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Negotiating with God, Dreaming of Chocolate Cake

Posted on July 6, 2011 - by Lizzy Miles

The first time I met “Gary,” we ended up talking for over two hours. He was in his late 60s and had throat cancer, evidenced by a protruding plum-sized tumor on his neck which he covered with turtlenecks. He explained his spiritual beliefs and told me he wasn’t afraid to die. In fact, when he found himself saying “die,” he would correct himself to say “transition.” He told me he intended to come back after he died and guide me. I had so much to learn from him and he had so much to teach. However, as Gary’s health declined, […]

Sibling Bonds

Posted on July 5, 2011 - by Tabitha Jayne

You are my brother and always will be Not even death can take that away from me. The love we share is everlasting A bond that can never be broken. I hate saying I miss you but It´s true. Every day. The fights, the chats, the small things Mean even more now they´re gone. I hold onto my memories, never Do I want to forget your life. You are my brother and always will be Not even death can take that away from me.

Independence from Burnout

Posted on July 4, 2011 - by Jane Simington

BURNOUT can be described as an erosion of the soul, a feeling that regardless of what a person does, they cannot make a difference in their workplace. Burnout is often accompanied by feelings of hopelessness, a loss of motivation, and a sense of mismatch between what is being required and what the person is capable of. This is why burnout is becoming recognized more as a situation of being off-purpose than of feeling overworked. LIVING LIFE ON PURPOSE is increasingly becoming an important factor in peoples’ lives. This is especially true for those who have moved through a difficult life […]

Walking Forward, Holding onto the Memories

Posted on July 2, 2011 - by Linda Duncum

Through all the death I have seen, and all the grieving that I have done over my lifetime, the hardest thing I had to learn to do was keep moving forward in my earth walk. Even though it was hard, and at times I felt I was crawling along on my belly, I had to keep moving forward. “One day at a time, one step at a time.” I kept repeating this over and over, and with the help of the Creator, time passed and I found myself accomplishing things, and enjoying my friends and family once more. Regardless of […]

Grief Styles: Women Verbalize, Men Internalize

Posted on July 1, 2011 - by Vicky Bates

Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher’s mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~ Baseball player Jimmy Piersall, on how to diaper a baby, 1968 Fathers don’t always get the credit they are due. Is it because they are wired differently than women? When our son would get fussy in a restaurant, my husband […]

Widowhood: The TV Reality Series

Posted on June 30, 2011 - by Catherine Tidd

Do you ever think that the networks are missing out on the ultimate reality series? What has more drama, sick humor, running mascara, and (sometimes) hair-pulling than widowhood? When I think of the millions that could have been made on my life in the last few years, it seems like such a waste. Anyone with a camcorder could have followed me around discreetly as I annoyed family members, shocked random bystanders, and started my own wine bottle recycling program and they would have been set for life. (If you’re reading this and you’re a producer, shoot me an email.) Forgive […]

Is My Widowed Mother ‘Moving On’ Too Soon?

Posted on June 29, 2011 - by Marty Tousley

Question from a Reader: My dad died 11 months ago at the age of 55. My mom is 50 and looks a bit younger. I know she’s a young woman and has lots of life left in her but she’s got a boyfriend! I cannot understand how she can do this. I told her to do whatever she wanted as I didn’t want to see her lonely but to have some respect for us as we were still mourning our dad. When I talk to her on the phone all she knows how to say is US, WE, ME, and […]

Maintaining Friendships After a Spouse-Loss

Posted on June 28, 2011 - by Catherine Tidd

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships lately and how they change and I know that’s also on the minds of many of my widow(er) friends out there. I guess it’s that time of year…when friends and family seem to get together more than usual, so friendships and how they change are pretty much “in your face” right now. This is something I’ve wanted to write for a long time, but I wanted to write it very carefully. I don’t ever want to come across as someone who doesn’t understand or who dismisses how hard widowhood can be. Believe me…I’m […]

Grieving for Deceased Loved One and Broken Relationship

Posted on June 27, 2011 - by Harriet Hodgson

Grief comes in many forms, including the feelings associated with death, anticipatory grief, and self–grief. During the grieving process, we may also mourn for broken family relationships. My brother was five years older than I. According to my mother, he was so excited to have a baby sister he asked to stay home from kindergarten when I came home from the hospital. Due to the age difference between us, we didn’t play together that much. Though we shared the same sense of humor, our personalities were very different. I was the quieter, creative person, whereas he was the boisterous, loud […]

Grieving Mother-Loss Different for Everyone

Posted on June 26, 2011 - by Lauren Muscarella

“You’re not angry you didn’t spend that time with your mother?” a friend asked me over dinner last night. About six months before my mom died, it was obvious the end was near. In a practical sense, I prepared for my mother’s death. I canceled my study abroad semester in Italy. I acted more responsible in my day-to-day life. In other ways, I didn’t. My mother and I spoke rarely in those last six months. And I only planned a few trips back home. The last thing she ever said to me was, “This isn’t the last time we’ll see […]