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Coping with ‘Shutdown Spells’ in Grief

Posted on December 7, 2010 - by Marty Tousley

Question from a Reader: Since my husband died, I’ve grown used to having mood swings and waking up feeling pretty good one day and deeply depressed the next. I know these are normal grief reactions, and when one of the “rotten” days comes along it helps to tell myself it will pass.  But then, even in the middle of a good day, sometimes suddenly the feelings of loss and hurt and abandonment overpower me with a force that’s like a direct hit from a shotgun. And everything I was doing comes to a complete halt and I’m immobilized and can’t […]

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Rituals Can Help the Grieving During Holidays

Posted on December 7, 2010 - by Ligia Houben

For some people, the holidays symbolize a time of nostalgic memories, losses, and remembrance. These feelings of loss may bring grief to our souls that at times cannot be expressed or shared with others, especially when one is supposed to be cheerful and happy. If you have recently experienced the loss of a loved one, the holidays may bring a sensation of a void as we miss the person who, physically, is no longer with us. Even though we may not feel like celebrating, we can still remember our loved one in a meaningful manner and a beautiful way to […]

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What is this Gnawing Feeling I Have in my Stomach?

Posted on December 6, 2010 - by Clara Hinton

Following the loss of a child, there is a feeling that most parents get that they can’t seem to explain other than it’s a “gnawing feeling.”  It’s not an outright ache, nor is it a sharp pain.  It’s just a “feeling” that is always there when you are awake.  It feels empty and hollow, and food doesn’t seem to fill it or lessen the feeling.  Quite often, after multiple visits to the doctor, there is a shrug of the shoulders and you hear the words, “I just don’t know what this could be.  Let’s wait it out and see.  All […]

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Widow Copes with Holidays by Serving Herself, Others

Posted on December 5, 2010 - by Tambre Leighn

Here it comes…and every year, earlier than ever…the dreaded arrival of the holiday television commercials.  In my world, retailers hoping to extend the buying season are simply extending the length of time I have to try to ignore the sadness this time of year still stirs up ,even nine years later.  I’d love to fast forward from October to January.  This way, I would miss the passing of another wedding anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years without my late husband.  Instead, I have had to find workarounds.     My first Christmas without Gary, it was easy to opt out of celebrating.  Everyone […]

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hole in my heart daughter died of overdose

Posted on December 4, 2010 - by admin

0n 4/18/2008 my only daughter katrina died methadone overdose leaving behind her 8 yr old daughter genesis on that day my life changed forever she was found dead on the bathroom floor of a battered womens shelter 2 days after her brothers daughter was born i had mixed emotions .when she died we were on bad terms the guilt i am experiencing is kiiling me i live in a small town were ther no help at all noone to talk to both me and my daughter raised genesis so i tried getting custody in the courts due to the facts […]

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Open to hope

hole in my heart daughter died of overdose

Posted on December 4, 2010 - by admin

0n 4/18/2008 my only daughter katrina died methadone overdose leaving behind her 8 yr old daughter genesis on that day my life changed forever she was found dead on the bathroom floor of a battered womens shelter 2 days after her brothers daughter was born i had mixed emotions .when she died we were on bad terms the guilt i am experiencing is kiiling me i live in a small town were ther no help at all noone to talk to both me and my daughter raised genesis so i tried getting custody in the courts due to the facts […]

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Recipes for Finding Joy for the Holiday Season

Posted on December 4, 2010 - by Robin Edgar

During the holiday season, families make plans to get together for good food, good times, and good memories — or maybe not. Holiday gatherings can be times of sadness if a family is separated from or has lost a loved one. Celebrating the special times you had with them can ease that pain. In addition to filling your table with delectable treats, use the following recipe to feed your soul with happy memories and to find joy during the holidays. Ingredients to Trigger Memories of Your Loved One: Smells like cinnamon, perfume, or burning wood Sounds like a slamming screen […]

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Avoiding the Victim Role while Mourning

Posted on December 3, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

Finding your way through the grief maze takes time, gut-level honesty, and personal courage.  Questions keep you awake at night and haunt your days.  Who am I now?  Will I survive this?  What will life become?  Unfortunately, some mourners succumb to the victim role, which is damaging and nonproductive. After four family members, including my daughter, died in 2007, the victim role was tempting.  I wanted to wallow in grief and victimization.  I’m a grandmother and, thanks to life experience, I was able to resist this temptation.  Becoming a victim would only make more trouble for me at a troubling […]

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Errol Clifford was pure joy

Posted on December 2, 2010 - by admin

Errol Clifford died last year and we are grief stricken. We still find hope in his joy and optimism. http://www.errolclifford.com/

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Avoiding the Holiday Hum ‘Bug’

Posted on December 2, 2010 - by Kate McGrath

Thanksgiving has left me full and tired. I am full – not only of turkey, dressing, and mashed potatoes, but with gratitude and thanksgiving for family and friends.  I am tired – exhausted from filling myself with so much food and from the emotional toll that often accompanies the holiday seasons. Now that the feast and holiday of Thanksgiving is done, I have begun to anticipate the holiday of Christmas and all that it entails: various sights, sounds, and smells which have certain bitter-sweet associations attached.  Due to the anxiety that comes about as a result of worrying what Christmas […]

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