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With Her Father in the Final Days

Posted on September 21, 2011 - by Rhonda Belous

“All the leaves are brown; and the sky is grey …” The Mamas and Papas The verbs and functions began to fall away like the September leaves. Some faster than others, the “helicopters” spiraled to their demise and others quietly and unhurriedly floated to the ground. One thing was undeniable – they were never to return. Consistently, I would strive to put myself in my dad’s place and ask myself, “what would it be like to be too exhausted or weak to sit up?” It was very tough, if next to impossible to imagine. The next certainty I realized was […]

Autumn Arrives, Good Things Will Follow

Posted on September 20, 2011 - by Deb Kosmer

Outside, the temperatures are changing and we pull out fall clothing. Soon we will need even more warmth, and our winter wardrobe will appear. For some of us, it may seem no matter how many layers we put on, we are still cold. The chill we feel in our bones goes beyond warm clothing. What we really long for — an arm around our shoulders, a hug. a hand to hold, someone to snuggle with on a cool crisp day — seems to be as absent as the sunshine we once enjoyed. We sigh again. We may feel like giving up and […]

Remember Yourself

Posted on September 19, 2011 - by KimBoo York

As my country (the U.S.A.) was awash in memorializations to 9/11, it is appropriate that I was mulling on the matter of death-day anniversaries, something we shove under carpets when it’s not headlining on CNN. I’m sure many mourners note the date of death and watch the calendar with trepidation as the anniversary approaches, planning graveside visits and other timely memorials. I am not one of those people. I’ve had to learn the hard way that ignoring those dates on the calendar doesn’t make them not happen. For years I pretended they would sail by innocuously and without notice; I am […]

Caregiver Humor

Posted on September 18, 2011 - by Allen Klein

Sometimes a laugh is the only weapon we have. —Roger Rabbit Several years ago my father-in-law was very ill. One time, when he came home from the hospital, it was his and my mother-in-law’s wedding anniversary. I suggested that they invite a few friends over for dinner and I would do the cooking. Jimmy managed to get out of bed to join us. He enjoyed the meal but the strain of feeding himself and the conversation among the guests were obviously tiring him. Noticing this, and knowing that he could not hear very well, my mother-in-law wrote a note and […]

Signs From Above

Posted on September 17, 2011 - by Megan Prescott

It is my personal belief that when a person “passes away,” his or her spirit and essence continues to be very much alive. Following the deaths of three immediate family members, I became more than a little interested in theories of the afterlife. I read and watched everything I could find on the subject of near death experiences (NDEs), after-death communication, and people who claimed to talk to those who had passed on. It was my way of trying to get a handle on what my parents and brother might have experienced in their passing. It also gave me some […]

Guilty! Sister Comforted That Murderer is Confined Forever

Posted on September 16, 2011 - by Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

The trial for my sister’s murderer ended yesterday. It was a very intense week to say the least. The state rested about 3:30 pm. The case was turned over to the jury about 4 pm. We waited. I felt confident. I knew the prosecutors had done their very best. Still we waited. Finally, about 4 hours later, we were told the jury had reached a verdict. At that moment, I remember thinking, I hope they get it right. I hope they listened, I hope they reviewed their notes and the evidence. As the jury filed in, not one of them […]

Reaching Out to Those in Need

Posted on September 16, 2011 - by Mary Elizabeth Robinson

When I was young, my life’s calling was softly introduced to me. It may not have been a path I would have chosen as an adult or of my own desire, but it changed me and made me who I am today. I guess my mother’s illness and death deeply impacted my life. I never forgot the realm of devastation or the pain it caused me as my days unfolded without her. This strong inner impulse toward my purpose was the pure compassion. My heart ached for those who faced similar circumstances. I would reach out to people I knew […]

Grandmother Writes to Deceased Grandson on His Birthday

Posted on September 16, 2011 - by Sherry Van Pelt

Conner, today is your 1st birthday. It has been 12 months since your death and it hurts just as much today as it did then. Time has a way of helping you control your tears while around others but when alone, it is very easy to shed them. I miss you so much. I am only your grandmother; I can’t begin to imagine the pain that your mommy and daddy are going through. I came to work today but I shouldn’t have. I have been in the bathroom many times crying. The pain is so intense. Special days and holidays […]

Regaining the Bounce

Posted on September 15, 2011 - by Bobbi Emel

I played basketball when I was younger and occasionally even now, I enjoy going out and shooting some baskets. I love the feel of the leather and the springy sound of the ball as it hits the pavement and jumps into my waiting hands. If I haven’t played for awhile, though, sometimes I get the ball out of the garage, and when I push it down for that first eagerly-anticipated bounce, it produces a dull thud and lies there on the pavement. No air. The ball is totally flat. Life can be like that, too. Several years ago, after my […]

How Adult Children Can Cope While Caretaking Parents

Posted on September 14, 2011 - by James P. Krehbiel

We of the baby-boomer generation are feeling the pressure as we provide care for our elderly parents. It is painful as we helplessly watch our loved ones experience the impact of failing health. We feel powerless against the ravages of deteriorating health and mourn our losses as our parents begin the descent involving their incapacity to live independently. Children undergo the process of grieving as one’s parents move closer to the end of their lives. Family dynamics may shift. The process of grieving hopefully brings healing and closure to children who care-take for elderly parents. However, more typically, it takes […]