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Anniversary Reactions and a Strange Week

Posted on March 2, 2013 - by Harriet Hodgson

February 23rd was the sixth anniversary of my daughter’s death. A week before this day came, my mind was filled with memories of my daughter. I remembered the sugar-free apple pies she baked for us. I remembered how much fun she had with her twins. I remembered her sitting on our living room floor, laughing uproariously, and slapping her knee. Some unhappy memories also came to mind and I accepted them. “I’m going to be okay,” I told myself. But things weren’t okay and I kept making mistakes, silly mistakes I wouldn’t ordinarily make. For example, I sent my graphic […]

Sorting Out Life: Remembering a Mother by Her Scent

Posted on February 28, 2013 - by Marta Dorton

I sat on the dusty wide-planked floor of my attic and sorted through stored memories. I struggled with the final decisions of how much attraction, or need, that I truly held for each item. Dozens, sometimes hundreds, of decisions waited in every box. Piles expanded for things to keep and for things that needed to go. A stack to sell, another for Goodwill or giveaway to family and friends. As I added to the get-rid-of section, I noticed Mom’s walker folded and laying on the pink insulation. She passed away five years ago. I walked across the wooden floorboards, stooped […]

Spirit Lifters for Tough Times

Posted on February 28, 2013 - by Donna Miesbach

One of the most important things you can do when you are experiencing grief is to take care of yourself. Nurturing yourself allows your healing to truly begin. Here are some things you can do to make life a little easier when the going gets rough. 1. Make sure you get plenty of rest. Eat nourishing food, not only so you can have the stamina you need, but so your body can have the energy it needs to process the stress you are experiencing. Get some exercise, even if that only means going for a walk. Exercise gets those spirit-lifting […]

Accepting Help from Others

Posted on February 25, 2013 - by Anne Hamilton

Since September, 2012, I have been writing a series of articles entitled, “A Forever Decision” based on my experience of losing my beloved dog Camilla. In October, I found that my Uncle Steve has terminal cancer. Uncle Steve is my favorite uncle and is one of the most important people in my life. I continued writing about coping with the grief of his impending loss, as well as day to day challenges involved in caring for him. The articles grew into a larger work of art. I hope that my writing will help others who visit the Open to Hope […]

A Journey of Self- Discovery After Loss: Why We Are All Analog Kids

Posted on February 24, 2013 - by David Roberts

Wallowing Through The Muck The boy lies in the grass with one blade Stuck between his teeth A vague sensation quickens In his young and restless heart And a bright and nameless vision Has him longing to depart Lyrics by Neil Peart -From the song, The Analog Kid by Rush The pain of early grief after the death of our children makes children of us all. We have to learn how to walk again in a world that has now become changed due to catastrophic loss; a loss that defies the laws of the universe. The values […]

Dressing a Sister for the Afterlife

Posted on February 20, 2013 - by Dorothy Foltz-Gray

Below is an excerpt from With and Without Her: A Memoir of Being and Losing a Twin. My identical twin sister, a psychologist, has died in Lowell, Massachusetts, from a head wound inflicted by a former patient. We have brought her home to Philadelphia, where my mother and I go to the funeral home to help prepare her body. We go to the funeral home, a Victorian house converted for the dead. My mother and I meet with the cosmetologist who will prepare Deane for a family viewing. He works in something like the back of a flower shop, cool […]

The Inevitable Question: How Many Children Do You Have?

Posted on February 20, 2013 - by Sandy Fox

On a recent cruise, I sat with five other ladies for dinner. It was not until the last night when the inevitable question came up: “How many children do you have, Sandy?” one lady asked. That has to be the most dreaded question a bereaved parent must answer. Do you count your deceased child in your total? Do you pretend they never existed? What is the best way to handle this sensitive topic? I find the best way is to just say, “I have one child who was killed in a car accident.” The room becomes quiet and uncomfortable usually, […]

The Eulogy as Love Letter

Posted on February 20, 2013 - by Janet Gallin

When we think of the kindest things we can do for a parent whose time on earth is coming to an end, I wonder how many of people think of a love letter that will serve as the eulogy. It is not easy to watch a parent weaken, and in the world of what to do to bring joy and peace of mind, we often think of physical comfort and pleasure. For me, a love letter is the best answer. A love letter, of course, is one that focuses on someone’s finest qualities, the happiest memories and the valuable lessons […]

New Year, New Mindset

Posted on February 19, 2013 - by Anne Hamilton

The Grief Process: Dealing with Painful Memories

Posted on February 19, 2013 - by Harriet Hodgson

February 23rd is the sixth anniversary of my daughter’s death. I’m not looking forward to it. Just thinking about the day dredges up painful memories and images. At the time, my father-in-law was in the hospital and being treated for pneumonia. My daughter, who admired him greatly, took time off from work to be with him. She sat by his hospital bed and worked at her laptop computer. “She was here all night,” Dad declared, a statement that wasn’t true, “and she cured me.” But my daughter didn’t cure Dad. In fact, she died two days before he did from […]