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Re-Writing our Grief Stories, Moving Past Fear

Posted on April 22, 2012 - by Susan Troccolo

Have you ever noticed how vivid our personal stories become in our minds over time? The more we tell them to others, the more we re-play those memories, the stronger they seem to become. We do a lot of that story-telling to heal. That is an important aspect of stories. But what happens when the stories themselves stop the healing process? When they only deepen a groove of hurt in our hearts and minds so profound that nothing new can enter? A few years back, I happened to meet a race car driver who worked as an instructor at the […]

The Storm, the Dove, Renewal

Posted on April 21, 2012 - by Laurel D. Rund

A week or two ago, a beautiful dove built a nest in a palm tree next to my house. It was nestled in a space where a palm frond had been, and there she sat on two white eggs. None of the activity of the house scared her away – lawn mowing, power washing the house, the pool generator. That mother dove centered herself on her nest in a tranquil and protective state as she waited for her eggs to hatch. She brought peace and optimism with her. My significant other –my love partner – and I would go outside […]

Shoes Bring Memories Years After Child’s Death

Posted on April 20, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

Sometimes no matter how far we have come, a moment occurs when we are blindsided again or subtly reminded that grief does not end. A moment that no matter how hard we try cannot be ignored. A moment that will reoccur again and again until we acknowledge its presence. Or a buried memory that resurfaces, insisting we remember it once more. Who would have thought shoes could hold such significance? We were moving for the first time in thirty years. I knew we had a lot of stuff, too much stuff, but I found out how much when I began […]

Remembering Mom on the Occasion of her 90th Birthday

Posted on April 19, 2012 - by Luellen Hoffman

It is hard to believe that my mother would have turned 90 years old this month. I was thinking about my mom today and had so many great memories of her and here are a few of my favorite. 1. I remember when our family lived in Bethesda, Maryland in the early 60s, sometimes she would do a little tap dance in the kitchen on the linoleum floor, while making dinner and she was good. She just seemed happy like that. At 20 she had studied ballet in New York and was accepted into the “Rockettes” before she met my […]

Spring Holidays: Getting Faith Back in Your Life

Posted on April 18, 2012 - by Gloria Horsley

April in Paris. Chestnuts in blossom. April showers bring May flowers. Since I was a child Easter has always been a special time for me – a time of resurrection and renewal. I enjoyed the straw filled baskets, Easter egg hunts, frilly dresses with matching hats and black patent shoes. Boys looked so proud in ties and jackets dressed for church. Then one sudden tragic event would change my perception of the holiday. It was 1983. Easter was early that year, on April 2nd. We had taken our annual trip to Washington D.C. Scott, my son, and his cousin Matthew […]

The Road Back To Happiness After Spouse-Loss

Posted on April 17, 2012 - by Melinda Richarz Lyons

What if you woke up to discover that your happiness was completely gone? That happened to me one cold November morning. Sid, my husband and soul mate for almost thirty-eight years, had died suddenly in his sleep. I felt like my heart could not possibly go on beating without him. I remember lying alone in the dark that night, begging God to take me, too. But when the sun came up, I was still breathing. Even though I could barely function at the time, I knew deep in my shattered heart that somehow I would have to eventually figure out […]

How Grief and Winter’s End are Similar

Posted on April 16, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

Have you ever noticed that it’s hard to tell when winter really ends and spring begins? Just when it seems all the snow has melted and that there hasn’t been any falling for awhile, we get hit with more. Sometimes, it’s just a little and hardly lasts long at all. Sometimes it’s a blizzard and that cold wet white stuff is everywhere. When it’s light and fluffy, we can remove it easily. When it’s heavy and compacted it is much more difficult. Sometimes, not long after another snowfall, we wake up and the sun is shining and the air is warm and spring […]

Counseling for Ambiguous Loss: One Expert’s Approach

Posted on April 15, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

Ambiguous loss is loss without closure. There is no body to view or bury, no death certificate, no inkling of what happened to your loved one. Uncertainty and worry become part of your days and seep into your being. Though ambiguous loss has many of the same symptoms as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), therapists and counselors treat it differently. Counseling hinges partly on how long you have been suffering from ambiguous loss and the strength of your support system. It also hinges on family structure. Several years ago, I suffered an ambiguous loss when a close relative died. I […]

Mother ‘Got My Hug’ from Deceased Son

Posted on April 14, 2012 - by Sally Grablick

My 19-year-old son, Ryan, committed suicide in June of 2002. He was a loving and generous person in life, and in the afterlife, all of those qualities remain. Ryan is a very active spirit. We communicate in various ways, but I really enjoy it when he “visits” me in my dreams. I can recall with complete clarity the first visit he ever made – that night, Ryan came to deliver the hug I had been asking for… In December of 2003, my younger sister Stephanie called to remind me of the “Worldwide Candle Lighting” held by The Compassionate Friends. This […]

A Question of Faith for Those who Mourn

Posted on April 13, 2012 - by Kent Koppelman

Faith is an important asset for those who mourn, and yet for some it is not enough. At a bereavement conference, a father described the loss of his son and admitted that he had lost his faith and did not believe in God. In the gospels, Jesus states that a person must have faith comparable to that of a child to enter the kingdom of heaven. What does that mean? I wanted to explore this question in a poem, and my first thought was that such a faith should be simple yet profound – seeing God in everything and seeing […]