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Pet Cremation Mistake: Breaking the Bad News

Posted on March 27, 2012 - by Marty Tousley

Question from a reader: I wonder if you could give me some advice. Recently our pet cat died and we decided to have her cremated so the ashes could be scattered in our garden. I have just learned from our vet who sent the cat to the crematorium that accidently our cat was not labeled and was mass-cremated. It now leaves me with a dilemma as I know my partner will be distraught about this. Should I get another set of ashes (which my vet says they can supply) or should I tell her the truth? I honestly don’t know […]

Poem: Hands

Posted on March 26, 2012 - by Cathy Seehuetter

I wrote this poem for Alice Wisler’s online writing workshop, “Writing the Heartache”. We were to take something that was our child’s and write a poem about it. I chose a hand print of my precious daughter, Nina’. She was two years old. Nina died at the hands of a drunk driver when she was 15 1/2 years old. Hands Little handprints in a frame, Flashback of memories days long gone, yet still so fresh in my mind as if only yesterday. Tiny hand of my baby girl, Fingers curled around my own, Only a reflex to some, But not in […]

After Loss of Husband, Woman Made the Best of a Bad Situation

Posted on March 25, 2012 - by Kerie Boshka

“Kerie, get your butt out of the air.” “Kerie, enjoy what you’re doing at the time you are doing it.” These are the two sentences I heard most growing up. The first because I loved gymnastics and drove my father mad doing cartwheels and back-handsprings any time I found enough room on the ground. The second, because I would inevitably pout and roll my eyes after being forced to make the most out of the moment – regardless of being told I couldn’t do what I wanted to do. True story: My grandmother still tells of how she knew I […]

The Missing Koi

Posted on March 22, 2012 - by Katherine Relf-Canas

I was deeply touched and comforted when following my mother’s death, a connected series of encounters with fish in general and koi in particular occurred. The art direction and style of rendering or materials varied a lot. Sometimes it was watercolor, sometimes sculpture, sometimes koi appreared as decoration on a restaurant menu or a door pull. More recently, they were a pair of koi plates loaded with cookies. The book Moby Dick found its way into my reading list, and a show at one of my favorite museums was dedicated to Melville’s book. I met a member of a women’s […]

When Illness Takes Away Your Pleasures

Posted on March 21, 2012 - by Stan Goldberg

How we view ourselves—our identity—is based on what we do, the roles we play, activities we enjoy, affiliations we have, the values that structure our lives, our abilities, and relationships. When a meaningful part of a loved one’s life is lost, their self-perception and place in the world may change. Losing something that gave meaning to life is often a bi-product of chronic and terminal illnesses. It can be the daily jog for someone who has run for forty years, the loss of hearing for someone who played the cello her entire life, or the gradual memory loss of a […]

Allowing Others to Support You After a Death

Posted on March 20, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

Rebuilding a life isn’t easy especially when we may not want to, feel like it, or know where to start. When just getting out of bed makes us so tired we want to go crawl right back in. When we can hardly remember the way to the grocery store or our best friends phone number, when we don’t feel like cooking or eating or want to eat everything in our sight. When the phone never rings when we need it to and rings all the time when we don’t. When we feel like we have been forgotten and our friends […]

Adjusting to Widowhood

Posted on March 19, 2012 - by Joan Haskins

What I was about to do seemed as terrifying as if I were going to walk across a tight rope, suspended 100 feet into the air, with no safety net below, while wearing stilettos. It was only a month since my husband of 64 years had passed away. I was still reeling with grief and uncertainty when the opportunity came for me to buy our daughter, Gena’s, home. Even before my husband’s illness, I thought it wise to buy a home on the street where our two daughters lived so we could access their help, if needed. A suitable home […]

How to Maintain Relationships with Your In-Laws After Losing Your Spouse

Posted on March 18, 2012 - by Jennifer Hawkins

My husband Mark passed away in his sleep unexpectedly from a heart condition we did not know he had. He was forty-nine years young. I was thirty-nine. Our two boys were three and five. It was without question the hardest day of our lives. And, it was the hardest day in other people’s lives as well. I’d known my husband for almost ten years when he died. His family had known him all of his forty-nine years. Many weeks later, I came out of the shock of losing my mate. I looked around at what had been ‘our’ life that was […]

‘Brotherhood’ of Fathers Who Have Lost Children

Posted on March 17, 2012 - by Kelly Farley

I had a unique experience last week while I was at work that took me a little off guard. To give you some background leading up to this experience, it started the Friday before New Year’s weekend and I was on the phone with someone (Mark) I had never spoken to before and we were talking about the possibility of his firm doing some sub-consultant work for a project I was managing. I am the type of person who is genuinely interested in other people. I think everyone has a story to tell which I find intriguing. Therefore, as with […]

Even Now, We Miss Him

Posted on March 16, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

Even now I wonder where the little boy went. The one who could always melt my heart with a look, a touch, a smile. The one who always gave more than he ever took or asked for. The young man who was going to one day play for the Green Bay Packers. The teenager that the phone always rang for. The fourteen year old who still hugged his mom in front of his friends. The young man who knelt beside me in church. The young man who still let me read to him before bed. The young man who was […]