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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: An Image for My Life after Loss

Posted on October 16, 2011 - by Robin Moore

When my husband died, I had no idea how I’d recover. After two years of nursing his terminal illness, our household was drained and I was just plain exhausted. As the breadwinner, I had worked full time through his illness; as the mother of a small child, I was desperately needed at home. Perhaps it looked to the world like I could make it. Kevin had told me, over and over, “you’re stronger than you think.” Grief was overwhelming, but I knew that would run its course in time. My therapist assured me I had all the right tools in […]

Grieving for the Sister She Never Knew

Posted on October 15, 2011 - by Amy Daly

Savannah, our third child, was welcomed into this world in May of ’99. I like to think she was specially chosen for our family by her older sister, Alexandria. Alexandria was too ill to stay with us. She died early in ’98, seven days after her birth, from a chromosome abnormality. She spent her brief life in the neonatal intensive care unit. Savannah was the daughter who got to stay with our family on Earth; our precious rainbow baby following the storms of loss and the sunshine of grace. Bryce (our firstborn) and Savannah have grown up knowing they have […]

Self-Forgiveness is a Key to Healing

Posted on October 14, 2011 - by Deb Kosmer

Guilt is one of those emotions people don’t talk much about, maybe because shame is so often a part of it. Yet when someone we love dies, most of us feel guilty about something or perhaps many things. “If only I had….” “Why didn’t I?” “I should have insisted.” “It should have been me.” All of are all expressions of guilt. Guilt is sometimes justified but oftentimes it is not logical but we feel it just the same and it feels very real. Horace Bushnell says, “Guilt is the very nerve of sorrow.” Sometimes when we feel guilty, we punish ourselves. […]

Dragonflies Help Dad Feel Close to Deceased Son

Posted on October 13, 2011 - by Kelly Farley

It must have been a couple of weeks after the death of my son Noah when I first noticed the dragonflies. It was mid-June 2006 and I had already been off work for several weeks. I had called my office to let them know that I wasn’t going to be in for awhile. At the time I didn’t know what “awhile” meant and thankfully they didn’t ask. I spent most of my days doing small tasks around the house, just to keep my mind occupied. The rest of the time I hung out with my wife, worked out and made […]

20 Questions to Ask Your Terminally Ill Loved One

Posted on October 12, 2011 - by Barbara Rubel

What is Palliative Care and Hospice? If you have been told that your loved one is terminally ill, this article will help you identify palliative care, hospice, advanced care planning, Five Wishes, and questions to ask during this difficult time. Let’s first look at palliative care,which helps individuals improve their quality of life by providing prevention and relief of suffering, early identification, holistic assessment and treatment of pain, and support for physical, psychosocial, spiritual and bereavement issues (WHO, 2008). Hospice, on the other hand, offers care when curative medical treatments no longer enhance quality of life. Although Hospice is most […]

‘It’s Our Responsibility to Find Hope Again’

Posted on October 11, 2011 - by Vicky Bates

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad. — C.S.Lewis We put so much emphasis on our loss, and rightly so in the beginning. It is natural. The emptiness and pain that comes with the death of a loved one will remain our focal point as long as we let it. Don’t let your heartache […]

Falling into Autumn, Season of Bitter and Sweet

Posted on October 10, 2011 - by Kate McGrath

The air has changed. Rather than being sun-kissed by the warmth of the day during the summer months, the crisp air of fall is an invigorating embrace which envelopes me and is a welcomed presence. The air is not the only change this season brings: classes have resumed, regular work schedules have begun again, and the rhythm of busy schedules have ensued. This past summer, now a sweet memory, has ended; however, as the seasons ebb and flow, I can look forward to next summer. Now however, I am falling in love with autumn once again. Of all seasons, fall is […]

Helpful Tips For Managing the Holidays For the Bereaved

Posted on October 9, 2011 - by Gloria Lintermans

While grieving we go through many firsts as important dates come up on the calendar. Whether it’s the first anniversary, birthday or holiday, it’s good to have coping strategies in place to rely on to help us cope. The holidays can be a particularly difficult time. While we are used to being with our family members during this time, sadly, an important person in the family is missing. And while we take comfort in having family close-whom we depend on for support-often while in their midst we still feel sad or lost remembering past occasions and events because this time […]

Pennies and Pachelbel: Signs from a Son

Posted on October 8, 2011 - by Beth Seyda

Back in 1997, my husband Mark and I had been married for almost 12 years and had been trying to get pregnant for the last six when we stared at the positive results from the home pregnancy test. To say we were thrilled was an understatement. Sixteen weeks into our pregnancy we had a routine ultrasound that showed our baby had a congenital diaphragmatic hernia. This would prevent the lungs from developing and growing properly during pregnancy and our baby would have a 50% survival rate when born. We learned we were going to have a boy and named him […]

Learning to Fly Again

Posted on October 7, 2011 - by Deb Kosmer

When someone we love dies, we have to fly on anyway. But what if we have forgotten how to fly? The death of someone we love grounds us. It leaves us without a pilot or a flight plan. Chaos and confusion replace logic and order. We may feel as if we have been dropped into a foreign land, a land where we do not speak the language. Suddenly all the familiar places are gone, the places we felt safe, the places where our life made sense. Our mind does not seem to work. Our feet don’t seem to work. […]