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The Holidays: Plan, Set Boundaries, Smile

Posted on November 18, 2011 - by Rachel Kodanaz

For some reason, we all have embedded in our minds that once Thanksgiving arrives, it is time to increase the level of stress we place on ourselves. No matter what type of planning we do for the holiday season, we all tend to let the gift-giving and the changes in daily schedule and family dynamics affect our holiday season. Couple that with grieving the loss of a loved one, and it is enough to push even the strongest person over their threshold. Now add the workplace stress, and there seems to be no hope for survival through the tough, lonely […]

Giving Thanks Even for Our Troubles

Posted on November 17, 2011 - by Marcia Gaddis

It’s a few weeks before Thanksgiving, and I am thankful my family is coming to visit! I am thankful I can get out my mother’s china and polish the silver and set a beautiful table for lots of people I love. I am thankful there are little children who will be running around, pulling the dog’s tail, playing with my children’s outgrown toys. I am thankful we have a comfortable home in which to welcome everyone and plenty of food to share. I am thankful for my friends, my health, and my family’s health, the beauty of the world, my […]

Grief Soup: The Mix of Emotions

Posted on November 16, 2011 - by Paul Bennett

If only grief were simple: sadness, tears, missing that beloved person. If only we could be alone in stillness with the absence (and the starting presence) of that dear person we’ve lost. Maybe then we could simply rest in the plain sorrow of love and let our grief be. What you get, though, is it not just grief but grief soup – a rich and varied blend of emotions that is as unique as you are. Grief soup is a mixture of love and sadness, fear and anger, regret and resentment, with a healthy dose of loneliness, most likely, and […]

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

Posted on November 15, 2011 - by Carla Blowey

Few of us are ready to assume the position and the responsibility that comes with our new role in the family when a parent dies, no matter what our age. My mother died of ovarian cancer, when I was a young mother. I assumed Mom’s holiday rituals and family duties because I thought she would have expected that of me. I really didn’t want to be in charge (the men in my family would protest but it‘s true). If life could have been normal again with Mom at the wheel driving us into that celebration frenzy that only she could […]

How Can I Be a Compassionate Caretaker?

Posted on November 14, 2011 - by Stan Goldberg

If you are not already a caregiver for someone with a chronic or terminal illness, statistics say you will be. It’s estimated that there are at least 45 million family caregivers in the United States and that number will keep rising as people live longer. You should assume that at least once in your life, you will be asked or feel obligated to provide care for someone who can no longer care for him or herself. It may be occasional and for a short period of time, or constant and last for years. The question asked by millions every day […]

Aftershock of a Murder

Posted on November 13, 2011 - by Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

It will soon be 26 months since my beautiful sister, Sandra, lost her life by the hands of a murderer. I think back on the last 26 months and all that happened, all I learned. I often described those months as a rollercoaster. Emotions and feelings were up and down, up and down. Lately, I’ve likened the experience to a personal earthquake. The day I learned of my sister’s death it did feel like an earthquake. The epi center of that quake was my core, my being. I was thrown off center, suddenly. Month after month, I felt off kilter, […]

Celebrating the Birth of Triplets While Mourning Dad’s Suicide

Posted on November 12, 2011 - by Barbara Rubel

I wish you could have been there . . . It was quite a sight. Three infant car seats with tiny faces and six wiggling hands and feet. We were going home, but my father would not be there to greet us. I had spent the last four weeks of my pregnancy in the hospital, and, during that time, my loving dad had died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. He was gone, and I had three children to love. Although I had complete bed rest throughout my pregnancy, I irrationally felt guilty after his death because I […]

What Does An Angel Look Like?

Posted on November 11, 2011 - by Marcia Gaddis

A client made a personal visit to my husband’s office the other day. She had never met his assistant and while talking privately in his office, complimented her happy, helpful spirit and said, “In my mind I had not pictured her to be so joy-filled. I love being around her.” His response was a question: “Well, what does an angel look like?” I have thought about that question, certainly affirming that yes, an angel looks just like his assistant. She daily offers support and encouragement to those around her. She often brings good news and steps in to correct or […]

Death of Spouse Prompts Re-assessment of Life

Posted on November 10, 2011 - by Catherine Tidd

I read something recently that I wanted to share with you that I think articulates part of the miracle…yes, I did say miracle…of loss. Not the loss itself, of course…but what our (dare I say) rebirth when it happens. Mark Mettousek said: “It seems perverse that authenticity should stem from loss. The outline cracks, you split apart, half of you is left stranded on an iceberg floating into the chilly distance. You’re suspended in partiality, cut off from who you thought you were. This is when questioning starts, that’s the truth – when you can’t put yourself back together again, […]

Chanel No. 5: Bringing Wife’s Memory Alive

Posted on November 9, 2011 - by Richard Ballo

Chanel No. 5. It is a perfume name that I know. I can’t recall what it smells likes, yet I was married to a woman who wore it. I can recall the woman: her smile, her laugh, her facial expressions, and the way she looked at me. I have a small bottle of Channel No. 5 that I have keep. In the early years of my widowhood, I would remove the top and bring the bottle just under my nose and inhale. Then a miracle happened. She was alive: the feel of her hand on my hand, the sound of […]