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Thoughtful Memorials Keep Your Child’s Spirit Alive

Posted on May 9, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

After our elder daughter died in 2007, my husband and I searched for ways to keep her spirit alive. Three other family members also died, my father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law. We sobbed for them all. Days became weeks, weeks became months, and our tears slowed. Finally, the time came to think about memorials. As Bettyclare Moffatt writes in “Soulwork,” “It was time and past time to heal the stones of sorrow within our hearts.” How could we honor our daughter? We brainstormed on our options, and narrowed the memorials down to three things, parental goals, our daughter’s interests, her […]

My Grief Journey Exposed in a Dream

Posted on May 8, 2012 - by David Roberts

I have had several dreams since my daughter Jeannine died in March of 2003. Through further exploration with a dear friend of mine whose passion is projective dream work, I have discovered that the lessons revealed have always been relevant to my journey. Walking and Lost With that, I want to share with you all a dream that I had several evenings ago. I was walking down an unnamed street which was near my place of work. It appeared to be first light; but I believe that I was walking at either 2:00 or 2:30am. That was the time frame […]

Burnout, Grief and Living on Purpose

Posted on May 7, 2012 - by Jane Simington

BURNOUT can be described as an erosion of the soul, a feeling that regardless of what a person does, they cannot make a difference in their workplace. Burnout is often accompanied by feelings of hopelessness, a loss of motivation, and a sense of mismatch between what is being required and what the person is capable of. This is why burnout is becoming recognized more as a situation of being off-purpose than of feeling overworked. LIVING LIFE ON PURPOSE is increasingly becoming an important factor in peoples’ lives. This is especially true for those who have moved through a difficult life […]

After Husband’s Suicide, Joy of Living Eventually Returns

Posted on May 5, 2012 - by Janet Gallin

When I got the call that my husband had died, the only sound I could hear was a piercing wail making its way with disturbing efficiency throughout the house. That shriek was an immovable savage that sucked the air out of me and left me trying to focus on where I was. I was confused for what seemed like an eternity and then, although it was a voice I had never heard before, I realized the shriek was mine. I stopped screaming only because I ran out of breath. My daughters then 14 and 10, having mistaken my shrieks for […]

A Grateful Heart Dances: Viewing a Daughter’s Loss

Posted on May 4, 2012 - by Alice Wisler

When my four-year-old son Daniel died, I grieved my own loss, and for my other children. My daughter Rachel was only six at the time. With her brother’s death, she lost her best friend. As I was thrown into the pit of grief, I looked at this small girl and my spirit was crushed. Her life is over. She’ll never have a chance to success or happiness, I thought. The years went by, Rachel grew older, and the harsh raw emotions of losing Daniel subsided. Rachel was in high school and looking forward to college. The day she wanted a […]

A Willingness to Take Chances May Come from Loss and Grief

Posted on May 3, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

Losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to a parent, according to Gloria Horsley, PhD and founder of Open to Hope. She made this observation on a radio talk show. Since the worst thing has already happened to you, Horsley continued, you take chances and do things like founding a foundation. I understand her point. After my daughter died in 2007, I started to take more chances. In the past, I tended to be a conservative person, but that has changed. I’ve said things I never thought I would say and done things I never thought I […]

Poem: Mother’s Day

Posted on May 2, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

Our last Mother’s Day together you bought me a hammock. I remember your excitement as I opened it and my anticipation as you gleefully put it together. We all tried it out of course, each of us one at a time, gently swinging in the breeze under the warmth of the sun. Later we both got in together Your sister snapped our picture. A year passed and another Mother’s Day arrived. The hammock still sat in the yard. The photograph of the two of us swinging together still hanging on our fridge. This year and every year after, I climb […]

Love Well Because Loss Can Occur Any Time

Posted on April 30, 2012 - by Rosanne Pellicane

The bulls make money, the bears make money, but the hogs get slaughtered, a famous warning from the gurus on Wall Street. Greed takes many forms but it is never good. It demands. It feeds selfishness and it will ultimately consume its creator. Greed always backs the looser, especially in a marriage. Annamarie, a thirtyish financial adviser, petite and feisty talked business from her cell phone while she raced down the Long Island Expressway into Manhattan. Her passion for perfection was matched only by her husband’s love of simplicity. Harry, a Robert Redford type, looked more like a student than […]

Crying Unexpectedly in the Middle of a Talk

Posted on April 29, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

I speak to national and local groups about loss, grief and recovery. Last week I spoke to a group of Elder Network volunteers in my community. It was a small group, a dozen people gathered around a central table. The hour-long talk was about anticipatory grief, something everyone goes through, and something many fail to recognize. My talk began with a summary of the nine years I spent caring for my mother, who suffered from progressive dementia. The stress of caregiving increased as my mother’s dementia progressed. “Each day, I wondered if this would be the day she died,” I explained. […]

Signs and Connections: Graffiti Offers Hope and Assurance

Posted on April 28, 2012 - by Debra Reagan

Our youngest son, Clint, died at the age of 20 in 2005. During the early times of my grief, a bereaved mom suggested that screaming was a good outlet for tension. She recounted her screaming sessions. Try as I might, I could not bring myself to scream. Almost 3 years after Clint’s death, I was on a long isolated drive in the west. My sister was on a Rim-to-Rim hike and it was my job to meet her on the other side of the Canyon. The trip took me through miles of roadway on which I never met another car. Suddenly out […]