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My fiance died four days ago

Posted on May 29, 2011 - by admin

Four days ago my fiance, Bob, died of a heart attack. We were true soul mates, for lack of a less cliched phrase. We had so much in common it was like we were twins. We had only been together for eight months, but after only a few months of dating became engaged. Every day with Bob was better than the last and we were joyfully anticipating spending the rest of our lives together. I am completely devastated and wonder how I can go on without him. I know that this happens to other people all the time but it […]

Hats Off to a World War II Vet

Posted on May 29, 2011 - by Mary Jane Hurley Brant

Yesterday was a wonderful day. While standing in line at the pharmacy, the gentleman behind me smiled. I don’t go to the CVS to make friends, but somehow yesterday I did. This older fellow’s smile, along with his vet’s hat, was engaging. He looked too young to have been in WWII so I asked him. “Yes, I was in the Navy, this was my ship. (He pointed to his hat.) Spent a good deal of time in New Guinea and the South Pacific.” He was tall, tan and handsome. I thought he must have been just a kid back then. […]

After Hospice Experience, Woman Volunteers

Posted on May 29, 2011 - by Kimberly Wencl

I had been thinking about becoming a hospice volunteer for a while. It would come to me as a passing thought every now and then. I would consider it for a bit and then put aside. Little did I know just how soon and how clearly my indecision would be reconciled. Our local hospice house is on the outskirts of town on what used to be a farm place. There is a windmill and a few trees but farm fields mostly surround the house. It looks like a home – not a place of death. I had tour a shortly […]

What To Do With a Loved One’s Possessions?

Posted on May 28, 2011 - by Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

What to do with your loved one’s possessions? Less than two months after my sister’s murder, her 24-year-old daughter (my niece) called and asked for my help. My sister owned her home and the insurance company would pay for a total restoration; however, everything had to be removed from the home before the restoration could begin. When my niece was talking to me about this, I realized I was holding my breath. My sister was murdered in her home and now, we had to walk into that home and clear it of all her possessions. Of course, I told my […]

Mother’s New Normal Includes Memories, Laughter, and Pain

Posted on May 27, 2011 - by Laura Klouzek

To borrow a few words from Huey Lewis, “The power of love is a curious thing”. Love, the ultimate emotion, has been the subject of songs, poems, and books for centuries. This elusive feeling has the power to make people laugh, cry, lose their temper, become violent, become humbled, and return for more. How is it that people can cry for a loved one who has been gone for years? We do not forget the love, and our hearts definitely do not forget the happiness of relationship or the hurt of loss. In our quest to remember those who have […]

The End of Winter Sometimes Comes Slowly

Posted on May 26, 2011 - by Deb Kosmer

Have you ever noticed that it’s hard to tell when winter really ends and spring begins? Just when it seems all the snow has melted and that there hasn’t been any falling for awhile, we get hit with more. Sometimes, it’s just a little and hardly lasts long at all. Sometimes it’s a blizzard and that cold wet white stuff is everywhere. When it’s light and fluffy, we can remove it easily. When it’s heavy and compacted, it is much more difficult. Sometimes not long after another snowfall, we wake up and the sun is shining and the air is warm […]

Tornado Losses Include People, Homes, Memories

Posted on May 25, 2011 - by Susan Berger

Watching on TV the havoc wrought by the tornadoes in Missouri and Oklahoma reminded me of how destructive natural disasters can be to those affected by them. Not only were many lives lost – wives, husbands, children, parents, pets – but also homes, schools, hospitals, entire neighborhoods. Think about the memories contained in all of those people and places. We humans form many attachments in the course of our lives. First and foremost, we value our family members and friends. Beyond our immediate circle of intimates, we interact with so many other individuals who contribute to our lives with their […]

Active Grieving Can Return Hope After Child-Loss

Posted on May 25, 2011 - by Vicky Bates

Why is change so daunting? Thinking about a transition when we are perfectly settled in our comfort zone is overwhelming at times. Sometimes, when our lives suddenly take a turn, we are like the unwilling family dog going to the kennel, being dragged by a taut leash into a new situation, our feet firmly planted on the linoleum floor, being yanked against our will toward the “unknown” back room. Many changes throw us to the proverbial winds. Job loss puts many people under tremendous stress and worry. The have to rethink what is important in their lives. They will be […]

forest for the trees

Posted on May 24, 2011 - by admin

Don’t lose sight of the big picture There’s a saying about not being able to see the forest for the trees. Grief to me sometimes can feel like that. You can’t see the future for the present and in this moment you are filled with the biggest sadness and emptiness humanly possible. Grief has somehow become my friend; after all we’ve been introduced four times. We’re practically on first name basis now. My first introduction to grief was my mother dying when I was 12. I am 26 now. It wasn’t expected, it was from nowhere, it was the blindside […]

Compassion Fatigue When Helping Others

Posted on May 24, 2011 - by Kim Go

Compassion fatigue is a term often applied to medical personnel providing support to those facing traumatic circumstances. This powerful term can be applied to numerous alternate settings. The setting that I would like to apply it to is the act of peer caregiving for the bereaved. There can be tremendous or hidden stress as a result of being engaged and involved with traumatized and grieving people. My aim is to help those who would like to develop endurance as peers in grief to create practical conditions to sustain an even level of support. First, know that what you do as […]