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Powerlessness of Death

Posted on October 28, 2009 - by admin

By Mary Zemites One of the most distressing aspects surrounding the death of someone we love is the overwhelming sense of powerlessness. The realization that we could not prevent this death and will not be able to prevent the future deaths of other people we love is profound. Independence, productivity and being in control are very highly regarded in our society. In reality, we are all powerless against the inevitably of death. But somehow we often don’t fully come to terms with this until we experience the loss of someone dear to us. The word “powerless” has many synonyms – […]

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Checking Your Support System

Posted on October 28, 2009 - by Harriet Hodgson

Grief creates an immediate need for support.  My husband and I relied on a family support system – our elder daughter, brother and sister-in-law, and father-in-law – for many years.  All of these family members lived in town and were only minutes away.  Then our lives changed. In February of 2007, our daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash.  Two days later, my father-in-law died.  Last summer, the remaining relatives moved to Wisconsin.  Others are going to move there as well.  Support was disappearing right before our eyes, and we felt very alone. Apparently other people […]

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Suicide Survivorship: How To Resolve Your Guilt

Posted on October 27, 2009 - by Ellen Gerst

No one can know the depth of despair to which a person may sink upon contemplation of suicide. Possibly, the black hole in which one finds him/herself gets deeper and darker as the days go by. Soon, even the smallest sliver of light is blocked from view. And then — instead of being frightening — the darkness becomes comforting and safe. It cradles and protects the person from all outside forces – from life and all the decisions to be made, both large and small. Eternal sleep and “supposed” freedom from worry beckon the suicide until he/she can no longer […]

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Bernie S. Siegel, MD: Health and Healing

Posted on October 27, 2009 - by admin

Dr. Bernie Siegel is a world renowned physician and leader in the field of health and healing, who has written numerous groundbreaking books. His latest book Buddy’s Candle is a great healing aid for grieving children dealing with the loss of a loved one. It takes the reader on a journey through life and death with the promise of forever. Bernie continues to assist in the breaking of new ground in the field of healing and personally struggling to live the message of kindness and love. His web site is www.BernieSiegelMD.com.

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Poem: Death’s Reality

Posted on October 27, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

I wrote this poem over and over in my head for almost two years. I did not write it down on paper until this past August. I was with my mother, holding her hand, staring into her eyes and telling her that I loved her and will never stop loving her and will never forget her. Mom was minutes away from dying, and although I tried preparing myself for her death by reading everything I possibly could about the process of dying, it did not soften the blow. Death’s Reality Decrease in blood pressure… Who will stop the pain As […]

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Poem: Breathe

Posted on October 27, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

Child, breathe deeply again Time does not heal. It is how you use time To grieve That helps you heal. Dear, God Grief intrudes upon My daily existence. Robbing me of my breath. I have none left. Child, breathe deeply again Gradually it will fade Allowing you to accept The finality of death And, allowing you to Attend to life’s changes. Deborah Ann Tornillo Author, “36 Days Apart” http://www.authorsden.com/dtornillo

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Poem: For George

Posted on October 27, 2009 - by Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn

I received this astonishing poem in the mail, along with a letter from the author, Robin Standish, in 2005. Unfortunately, it got lost in the pile of papers on my desk. A couple of weeks ago, I was cleaning up (finally), and came across it. I can’t tell you how moved I was, how blown away by what Standish captured, about early sibling loss. Standish was 7 when her 2-year-old brother, George, died of leukemia. She didn’t even know he was sick. Or rather, her parents had neglected to define what was wrong with him. She assumed, as she writes […]

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Poem: I Salute You

Posted on October 26, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

I Salute You A little boy Taken by the hand, His father said You will be a soldier, A man. Sent away To a distant land, He fought with courage To prove to his father He can. He flew with the best, Killed with Tears in his eyes, Until the day He too would die. Far away, Killed in action, Body never recovered His father’s words Never delivered. Son, I’m proud of you, For the sacrifices you made, As a soldier, A man, I salute you. Deborah Tornillo Author, 36 Days Apart http://www.authorsden.com/dtornillo

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Siblings of Military Casualties Offered Help

Posted on October 26, 2009 - by Ami Neiberger-Miller

A sibling relationship should be a lifelong friendship, but for those losing a brother or sister who served in the military, the pain and sorrow can be overwhelming. Adult siblings left behind must contend with their own grief and shock, adjust to an altered family structure and assume new responsibilities. To help brothers and sisters cope, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, TAPS held its first weekend retreat for siblings in 2008. The retreat was modeled after the organization’s regional seminars, which help surviving family members process their grief reactions, develop coping skills, and establish support networks. “Siblings often experience […]

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Accepting Loss as a Fact of Life

Posted on October 25, 2009 - by Anne Hamilton

When I was sixteen, my best friend was killed in a car accident. My boyfriend was driving the car. They were going to the movies on a summer afternoon two weeks after their high school graduation. I felt that my life was smashed head on in that one moment, just like their car had been smashed by a tractor trailer when a slippery road in a summer rain threw them into the oncoming lane of a highway. My friend Curtis was thrown from the car and died immediately. My boyfriend had a hip injury and recovered fully. I think of […]

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