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Tragedy Connects Us All

Posted on November 30, 2011 - by David Roberts

I had the honor of being interviewed by our local newspaper for a special section devoted to the tenth anniversary of the September 11,2001 terrorist attacks. Eight victims had ties to my community. The surviving family members of three of these families shared their journeys for this article. I was interviewed as a “grief expert,” whose name was provided to the newspaper by Utica College. I am employed there as an adjunct professor and have taught several courses including, Death, Dying and Bereavement. The interview was brief, but went well. I stated that communities have learned to mobilize around tragedy […]

‘Normal’ Grief is Unique for Each Person

Posted on November 29, 2011 - by KimBoo York

Grief automatically throws us into a time of change. Some of us might regain a semblance of the life we once had, while others veer off into surprising, unexpected paths. Either way, where ever and whomever we used to be and everything we took for granted has changed. We tell people we’re “fine” mostly because we know that’s what they want to hear, but there is a part of us that really wants to believe it, too. We want our sense of normal back, that time in our lives when everything (no matter how much we might have complained at […]

Dr. Pepper Provides Sign from Beloved

Posted on November 28, 2011 - by Brandi Reyna

From my own experience with losing my beloved, I have found it helpful for me to maintain a continuing bond and relationship with him. While our relationship is different than it was when he was here on Earth, I still have a strong connection with him in my heart and through the memories I carry of him and of us. For me, love is stronger than death. Love lasts beyond death. While I still have that bond with Greg, I am not the type of person that often finds myself receiving signs from him. I do not believe that our […]

One Is Silver, the Other Gold: a New Look at Holiday Traditions

Posted on November 26, 2011 - by Nan Zastrow

“I believe that we are here for a reason, I believe that as each day unfolds, We see less of the shadow And more of the sun. Less of the tarnish And more of the gold.” A ninety year old man owned a piece of property with a cabin on a small lake in central Wisconsin. He lived in Chicago. He didn’t go to the cabin because his wife died about seven years before, and the five-hour trip seemed more of a burden than a pleasure. But he still wanted to own the cabin because it was rich with golden […]

Spiritual Women Help Grieving Friends

Posted on November 25, 2011 - by Harriet Hodgson

Last week I gave a talk at a local church about spiritual women helping each other. The talk came from my own experience of losing four family members in 2007. My handout showed the “bones” of my talk and helped audience members to follow along. What were the points of my talk? Spiritual women offer comfort. When I was lost in the darkness of grief my sister-in-law kept saying, “You will get through this.” I appreciated her reassurance. Other friends said they were praying for me. Three small words, “I’m so sorry,” comforted me as well. Spiritual women stay in […]

This Holiday Season, Complete These Sentences…

Posted on November 24, 2011 - by Deb Kosmer

When someone we love dies, most of us always wish for two things: one, that the death never happened, that our loved one had never gotten sick and died, or never gotten into an accident and died, and two, if we could just have one more day with them, one more day to say the things we didn’t get to say or to hear them say to us, to feel their arms around us one more time, to say or hear the words I love you or good bye or whatever words we long for still. This holiday season or whenever […]

Widow Wonders if She’ll Ever ‘Fit’ with Another Man

Posted on November 23, 2011 - by Laurel D. Rund

Liana watched as the email came in. A “wink” from the cyberspace-dating world. God, she said to herself, how did I get myself into this? She settled down into the office chair and clicked on the picture. Ugg, not for me. So she pushed the search button and scanned the faces that were supposed to match with her. Looking at their eyes, their smile – trying to find someone who seemed familiar, someone to fill the huge void in her heart. She knew that it was really too soon to start dating again, but the computer drew her in and […]

Sister is Gone, Her Legacy is Immortal

Posted on November 22, 2011 - by Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

“What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world, remains and is immortal”. ~ Albert Pine When I heard those words, I immediately thought about my sister. Sandra was a school teacher. She taught school for well over 30 years. She was passionate about her work, her students. The last 10 years of her life, she taught special needs students. Sandra was a kind, caring, a very compassionate woman. Just over two years ago, when she died, I remember hearing people talk about the things she did for others. The night of her […]

Cliffs Notes for the Beginning Griever

Posted on November 21, 2011 - by Sally Grablick

How is it we are taught to love, work, marry, and procreate, but no one teaches us how grieve? The Victorians had it down to a science. They even had a parlor in their homes where they hosted the funerals of deceased family members. That’s where the term funeral “parlor” came from. People wore black for a designated length of time, and grieving families were not asked to socialize. The only thing expected of them was to rest and recover from their loss. As chunks of time passed, certain “social privileges” were reinstated. After the death of my son, I […]

Thanksgiving Day Brings Sweet, Sad Memories

Posted on November 20, 2011 - by Harriet Hodgson

Thanksgiving is a hard day for me. My parents were married on this day and my elder daughter, now deceased, was born on Thanksgiving. I can still smell the tantalizing smell of roasting turkey wafting down the hall from the hospital kitchen and the thyme that was added to the stuffing. But there was no dinner for me because I was in labor. When I think of this family holiday, I think of my daughter. We gave her birthday presents at many Thanksgiving dinners and sang “Happy Birthday” to her. Now there are no birthday gifts and no songs. Memories […]