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The ‘Elephant’ That is Grief

Posted on July 19, 2011 - by Deb Kosmer

Last night I dreamt someone let an elephant into our home. I couldn’t get him out of the house but I tricked him into the basement by opening the door and throwing some food down. But people kept leaving the door open and there he would be again staring me down. I kept getting frustrated then angry with their carelessness and with him for being so big and immoveable. I tried to make them see he was going to ruin everything in the house and our lives but no one would listen. I was all alone with an elephant. I […]

Does Jesus Like Chocolate?

Posted on July 18, 2011 - by Lizzy Miles

She was staring at the glass of chocolate Ensure. “Annie” didn’t like chocolate but was so devout in her Catholicism that she did not want to offend Jesus. She looked up at me and asked, “Does Jesus like chocolate?” It was such a funny question and I stifled a laugh, because I knew she was completely serious in her inquiry. Fortunately, I knew the real question behind the question. Will Jesus be mad at me if I don’t like chocolate? I smiled and said, “Jesus loves chocolate, but he forgives you if you don’t like it.” She stared at the […]

Does Your Faith Condemn You or Sustain You?

Posted on July 15, 2011 - by Maureen Hunter

When someone we love dies, especially at a young age or by violent means, our whole belief system often gets a massive shake up. The certainty that we once knew has gone. That foundation we depended on is no longer stable and true. We find ourselves in a strangely altered new world. Our faith becomes a target and gets an overhaul. We want to know why, and we ask the question over and over. The meaning in our life has gone and we wonder what it’s all about anyway. We cannot believe that our God has allowed this to happen. […]

What Can One Do with an Empty Cup?

Posted on July 14, 2011 - by Deb Kosmer

I feel like I have nothing left to give. I feel like everything has been taken from me. I don’t even know where or how to begin again. Everything and some days even everyone drains me. If this isn’t the bottom, I am afraid of what is. The emptiness of grief. The feelings of grief. The death of a loved one. Inexplicably linked, painfully so. Some days, I feel overwhelming sadness, some days anger, even guilt. Some days disbelief. Some days all of them and then some days nothing at all. Our cup is empty. We have nothing to give, even […]

Pain May be an Ally in Our Grief Journeys

Posted on July 12, 2011 - by David Roberts

I think if we all had a choice, we would want to live our lives without emotional pain. Considering that we do not live in a Utopian society, the avoidance of pain is impossible. Pain and loss is and always will be a part of our existence. Many bereaved individuals that I know have been able to thrive in the midst of catastrophic loss because of their ability to use their pain to learn how to become better people and help others. They have also learned to transcend their pain into unconditional love for others who have experienced loss and […]

Casey Anthony Verdict Stirs Fears in Sister of Murdered Woman

Posted on July 10, 2011 - by Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

Like many people this past week, I heard the verdict in the Casey Anthony trial. I did not follow the trial closely so I really don’t know what evidence was presented. I do know that I have read much of the evidence was circumstantial. With my sister’s murder trial postponed for the 7th time recently, I’ve thought a lot about that “not guilty” verdict. I shudder to think when the trial finally does happen, that those two words be spoken. I’ve been told by the prosecutor that he has no doubt in his mind that the right man is accused. […]

Volunteering for Hospice Brings Us Close to God

Posted on July 9, 2011 - by Vicky Bates

I don’t think there is anything more gratifying than working with hospice. A few years after my son’s death, I decided to sign up for the training sessions, which surprisingly many people do in my position. I had started to write about my son and felt that working with hospice would be a good fit for me with my experiences. I came to realize during the classes that it wasn’t so much my personal insight about loss but my humor that would help lift patients and caregivers. If someone was dying, why would they want some solemn person taking care […]

Grief Educator Struggles with his Own Losses

Posted on July 8, 2011 - by James P. Krehbiel

Within the period of three months, I lost three loved ones. Two of them died three days apart. Although I knew the end was iminent within each situation, my knowledge and anticipation did not soothe me – it only served to bring me closer to the inevitability of my own mortality. Some say that God will never burden us with more that we can endure. Those words seem like idle chatter – it was all too much to bear. I braced myself for the predictability and shock of my pain and sought to manage its effects. There has been no […]

Starting a Support Group in a Small Town

Posted on July 7, 2011 - by Marty Tousley

Question from a Reader: Do you have any ideas/resources for starting a parent support group? I live in a very small town. We have recently had several of our young people pass away, including my own son who was killed in an auto accident on Mother’s Day of this year. I have no idea how to go about starting something like this nor how to manage it. The closest mental health resources we have are an hour’s drive away. Any suggestions would be welcome. My response: I’m so sorry to learn of the tragic accident that took the life of […]

Negotiating with God, Dreaming of Chocolate Cake

Posted on July 6, 2011 - by Lizzy Miles

The first time I met “Gary,” we ended up talking for over two hours. He was in his late 60s and had throat cancer, evidenced by a protruding plum-sized tumor on his neck which he covered with turtlenecks. He explained his spiritual beliefs and told me he wasn’t afraid to die. In fact, when he found himself saying “die,” he would correct himself to say “transition.” He told me he intended to come back after he died and guide me. I had so much to learn from him and he had so much to teach. However, as Gary’s health declined, […]