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Conflicting Feelings on Third Anniversary of Daughter’s Death

Posted on February 23, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

Today — February 23, 2010 – is third anniversary of my daughter’s death.  She died from the injuries she received in a car crash.  I have conflicting feelings: sorrow that will be with me always, and a sense of accomplishment about raising my grandchildren.  The instant we learned their father had died in another car crash, my husband and I told the twins they were coming home with us. Weeks later, the court appointed us as their legal guardians and fiscal conservators. Should I mention the third anniversary of their mother’s death to the twins?  Though they were sleepy when […]

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As You Grieve, Look for Sacred Moments

Posted on February 23, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

After my physician husband completed his tour of duty in Vietnam, the Air Force sent him to a base in Selma, Alabama.  He was the commander of the medical group.  My husband and I, and our two young daughters, lived in a converted barracks.  Each morning, dozens of maids would walk from town – a distance of about four miles – to clean houses on base, and then walk back to Selma. I couldn’t believe it. It was still dark when I heard a voice in the distance.  The woman was singing “My Lord What a Morning,” a famous African-American […]

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Great Movies Send Message that Joy Returns

Posted on February 22, 2010 - by Mitch Carmody

Oh……. we’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz …Those words and melody always bring to mind one of my favorite movies. Maybe it was gathering around the television with mismatched Tupperware bowls of popcorn and a cold bottle of Coke (my mother had her own “hands off” stash of Tab). We were dressed up for bed early, all snug in our jammies with pillows piled behind our heads and we would listen intently as Danny Kaye introduced us to the yearly ritual of the televised viewing of “The Wizard of Oz.” I love everything about the […]

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Poem: A Prayer of Hope

Posted on February 21, 2010 - by Deborah Tornillo

Today, I will take baby steps And, hold my head high With a prayer of hope for a smile. Today, I will give myself a hug And, accept that I am a human With a prayer of hope for forgiveness. Today, I will let go of yesterday And, accept that I did my best With a prayer of hope for joy. Today, I will lift my head up And, trust in my heavenly Lord With a prayer of hope for renewal. Today, is the first day of the rest of my life. Deborah Ann Tornillo Author, 36 Days Apart Copyright© […]

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Support Groups Can Help Those Bereaved by Suicide

Posted on February 21, 2010 - by Barbara Rubel

But I didn’t say goodbye! That’s all I could think about when I learned that my dad killed himself.  Friends said that he “was no longer in pain,” and that he loved me. But I didn’t say goodbye and those words weighed heavy on my grieving heart. Approximately 4.5 million Americans became bereaved by suicide in the last 25 years with 199,800 bereaved added in 2006 (AAS, 2009). Sadly, I became a part of that statistic in 1986 when my father killed himself while I was in the hospital awaiting the birth of my triplets. I personally found that attending […]

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Poem: It Hurts

Posted on February 20, 2010 - by Deborah Tornillo

Has it hurt me physically? Yes, it has. If I could do it all over again, would I? Yes, I would. Would I have let someone else do it? No, I couldn’t. Did I comfort you in your time of need? Yes, I did. Could I have done it better? Yes, I could have. Has it hurt me mentally? Yes, it has. Deborah Ann Tornillo Author, 36 Days Apart Copyright© 2010 http://www.deborahtornillo.com

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God Doesn’t ‘Zap’ Those Who Express Emotion

Posted on February 20, 2010 - by Kevin Quiles

In my twelve years as spiritual counselor, I have seen men and women choke back their feelings while simultaneously defending the Almighty who supposedly allowed the devastating events to take place. Unfortunately, both smothering of emotions and advocating for the divine have serious consequences. In this snippet of an article, I propose that emotional congestion in the name of God comes at an enormous price—freezing the flow of grief, relational complications, and an unfulfilled sense of self. An opposite course, namely, embracing all facets of emotional labor pains as part of a healing passageway, adds to personal and interpersonal growth. Contrary […]

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My Parents’ House

Posted on February 19, 2010 - by Pamela Gabbay

Today, I drove past my parents’ old house.  I was in my hometown visiting my best friend from high school and she needed to make a quick stop at her sister’s house.  Her sister happens to live right around the corner from my family’s old home.  As we drove toward her sister’s, my friend ever so casually mentioned that we would be driving down my parents’ old street. I didn’t have a lot of time to react.  It has been quite a few years since I have been by the old place, and I figured that I would be fine […]

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Have I Failed?

Posted on February 18, 2010 - by Deborah Tornillo

My mother and father passed away in 2008. They had Alzheimer’s and they died 36 days apart of each other. At the time of their diagnosis, their neurologist told me that my father had years left in his life and that my mother would only make it another year and a half. My father died first. My father was at Stage 4 of the disease. He had moderate cognitive decline. When he died, a piece of my heart and my soul died with him. Several months prior to my father’s passing, my mother reached Stage 7 of the disease – […]

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Child-Loss: When the Heavens Go Dark

Posted on February 18, 2010 - by John French

Out beyond the silence of eternal night, within the void of voiceless echoes, between the folds of dark and light. In somber streams of starlight. In the waves of ebb and flow. Heaven exceeds eternal planes. Though, it remains closer then we know. There was a time when the stars were a great source of inspiration and contentment for me. Their slow, predictable progression seemed to calm some of the anxiety brought on by a chaotic world. The incomprehensible distances and incalculable numbers were a humbling reminder of my insignificance. While at the same time, the vastness and complexity made me […]

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