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Grief and Sexuality

Posted on November 5, 2012 - by Marty Tousley

A reader writes:     My mother died recently, and although she was older and it happened rather quickly, still it was the saddest thing I’ve ever experienced. Now, three months later, I’m finding it very difficult to become intimate again with my husband. Even being in close proximity to him is difficult for me. It almost scares me. Especially because I want so desperately to know that my mom is watching over me, but I don’t want her to see me having sex with my husband! Can you give me some direction on this?  My response:     You say you […]

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A Forever Decision, Part 7

Posted on November 4, 2012 - by Anne Hamilton

It has been a week since I found out that my Uncle Steve has terminal cancer. I’ve felt sick to my stomach. I’ve felt calm. I’ve felt trapped. I’ve felt hopeful. I try to think about how I’ll feel without him in my life. I wonder what his life will be like until the end. I thank God for painkillers. I call him every day. I’ve planned a trip on November 13th when I’ve completed my work contracts and can drive across the state to see him. I ask him how he feels every day. He says, “I’m hanging in […]

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Simple Comfort: How to Help Someone in Grief

Posted on November 2, 2012 - by Connie Vasquez

I was a 48-year-old only child when my mother succumbed to Alzheimer’s Disease. I’d I spent three weeks alone at her bedside in the hospice wing of a wonderful nursing home in Connecticut — remembering with her and for her, singing to her, and being grateful — until she died that hot August morning. When I think back on what most helped me through my grief, I am fortunate to have more than several memories. I speak now to those of you reading in the hope of learning what you can do to help someone you care about when they […]

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A Forever Decision, Part 6

Posted on October 30, 2012 - by Anne Hamilton

There are certain beings in this life that I love more than anyone else. They are: my dogs Isabella and Camilla, my boyfriend Walter, and my Uncle Steve. I lost Cami due to a brain tumor seven weeks ago. I have struggled to keep on top of my emotions – and by that, I mean that I have struggled to always face my emotions and not push them down. It has been very hard to concentrate for any length of time. And it has been hard to keep my motivation strong. Last week was so hard that I couldn’t even […]

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The Halloween Graveyard

Posted on October 28, 2012 - by Tom Zuba

The other day, while mindlessly driving down a narrow, fall-colored, leaf-filled neighborhood street, I noticed that Halloween decorations were beginning to appear.  Pumpkins.  Ghosts.  Witches.  And then the graveyard. I slowed down to take it all in.  The Halloween graveyard. This particular family had elaborately constructed a very real-looking cemetery complete with a spider-webbed decorated iron fence, an ominous looking entry gate and more tombstones than I cared to count.  I smiled a little and shook my head.  Innocent and ignorant I’ve come to call them. Twenty years ago my response was different.  Twenty years ago, my wife and I […]

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Still With Us: Son Visits Through Signs

Posted on October 27, 2012 - by Debra Reagan

The plans were set for a 9-day adventure with my sister. The excitement and anticipation were building. I had to pack carefully as our travels would cover different elevations and therefore different temperatures. The plans were to cover many miles and to experience as much as we could. After hours of traveling by plane and shuttle, I finally arrived at my sister’s house. The time had come and our excursion would begin the next morning. It has been over 7 years since Clint’s death and I often find myself speaking in a prayerful way to the heavens in hopes that […]

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The Old Tree Keeps Memories of Boys Grown or Gone

Posted on October 27, 2012 - by Debra Reagan

The Old Tree There is an old tree that stands as a giant in our back yard. This tree stood tall on this land years before we built our home. I am thankful to the stranger that planted it. This giant sleeps through the winter winds and comes back to life each year. In the spring its branches hold the homes of many small creatures. Years gone by, the roots doubled as hidden recesses for plastic Easter eggs. This majestic tree still provides cool refreshing shade during the hot days of summer. A tire swing once hung from the mighty […]

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Why Do People Say Hurtful Things?

Posted on October 26, 2012 - by Melinda Richarz Lyons

I learned a lot after I lost my husband, and one of the things I learned is what not to say to someone who is grieving. We are all different, but I found it hurtful when people would say things like “Oh you will see a reason for this someday.” Maybe that would be comforting for someone else to hear, but I found those types of comments very unsettling, to say the least. Our emotions are turned upside down after a terrible loss, and in my case I know I was overly sensitive. But maybe the reason words like that […]

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Resilience After Natural Disaster

Posted on October 20, 2012 - by Sara Perry

    Posted by Sara Perry at 5/29/2011 1:33 PM | Healing After Loss: A Matter of Resilience “The resiliency of the people here in Missouri and across the south is one thing that’s impressed me the most.” (Richard Serino, FEMA The Washington Post, 5-24, Section A, page 8).   You have probably heard, read, or seen about the tornado that mowed down about a third of the city of Joplin, Missouri, on Sunday, May 22nd.  According to an Associated Press article on 5-27-11, the Joplin tornado was the deadliest on record since records started being kept in 1950. More than […]

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‘I Want My Life Back’

Posted on October 20, 2012 - by Sara Perry

  “I want my life back.  And if it’s not happening now, I want to know when.”  Kenichi Suzuki   (Chico Harlan, The Washington Post, A14, Sunday, April 14, 2011).     The earthquake and tsunami in Japan hurt and killed countless people, destroyed homes, neighborhoods, and towns.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, a nuclear crisis followed in the wake of the two natural disasters.  Survivors who lived closest to the Fukushima Dalichi nuclear facility were required to immediately evacuate.  Others who lived a bit further from the nuclear facility were told to stay inside.  Others who lived still […]

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