Open to Hope Articles

Articles Home

Fifteen Commandments for Surviving the Death of Your Child

Posted on August 6, 2012 - by Coralease Ruff

In ancient Hebrew Scriptures, Yahweh gave 10 Commandments to Moses, following the Israelites’ escape from slavery in Egypt. First recorded in the book of Exodus, these Commandments are moral statutes designed for the Israelites to enjoy fruitful and holy living. Unlike the Biblical Ten Commandments, the 15 Bereavement Commandments listed here, are not universal and timeless standards of right and wrong. Rather, they are principles that many grieving individuals, especially bereaved parents, have found beneficial for surviving the emotional roller coaster of the grief journey. The purpose of these 15 Bereavement Commandments is to offer you a pathway to inner […]

Private Drive: Visiting the Home Where Husband Died

Posted on August 1, 2012 - by Marta Dorton

Today, I took a short cut through a long memory. At the last minute I turned left at the light, thinking I would avoid the heavy afternoon traffic and face a piece of my past. I drove down the hill, Southland Park and the swimming pool to my right. The hot, humid day brought out the summer vacation crowds. Bright towels and small swimsuits dotted the chain-link pool area. SUVs and vans packed the parking lot and lined the narrow side streets. My family and I used to walk to the pool to cool off, and then reheat on the way […]

Signs of Daughter, Signs of Comfort

Posted on July 31, 2012 - by Randah Hamadeh

It was a very painful feeling to carry my graduation gown and go to the university this morning to attend the 25th anniversary celebration and the graduation ceremony. I felt heaviness and throbbing pain in my chest that I had to carry along with my Oxford gown and the bag containing my shoes. The first time I wore this gown was in Oxford for picture taking after I completed my Doctorate defense on March 1st, 1988. My husband insisted that I should have pictures taken with me wearing the gown since I will be unable to attend my graduation, as […]

Dealing With Grief in the Workplace

Posted on July 30, 2012 - by Judith Johnson

Can you imagine “getting over” the death of someone you love deeply in four days? That’s the average paid leave given by American businesses according to “Grief Index: The ‘Hidden’ Annual Costs of Grief in America’s Workplace.” The truth is there is no “getting over” the death of a loved one in either our business or private life. Rather, it takes time for us to find a new normalcy and to restore our ability to function effectively. Grief can take its toll in all areas of our lives. In terms of the workplace, “Grief Index” provides an eye-opening perspective on […]

Book Review: Change Your Brain, Change Your Body

Posted on July 29, 2012 - by Lauren Muscarella

And here we are, the third installment of the series. While exploring unconventional books to read when grieving, I realized that the landscape is endless. With addiction and creativity covered, the behemoth issue of health is certainly top of mind. I dove into this third book, Change Your Brain, Chain Your Body, by Dr. Daniel G. Amen, feeling admittedly cocky. I read another one of his books, The Brain in Love, and felt comfortable that I understood the brain and its impact on my life. I also remembered fairing quite well in the assessment regarding my emotional intelligence. But like […]

Still Unsettled, Years After Husband’s Death

Posted on July 29, 2012 - by Christine Thiele

Years ago, I thought I’d be settled by now. I thought I’d have found my way. I thought, well, I thought. I imagined. I had no idea how life would be, so I thought it’d be different by now. The slate was blank again and plans were erased. It was up to me to figure out which direction to head, but here I sit many years later feeling unsettled…still. This is not to say I haven’t moved toward something. I have. I have come along way from the night when I watched him die. I have moved through the moments […]

Aurora Tragedy Reminds Us What to Say to Bereaved — and What Not to Say

Posted on July 23, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

The massacre in Aurora, Colorado, brings up the idea of the fragility of life. Finding the “right” words to say to a grieving person can be a struggle. You want to offer comfort, but aren’t quite sure how to go about it. After losing my daughter, father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law in 2007, I received words of comfort and hurtful words as well. One sentence to avoid is, “I don’t know what to say.” This doesn’t comfort the bereaved person and may even upset you. Unfortunately, many of us resort to platitudes and unsolicited advice when speaking with those who […]

Italian Foundation Brings Nature Art into Hospital Rooms

Posted on July 22, 2012 - by Katherine Relf-Canas

If you’ve ever been to Florence, Italy, you may have seen l’Ospedale degli Innocenti, a striking Renaissance building. Over the years, the hospital has housed the work of many Florentine Renaissance masters and was one of the earliest instances of artistic decoration in a hospital setting. Today, continuing the intertwining of healthcare and art, is The Foundation for Photo/Art in Hospitals. Founded in Florence by Elaine Poggi, the organization provides photographic images of nature to hospitals around the world. The artwork provides positive distractions for patients and visitors and transforms the stark interiors of rooms and public areas for […]

New Book Says Greatest Work Can Come From Darkest Moments

Posted on July 22, 2012 - by Lauren Muscarella

“There will always be something quite miraculous about the imagination,” writes Jonah Lehrer in his latest book Imagine: How Creativity Works. This is my second recommendation in a four-part series exploring unconventional books to read when coping with grief. With Lehrer, we are moved to inspiration. Like in Unwasted: My Lush Sobriety by Sacha Z. Scoblic, my last recommendation, Lehrer shows us that creating imaginative, artistic work cannot only help others who are inspired by its magnitude but also our own imaginative dreams. Art can lift us out of the darkness by its revelatory nature and help us find a […]

How Do You Relate to Death?

Posted on July 16, 2012 - by Judith Johnson

We don’t do death well in this country, which results in a lot of unnecessary suffering. Most of us do not talk about death and are terribly uncomfortable being in death’s presence. Yet, death is normal. By treating death like an invisible elephant sitting in the room, we deprive ourselves of making peace with our mortality, of deeply communicating with and comforting each other in the face of death and of taking the opportunity to make meaningful plans for the end of our life’s journey. Talking about and dealing with death is our last great social taboo. We all know […]