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Making Lemonade: Building on Life’s Challenges

Posted on February 8, 2013 - by Harriet Hodgson

Almost everyone has heard the saying, “When life sends you lemons, make lemonade.” In 2007, I received a bushel-full of lemons: the death of my daughter, death of my father-in-law, death of my brother and only sibling, death of my former son-in-law, and becoming guardian of 15-year-old grandchildren. Six years have passed since I suffered these multiple losses. Now I’m able to see my recovery journey more clearly. To be honest, I’ve surprised myself. Where did the courage come from? How did I make lemonade? First, I made a conscious decision to choose happiness. At my age and stage of life, […]

Profile of Drug-Death Bereaved Parents

Posted on February 7, 2013 - by William Feigelman

This article is adapted from a longer selection first appearing in The Compassionate Friends We Need Not Walk Alone Magazine, (Winter2011/Spring 2012 issue). Parents losing children to a drug overdose or a drug-related death face an especially daunting post-loss adaptation challenge, when compared to other bereaved parents whose children died from suicides, automobile accidents and natural causes. Summing up our survey research results, based on 48 drug-death-bereaved parents, 462 suicide-bereaved, 37 mostly accidental deaths and 24 natural death cases, findings showed drug-death bereaved faced similar social stigmatization from socially significant others as suicide survivors did. What sets these mourners apart […]

The Magic of a Love Letter to the Dying

Posted on February 6, 2013 - by Janet Gallin

I got a wonderful lesson in the value of writing love letters to the dying on my last visit to M, my friend of forty years plus, who had, at that time, only a few days to live despite every evidence that she would live to be one hundred and twenty. She was a politically active and effective professional, had limitless energy, traveled, loved her husband, children and grandson, entertained beautifully and enjoyed what the world had to offer. She had shiny black hair. Eyes, ditto. Her complexion was flawless and her smile bewitching. She was among those whose personal […]

Top 10 Spiritual Lessons I Learned in Grief

Posted on February 5, 2013 - by Cindy Adams

#10 I didn’t care what anyone thought about how I grieved: Grief made me go crazy for a while. I was selfish and self-centered. Thankfully, my family and friends supported me through and took care of my children until I came to my senses. #9 I prayed: I soon realized that I couldn’t do it on my own. I needed God’s help. (Sounds like a 12 step program!)In my prayers, I not only talked to God, but I learned how to listen to Him and heed His advice. #8 I had to rethink my priorities: Grief taught me what was […]

Study Seeking Parents Who Have Experienced Child-Loss

Posted on February 4, 2013 - by Neil Chethik

Are you the parent or legal guardian of a child aged 5 to 18 who died of a life threatening illness (LTI) in the past five years? What is this project? Danya International, Inc. (a health communications firm in Maryland), has developed a program, Communication Counts. Developed with funding from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD), Communication Counts is a support program to help families of children who have passed away from a life threatening illness develop the skills for open and honest communication within the family and with the healthcare team about the illness and […]

Surrender is First Step in Spiritual Healing from Grief

Posted on February 2, 2013 - by Rhonda Landry

So you are in this pit, and you feel like you are in so deep you can never, in any way, climb back out, or perhaps you may not have enough motivation to do so. So, what can you do? The question, more importantly should be – what should you do? Do the only thing that works—surrender to God. You can’t be healed without the Great Physician; you can’t receive appropriate counsel without the Great Counselor; you can’t be comforted without the Sweet Comforter—the Holy Spirit! Now, I know from experience that surrender may seem impossible, but is not just […]

The Yin and Yang of Love after Spouse-Loss

Posted on February 2, 2013 - by Laurel D. Rund

Unbelievable as it seems, it has been four years since my husband passed away. Every year, from January 26th until February 19th, I go into a Bermuda triangle of memories and emotions – his birthday, the day of his death and our anniversary fall on these dates. You would think grief would have loosened its hold on me, but these meaningful days still haunt me. I loved my husband for 44 years (notwithstanding all the ups and downs of most marriages). Today, I am blessed to be in a committed and loving relationship with a wonderful man who has graced my […]

The Stigma of Suicide and How It Affects Survivors’ Healing

Posted on January 31, 2013 - by William Feigelman

In this short paper, I condense an article that first appeared in the International Association of Suicide Prevention Postvention Taskforce Newsletter (Vol. 3. No. 5, Oct. 2008). Today analysts claim suicide stigma is subtle with blame being cast upon survivors and survivors being subjected to informal isolation and shunning. It is often noted that stigmatization promotes more grief difficulties and mental health problems for survivors. But, we were surprised to find no one has verified whether these assertions are supported with systematic evidence. To investigate this, my co-investigators and I collected surveys from a sample of parents losing children to […]

Leaving My Former Self Behind: 10 Years After My Daughter’s Death

Posted on January 29, 2013 - by David Roberts

The Power in Pain March 1,2013 will mark the 10th angelversary of my 18-year-old daughter Jeannine’s death. At times, I wonder how I made it ten minutes, much less ten years. During my early grief, I never thought I would experience joy again, nor did I ever believe that my life would have meaning again, without my daughter’s physical presence. However, my perspective on Jeannine’s death has changed because I made a conscious effort to do so and because of the support and spiritual guidance that I have received along the way. It has been an empowering feeling to […]

After Suicide, Transforming Grief into Peace

Posted on January 29, 2013 - by Franklin Cook

I was consumed by guilt for a long time over my father’s suicide, in 1978, mainly because I thought I was helping him. I did not understand the nature of his illness, so some of the things I did were actually harmful to him (for example, trying to talk him out of his delusions). Most importantly, I failed to recognize that he was in a life-or-death situation, and to this day, it still seems to me that my failure to help him contributed to his death. But through compassionate retelling of the story of his death, I found freedom from […]