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Compassion is the Most Precious Gift

Posted on December 11, 2023 - by Bradie Hansen

Compassion is the Most Precious Gift The holiday season is upon us and with that comes a blur of sights, smells, memories and hopes. Some are pleasant and even joy filled. Others are tender, painful, and heartbreaking. The dissonance that so many of us feel as we navigate “the most wonderful time of the year” can be very disconcerting. Loneliness, resentment, and jealousy can dig in as the disparity between the haves and have-nots becomes clearer. People living with grief know about this. I’ve heard many refrains like, “I just want to get through the holidays so I don’t have […]

Avoiding Burnout and Compassion Fatigue

Posted on December 7, 2023 - by Harriet Hodgson

Burnout and Compassion Fatigue My husband John’s illness progressed, and self-care became harder. I felt like I was playing a bad game of catch-up. No matter how hard I tried, I never caught up with caregiving tasks, and there were always unchecked items on my to-do list. I wondered if I’d make it through the day. When I was alone and honest with myself, I worried about burnout. Burnout can take years to develop. The caregiver’s feelings progress from enthusiasm (when they are first hired), to stagnation (too much work, too little time), to frustration (not being able to do […]

In Search of Healthy Grieving

Posted on December 6, 2023 - by Harriet Hodgson

In Search of Healthy Grieving I wanted to experience “healthy grieving.” These words often appear in grief articles and books. Did healthy grieving mean sobbing like crazy, being confused, or having grief brain? None of those sounded healthy to me. I went in search of healthy grieving. As I walked forward on the healing path, I understood the meaning of these words. Healthy grieving required thinking of my deceased loved ones differently and finding new places for them in my life. Some grief experts said I had to develop a new relationship with the deceased. This idea puzzled me. I […]

The Comfort of Linking Objects

Posted on December 5, 2023 - by Harriet Hodgson

The Comfort of Linking Objects Giving away linking objects is part of my story. Linking objects are things that belong to the deceased person, such as a watch, a bread knife, woodworking tools, and more. As soon as he died, I slipped John’s wedding ring on my finger. Wearing the ring made me feel like John was still with me. I touched the ring and remembered the years we shared. Wearing John’s ring comforts me every day. Linking objects could comfort other family members. I gave John’s black leather medical bag with gold letters on the side that read, “C. […]

Are You Making Progress in Your Grief?

Posted on November 21, 2023 - by Beth Marshall

So how do you know if you’re making progress on this messy journey called grief? I remember going through seasons where a trigger would wipe me out or tears would come from out of nowhere. I’d wonder if it was always going to be this way. I’m happy to tell you, thankfully, it won’t always be this way. Are you making progress in your grief? Here are a few glimmers of healing you might be noticing now: Sadness and sorrow are not the first thoughts on your mind in the morning. Rather than sprinting away from a friend who’s experiencing […]

Holding On, Letting Go After Husband’s Death

Posted on November 20, 2023 - by Harriet Hodgson

What I Let Go Of After my husband died, I had to decide what to let go of and what to hold onto. I let go of John’s companionship. John and I enjoyed each other, were honest with each other, and most importantly, listened to each other. After conversing with him for years about a wide range of topics—everything from saving whales, to changes in political parties, to child Advance Review Copy Uncorrected Proof 144 Winning development—I didn’t have anyone to talk to. The apartment was silent. I remembered past conversations and yearned to have new conversations with him. I let […]

Funeral Provides Children with Full Picture of Dad

Posted on November 20, 2023 - by Ken Lefkowitz

Funeral Provides Children with Full Picture of Dad During the day of my father Leo’s funeral, his sons were treated to much praise and tributes from members of the Factory Inspectors Union, many of whom attended Leo’s burial with sincere, deep respect. Leo’s oldest son, Phil, who had left Leo’s hospital bedside, returned for the funeral. At the grave site, Jake Peters, a union officer, philosophized to Leo’s three sons, “If you die and don’t accomplish anything, don’t leave a mark, you die for sure. But if you’ve impacted something, changing something, fought and stood up for something, you live […]

Widower Honors Both Deceased Wives

Posted on November 20, 2023 - by Peter Lichtenberg

Peter A. Lichtenberg, PhD was inducted into the Radnor High School Hall of Fame on Friday, November 10, in Radnor, Penn. Peter was honored for his work and impact on the field of gerontology and especially in helping to understand, aid victims of, and prevent financial exploitation of older people. He lost his wife Becky at age 25 to a sudden death and his wife Susan at 55 to breast cancer. Life Achievement Honor Feels Great It was four days of excitement, sharing, exploring, honoring, reflecting, and enjoying so much being “home”— at Radnor High School, with my brother, in Philadelphia. […]

Don’t Shield Your Children from Grief

Posted on November 19, 2023 - by Beth Marshall

In our predominantly fun childhood, the one thing kids were never allowed to do was to participate in the funeral-related activities when someone passed away. Grief and sadness were simply not on the agenda. When someone died, my brothers, sisters, and I would keep playing kickball and jumping on the trampoline, while our parents did funeral things. After the service, we rarely talked about the person who had died. Even in the years that followed, we didn’t do much to remember our beloved family members who were now gone. As an adult, I learned quickly that shielding kids from sorrow […]

Questions You May Ask in Your Pain

Posted on November 17, 2023 - by Beth Marshall

During the intense period after the loss of my favorite people, many questions ran through my mind. These are questions you might ask in your pain. Will the tsunami of tears ever end? Why do some people seem to skate through sorrow while I feel isolated and stuck? If my brain is this foggy and I’m contemplating hibernating ’til springtime, am I going crazy? Or is this just what grief looks like? Where are the people who came around in the early days? Do they even care about me? Or about her? I wish I could have seen my mom’s […]