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For Family of Murder Victim, Wheels of Justice Turn Slowly

Posted on March 8, 2011 - by Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

My sister was murdered on September 17, 2009. Six months and 5 days later, on March 23, 2010, an arrest was made. It will soon be 18 months since her death. It will soon be 12 months since the arrest was made. I’ve been told that the court process will be slow. It will take time. I’ve learned what I have been told is true. I’ve also learned that waiting is a true test of my patience. The initial trial was set for June 7th, then continued until June 21st. The trial was continued once again, this time until September […]

‘Honest Grief’ Helps 10-Year-Old Deal With Grandpa’s Death

Posted on March 7, 2011 - by Karen Johnson

I was ten, playing with my friend across the street from Grandma and Grandpa’s bungalow. I was so grown-up now. I got to ride the bus ALL ALONE to visit, and it was a 3-hour trip! We were on the porch, and I looked up to see Grandma crashing out the back door, running toward the backyard. Without thinking, I hopped up, crossed the street yelling, “Grandma, what’s wrong?” I found Grandma kneeling over Grandpa, who had been in a very tall tree trimming the branches. I didn’t think much about Grandma going back in the house as I kneeled by Grandpa […]

Choose to Let Go of Grief and Pain

Posted on March 6, 2011 - by Tabitha Jayne

Wild-eyed, I stared at the reflection in the mirror. I no longer recognised myself. My eyes were haunted by the pain and suffering not only of my brother’s death but of all the other losses I’d experienced throughout my life. My once long red hair was gone, hacked off in a fit of fury as I tried to rid myself of the wild emotions coursing throughout my very being. All that remained was a bald scalp. My vision blurred, a result of the all the tablets and alcohol I’d thrown down my throat in an attempt to appease the pain. […]

Hope Eternal: Miscarriage Doesn’t End Mother-Daughter Bond

Posted on March 5, 2011 - by Heather Arbuckle

We call her Hope. Our baby, lost to us in late January 2003, was with us only briefly. Eight weeks to be exact. Not long enough to take her first breath, but long enough to be a reality in my heart. Long enough for me to imagine holding her in my arms. Long enough to visualize her face and imagine her personality. But, gone before any of those dreams could be realized this side of Heaven. Though we never saw our baby, and science could not determine whether it was a boy or a girl, my husband and I have […]

Mother’s Necklace is More Than Just Jewelry

Posted on March 5, 2011 - by Lizzy Miles

I wore the necklace with the tiny multicolored beads every day. Its primary color was black but there were also blues, greens, reds and white. I liked the necklace because it was unique and because it matched my wardrobe. It was my favorite. I was on vacation and in a hotel room in Las Vegas when the unthinkable happened. I was pulling the necklace over my head and it got caught in my ponytail. I tugged and it broke. The tiny little beads scattered everywhere: on the counter, on the floor and down the sink into the drain. I must […]

When You’re Feeling Widowy…

Posted on March 4, 2011 - by Christine Thiele

I know that widowy isn’t a word, but it is a description of how I feel today. Widowy isn’t quite full-on sadness. Widowy is more like melancholy. My grief, my sadness blows around me like a gentle breeze. It’s a breeze that I notice, but it’s not the hurricane force of grief that can throw me to the ground. Widowy for me is kind of sweet and sad all together. Here in Arizona, the weather is cold, but beautiful these days. In the end of January and early February, the events begin that make us the tourist trap we love […]

Poem: My Anna, My Angel

Posted on March 3, 2011 - by Janet Grimes

Across the room, I feel your touch. So perfect, only Heaven can hold you. Above the silence, I hear your laugh. So perfect, only Heaven can hold you. Through the night, I see your face. So perfect, only Heaven can hold you. Stretching into the morning, your heart beats with mine. So perfect, only Heaven can hold you. Your presence invites me to a place we can be together. So perfect, only Heaven can hold you. How my Jesus must adore holding you in His arms He loves you more than I do. So impossible, but true. My Anna, my […]

‘I Have Him in My Mind’: Maintaining Connection After a Loss

Posted on March 3, 2011 - by Lori Wood

Not long ago, I watched an HBO movie entitled, Temple Grandin. It is the true story of a woman who is autistic. The cast and movie won 7 Emmy Awards and Claire Dane won the Golden Globe award for her portrayal of Temple Grandin. I was intrigued with the insight of this woman. She turned what some look at as a handicap into a gift. In her teen years, she was enrolled at a boarding school where the science professor takes a special interest in her. He discovers the unique way her mind works. Temple has a special talent with animals […]

Playing Hide-and-Seek with Grief

Posted on March 2, 2011 - by Harriet Hodgson

The church service had just begun and the congregation and guests were greeting one another. A friend, who knew four of my family members died in 2007, approached me and asked, “How are you?” “I’m good,” I replied. “How are you?” Widowed a year ago, my friend replied, “Oh, I’ve found that grief hides. When you think it’s gone, you find yourself crying.” I understood her comment. After losing my daughter, father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law, there have been many times when grief reached out and grabbed me. These moments happen without warning and take me by surprise. I expect […]

What Are Your Triggers?

Posted on March 2, 2011 - by Kelly Farley

I have to be honest; it’s been a while since anything has “triggered” an intense emotional response. These responses are much fewer and farther between than in my early days of grief. After the death of my daughter, Katie, I wouldn’t even allow myself to respond to the triggers. I had trained my mind to “change the thought or situation” immediately. It was my way to control my feelings and pain, which, looking back, wasn’t the best decision on my part. After the death of my son, Noah, I had no choice but to allow myself to feel the full […]