me that death is a paradox, for while it appears that life has ended, nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, the body dies, but our spirit does not. In fact, our spirit cannot die, because the spirit is eternal. Since life cannot end, neither do our relationships. In fact, the scope of those relationships can be much greater now that they reach beyond the seen to the unseen. There were so many “firsts” after my husband died, but the one thing that was constant was the sense of his loving presence. It just felt as […]