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Silence, a Source of Comfort for the Bereaved

Posted on January 14, 2013 - by Harriet Hodgson

Speaking to community groups is something I really enjoy. My latest talk is called “What Can You Say to Someone Who is Grieving?” and it’s been well-received. I was about to leave the church meeting hall when a woman approached me. She had a purposeful expression on her face. “Your talk was wonderful!” she exclaimed. “But you forgot something. I kept listening for it, but you didn’t say it.” “What was that?” I asked curiously. “Silence,” she replied. “Silence as comfort.” She told me a story about meeting a distraught woman at a memorial service. The mother of the deceased […]

Beginning of Grief after Death of a Spouse

Posted on January 12, 2013 - by Gloria Lintermans

On May 22nd at 2:20 in the morning, my husband died. As I was sleeping in an armchair by his side in the hospital, his nurse gently woke me with the words, “He’s gone.” Reaching over, I put my hand on his arm, stunned by the coldness of his skin. As my world shattered into a million fragmented pieces, I softly sobbed, my head falling slowly until it rested next to his on his hospital bed. After a devastating battle of two and a half years, the ups and downs of fighting disease, his body had finally given out. The […]

From Threat to Sign of Hope

Posted on January 8, 2013 - by Reg Green

It was soon after dawn on the San Rafael Hills and I was on my own, when I saw looming out of the thick mist a lone figure. Luckily his back was toward me and for a split-second I wondered whether to creep away. I realized it wasn’t a man at all, but a cutout figure of one. But not just any man. A long, lean, dangerous man. And not just any long, lean, dangerous man, but Clint Eastwood. And he was in a smoldering pose made famous by “A Fistful of Dollars.” He stood there on the crest of […]

Newtown vs. San Francisco 49ers: How I Learned to Love Football-Dr Gloria

Posted on January 8, 2013 - by Gloria Horsley

After two horrific days of watching the news and blogging for The Huffington Post and my site www.Opentohope.com and several Facebook sites, it was time to take a break and hang out with my husband, daughter, granddaughter, son-in-law and two grandsons. The men in the family are avid football fans. We live across the street from our daughter so I decided to join the fun and watch the much anticipated game between the San Francisco 49ers and the New England Patriots. As I entered their family room I was enthusiastically greeted by the family dog, Maizy. The fireplace burned brightly under the […]

Common Questions for the Newly Bereaved

Posted on January 5, 2013 - by Gloria Lintermans

When a death occurs, there often feels like there are no answers. But there are many questions. Will the pain ever go away? Will I feel better? Why haven’t I been able to cry yet? Why am I afraid to leave my house when I used to be active? Why am I running all the time, filling every waking moment with frantic activity? Why do I find it impossible to accomplish even simple tasks, or even get out of bed? Why do I find myself breaking down in embarrassing places? Why can’t I have any control over my emotions? Why […]

A Forever Decision, Part 11

Posted on January 2, 2013 - by Anne Hamilton

All right. I’m officially depressed. I didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to name the illness. But I’m admitting it. I am paralyzed. This is the third day that I have not been able to accomplish any task except eating, drinking, walking my dog, and talking to Walter on the phone. I suffer from depression and anxiety year-round anyway. But now I have things to do and I can’t do them. I feel overwhelmed. There are too many changes going on at once, and the voices in my head are coupling with the fear I have of the […]

Writing to a Friend in Hospice

Posted on December 30, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

Because I was out of town for several weekends, I missed several Sunday church services. When I returned to church, I saw a friend of mine. She had lost so much weight she barely looked like herself and was wearing a cap to conceal her bare head. “Oh my gosh, she has cancer,” I thought to myself. The next Sunday my friend sought me out. She gave me a CD, a recording of the lay church service I had given several weeks ago. “This is for you,” she said with a smile. Her gesture surprised and touched me. “Thanks so […]

A Forever Decision, Part 10

Posted on December 28, 2012 - by Anne Hamilton

Uncle Steve went home. He’s back in his home after six weeks – one week in the hospital and five weeks in the rehabilitation center trying to strengthen his limbs so he could walk better. In a strange way, I’ve had a strong emotional reaction against the move. I’ve cried like a baby. It took me a couple of days, but that’s what I did. If I can figure it out at all, it’s that I’m thinking, “This is the beginning of the end.” And that makes me really sad. My Aunt Doris came home after rehabilitation after having a […]

Your Light in the Darkness of Winter and Grief

Posted on December 27, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

During the darkest time of the year many string lights on Christmas trees, light menorah candles, and decorate outdoor trees with lights. But if you’re grieving, you may not pay attention to the lights or have the energy to decorate for the holidays. You may think your light has gone out. It hasn’t. Your light – the talents, training and experience you possess – is still within you. These gifts have not disappeared. Instead, they lie fallow and are waiting to grow again. How can you rekindle your light and share it? Connecting with a spiritual community is a good […]

Wedding Rings and Worldly Things

Posted on December 26, 2012 - by Melinda Richarz Lyons

After I was widowed, I became part of a group of men and women who had each also suffered the loss of a spouse. We often got together and discussed our mutual struggles, from financial issues to decisions about when it was the right time to do certain things. What to do about wedding rings and when to do something with our spouses’ worldly possessions were topics that came up very often. And the one thing I discovered was that both of these concerns should be handled in a very individual way. I think it comes down to what you […]