I’ve made a lot of condolence calls this week. A friend lost her father. Another’s cousin has lost her battle with breast cancer. A playwright’s mother has moved in and my friend is her primary caregiver. She had to quit her job. A friend who’s a writer is finding trouble finding hope.
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by Stuart A. Kaplowitz, MFT In suffering any type of physical injury, there is a certain amount of pain that will be endured as the body attempts to heal itself. Stubbing a toe might lead to a few minutes of pain, while breaking an ankle might take the body many weeks or even months to recover. The word pain is typically used in association with a physical injury. But what about the pain we experience in losing someone close to us — emotional pain?? When we lose someone or something (a relationship, item, etc.) from our lives, our bodies attempt […]
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Life is funny. Sometimes the most rebellious of us, the teen gone bad, the unwed mother of three, the Harley brother in leather and bandanas and lots of tattoos becomes the best caregiver, the most thoughtful son–or daughter. Why? Sometimes those who travel counter to society have the most tender souls. Sometimes the battle with their personal demons have made them even more thoughtful, more real and more alive. They may wrap the package in a prickly covering, but that doesn’t mean there’s not a teddy bear underneath. Our lives are like boomerangs. For some of us, we fling ourselves as […]
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In the first few years of your grief journey after the loss of a child, you will experience so many different emotions, all of which are normal and not “weird” as some people may say to you. There are five phases of grief (some experts use different names for each phase, but in the end they are all the same). As I write about each, I’ll tell you how I personally fit into each one. Keep in mind that once you leave one phase and move on to another, it does not mean you will not return to that phase […]
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My mother and father’s pictures are everywhere in my home. Every morning when I awake – I see them and say “Good morning.” Throughout the day I talk with my mother and father. I share with them my tears that I still have for them, because I miss them so very much. I share with them the joyful moments of my day and yes, the angry ones. I know, with all my heart my parents would not want me to grieve for them. I can hear my father this very moment saying to me “quit making a big deal of […]
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Last night, I slept in the middle of our king-size bed. It took me two years to do that. For 55 years, I shared that bed with my husband. He never walked on water. Sometimes we broke that cardinal rule and went to sleep angry. But far more often, we embraced that bed, and each other, with tremendous joy, grateful we found mates that showed love, kindness, consideration, and selflessness on an almost daily basis. How unusual is that? So often people reach out their hand when they hear I’m a widow and say, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” […]
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By Beth Seyda – I usually love Halloween, seeing all the little kids in their cute costumes struggling to hold up their trick or treat bags and trying to say “trick or treat”. But that first Halloween was only a couple of weeks after our infant son, Dylan, had died and I knew I could not be at home to give out treats this year. I felt bad about it, but I knew that I would be in no shape to see so many kids. So my husband, Mark, and I decided to see an early movie and have dinner. […]
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In 1968 my brother, Danny who was 19 years old was killed in Vietnam. At the time, I was 15 years old. His helicopter was shot down and according to eye witnesses exploded in mid-air and then landed on the banks of a river. Because of heavy, enemy ground fire his body was never recovered. To date, he is listed as MIA (Missing in Action). After the loss of my brother several searches were conducted over the years, but no body was recovered. My mother and father lived the remainder of their years grieving deeply, but never gave up hope […]
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The passing of a loved one can mark a difficult crossroads. Those of us left behind often feel confused, fearful, sad, and even incomplete. In the midst of this grief, some experience dreams where a loved one appears to us, correctly predicting their own death, urging us to carry a message to a relative or simply offering us healing and the chance to say goodbye. Now comes a new edition of Open to Hope writer Luellen Hoffman’s book, Special Dream: Personal Accounts After the Death of a Loved One (Crossroad, an imprint of The Crossroad Publishing Company, September 2009). It’s […]
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I recently read a book called: Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road, by Neil Peart. Peart is the lyricist and world renowned drummer for the Canadian rock band, Rush. His daughter Selena, age 19, died on August 10, 1997, as a result of a car accident and his common-law wife, Jackie died on June 20, 1998, of cancer. Peart became a bereaved parent and a young widower in the space of ten months. One year after the death of his daughter, he embarked on a 55,000-mile, fourteen-month journey on his motorcycle across Canada, the United States and Mexico. He […]
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Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.
