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Families Crave Remembrance After a Loss

Posted on November 12, 2010 - by Nina Bennett

The fall and winter holidays can be particularly difficult for bereaved families. Marty Tousley is a psychiatric nurse and certified bereavement counselor. In her article, Getting Through the Holidays, she says, “Holidays can create feelings of dread and anxiety in those who are bereaved. The cliched images of family togetherness and the often unrealistic expectations of a season filled with picture-perfect, joyful gatherings can cause tremendous stress for those who are not grieving, let alone for those in the midst of the painful, isolating experience of loss.” The first, and most important thing is that it is perfectly normal and […]

Veterans Day Brings Special Memories

Posted on November 11, 2010 - by Sandra Pesmen

This year Veterans Day, Nov. 11, marks the third anniversary of my husband’s funeral. And as I got ready to hang the flag out front, I recalled the special sensitivity and kindness of my consultant at Shalom Memorial Park and Funeral Home, in Arlington Heights IL. On Nov. 9 that year, as our family was dealing with the details of death, he telephoned. “Did you say your husband was in the United States Marines?” he asked “Indeed he was,” I answered. “Well, since the funeral will be on an American national holiday, I believe the Corps will be happy to come to the cemetery to […]

7 Tips for Helping Grieving Children

Posted on November 10, 2010 - by Jewel Sample

The leaves fall in clusters from the huge branches overhead laying a thick crimson-orange blanket over my yard. School has been in session for a couple of months now, and special family celebrations are fast approaching. Holidays, birthdays and other special occasions are a time when faith, family and friends are what matter most. Bereaved families with children have the challenge of redefining their family celebrations while grieving. It is not uncommon for families to question whether they should participate in their special occasions or just skip it. Non-participation and denying the surviving children an opportunity to take part and […]

Grief in a ‘Drive-Thru’ World

Posted on November 10, 2010 - by Janice Ervin

I hugged my dear friend one more time, and began the gloomy drive back home to Delaware. The day was dark with torrents of rain. Blurred headlights passed to my left, while the traffic lights overhead valiantly flickered through the fractured glass that had become my windshield. With my heart aching at the loss of someone dear to me, the poor visibility mirrored how I now viewed life – through a distorted lens. It seemed as if the whole world was enveloping me in tears I was determined not to shed. A quick glance at the clock on the dashboard […]

Movie Triggers a Feeling of Missing the Old Life

Posted on November 9, 2010 - by Christine Thiele

Last weekend, we had a free movie weekend from some of the pay movie networks. I love this! I can watch all the movies I want and since I can’t afford pay movie channels anymore, it feels like such a luxury. Being a couch potato, I was looking forward to watching movies, a few cable TV series and just relaxing with my kids. So on Sunday, we were looking for a family movie to watch together. Marley and Me was one of the choices. My older son was worried about how sad it would be. I assured him it was […]

Set Boundaries During the Holidays

Posted on November 9, 2010 - by Catherine Greenleaf

The holiday times roll in, and suddenly it’s so easy for me to overextend myself. Parties with co-workers, lunches with friends, get-togethers with relatives — it all seems like so much fun in the beginning. Then I look at the calendar in bewilderment, noting that I don’t have an evening to myself for two solid weeks! It happens to all of us, but for suicide-loss survivors, there may be a tendency to overload to avoid the pain of spending the holidays without a loved one. Know that you can always cancel. You don’t have to be Superwoman or Superman during […]

Widows: Let Love Win Out over Fear

Posted on November 6, 2010 - by Michele Neff Hernandez

Five years ago when my husband died in a cycling accident, the last thing on my mind was finding a new man to love. Horrified by the unexpected jump from wife to widow, I struggled to regain both my sense of self and my will to live. When I first was able to entertain the thought of marrying again, I would be rendered mute when asked to utter the phrase, “till death do us part.” Those four words mean something completely different to me now that I know what parting actually feels like. As my heart slowly recovered and love […]

Thoughts As You Approach Your Own Death

Posted on November 5, 2010 - by Stan Goldberg

How do we “know” something? How do we know anything? Our primary sources usually involve written documents or the spoken word, with information ranging from ludicrously false to probably true. Yet, most of the time, even the most “objective” information has a slight personal twist to it, placing a layer between it and us. What we know in these instances is what another source has said about it. Our “knowing” gains more credibility if we personally have witnessed or participated in something. It’s one thing to say “I read it,” and quite another to say “I saw it.” Most of […]

‘It’s Not Going to be OK,’ She Said

Posted on November 4, 2010 - by Robin Moore

Looking back on it now, the bright curve of my life turned gently downward after my daughter was born, fell sharply as my husband was diagnosed with a stage IV cancer, and waggled as we fought his illness for a year. After the second surgery, through the fourth and fifth chemo regimens, my line flattened into a basin. After he died, our hearts grieved the loss, and we struggled to adjust to everyday life. Caregiving and anticipating loss were, in a way, worse than the pit of grief. Adjusting and struggling for air in the year after his death were […]

Not Lonely, Just Alone

Posted on November 4, 2010 - by Chasity Glass

I’ve been feeling alone. Not lonely, just alone. I thought a new cell phone might connect me. A fancy ones with bells and whistles and sleek curves and soft touchable screens. I got bought her last week. She is my everything. My alarm clock. My calendar. My camera. My memory. My best friend. I even go so far as sleeping with her at night, tuck her underneath my pillow. She is just too little to spoon. I tried. Oh phone, what ever did I do without you? And she’s the smartest best friend. She can help me navigate through traffic […]