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Giving Back to Friends Who Helped You Grieve

Posted on August 21, 2009 - by admin

Grief is isolating.  You may become so isolated that you are barely aware of your friends’ help.  Sure, you remember their phone calls and sympathy cards, but you may not see the scope of their caring.  As I discovered, the support of friends is necessary for grief reconciliation. On a Friday night in February of 2007, my elder daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash.  On Sunday, just two days later, my father-in-law succumbed to pneumonia.  I sobbed when I saw their photos on the same page of the newspaper.  Friends saw the photos, read the […]

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Does Grief End? Being Available for ‘Turning Points’

Posted on August 21, 2009 - by Pamela Prime

After my son’s death, there were many turning points along the way in my grief. I could not make them happen all by myself, but I could make myself available.  At each turning point, there was a sense of Divine Grace; it was only in quiet reflection or in sharing the experience with a good listener that I could say “thank you.” I remember well the first time I could look at my son’s picture without breaking down in sobs.  His suicide was shocking, terrifying and beyond heart-breaking. That memorable day, I sat on our sofa and looked at a photograph of his […]

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Does Grief End? Turning the Corner Takes Work, Faith, Patience

Posted on August 21, 2009 - by Sharon Greenlee

People who come for grief therapy often ask, “How long does this sadness last?” “Does it ever get better?”  “Will I ever wake up some morning and feel something different than what I’m feeling now?”  Though the questions are usually the same, the answers are not! I have learned from listening to others and from working through my own grief experiences, that length of grief time, changes in feelings, and turning the grief corners not only vary from person to person, but also vary for a single individual, depending upon the grief situation. After the death of my mother, as an eleven-year-old, I was stuck […]

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What’s Wrong With My Underwear? Adjusting to Aging and Grieving

Posted on August 21, 2009 - by Stan Goldberg

I was rummaging around in a kitchen cabinet while my wife was in the living room. Since both of us have hearing problems, when we speak to each other in different rooms, our conversations can become the basis for a sit-com on aging. “Is that old wok under here?” I asked. Wendy came into the kitchen looking bewildered and said, “Why do you think something’s wrong with my underwear?” But what if we couldn’t laugh at our miscommunications as something that injects humor into our lives? What if I became angry because I thought my wife didn’t listen closely enough? […]

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Growing Through Grief

Posted on August 21, 2009 - by Fran Dorf

Around 1:30 in the afternoon, Dec. 7, 1993 – by coincidence, Pearl Harbor Day – I put my three-year-old son, Michael, down for his nap, went to my office, turned on the intercom, and began to work on my third novel. The intercom was silent, and I wrote steadily. Around 4 p.m., mildly concerned that Mikey was sleeping too long, I went to wake him up. I found him in the midst of a silent, deadly seizure.  I started to scream, my husband came running, and although we didn’t really know it then, we had arrived with our baggage at […]

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Grandmother Wants to Commemorate Deceased Grandson’s Birthday

Posted on August 21, 2009 - by admin

Deborah writes in: My infant grandson passed away on the day of his birth, and the anniversary is coming. Do you have any suggestions on how to celebrate this day? Mom and Dad are sooo sad.  Thank you for your help. Monica Novak, author of The Good Grief Club, responds: Dear Deborah: I am so very sorry for the loss of your grandson.  The year following the death of a baby takes a family through such a wide range of emotions, often culminating on the first anniversary of that death, that it can be difficult to decide how to spend the […]

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Caregivers Struggle When Parents Age

Posted on August 21, 2009 - by admin

Most families of our generation don’t talk much about feelings, but when our parent is aging or ill, many emotional issues arise for both the primary caregiver and for other family members. It can be a very challenging time for everyone. My neighbor recently experienced this when her mother in New York state broke her hip in a fall. She and her siblings had very different emotional reactions to the crisis. Some were “too busy” to help while others implied that they couldn’t cope. Kathy was the adult child who was able and willing to take charge of the situation,  […]

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Reconciling Grief: Take All the Time You Need

Posted on August 21, 2009 - by Harriet Hodgson

Mourners want grief to end.  Some try to rush their mourning, only to find it cannot be rushed.  According to The Talmud, “Who forces time is pushed back by time; who yields to time finds time is on his side.”  The process of reconciliation – -making the deceased part of yourself and your life — is a slow one.  It’s even slower it you have suffered multiple losses. Colin Murray Parkes writes about time in “All in the End is Harvest.”  He says, “Death may happen in a moment, but grief takes time; and that time is both an ordeal […]

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‘I Just Lost My Son!’ Mother Reaches Out for Help

Posted on August 21, 2009 - by admin

Tami writes in: I just lost my 18-year-old son in a motorcycle accident….I am so devastated!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can someone help me??????? He is my life! Dr. Gloria Horsley, founder of www.opentohope.com, responds: Dear Tami: Our hearts go out to you. My own son was killed in a fiery crash  when he was 17 and I know the shock and pain you are feeling right now. Somehow you get through doing all the things you have to do after such an accident – there are many decisions to make that you don’t feel you can handle but you can and will. If […]

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Wife’s Death by Suicide Complicates Man’s Grieving

Posted on August 21, 2009 - by admin

Question from Nancy: My new partner and I have experienced much joy since finding each other. Both of us have been previously married, and both of us have children. Mine are 21 and 25, while his are 24, 31 and 34. My partner and his children have not yet held a memorial for their wife/mother 4 years after her suicidal death. They have not removed her personal items from the home. They have told everyone she died of illness not suicide. I want to help us to become the couple we deserve to be, but this death hangs over – […]

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