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Holding On and Letting Go

Posted on July 11, 2009 - by Monica Novak

By Beth Seyda – After my infant son, Dylan, died I started jotting down various things and scenes I recalled from our experience. I wanted to write about these memories not only to capture the details of Dylan’s life and death as a personal keepsake, but I also wanted to send it to our health care team. I wanted them to learn from our experience. Writing our story felt good, it was therapeutic for me. I wanted to share the parental aspects as well as the medical. Writing allowed me to release all this “stuff”. Afterward, I felt different. For […]

A final farewell…

Posted on July 10, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

As most of the world viewed Michael Jackson’s funeral on TV, it was truly a larger than life experience for a larger than life entertainer. It is really strange when a celebrity dies in this country. I think people finally understand, “Hey we really all are human. Death is going to happen to each one of us.” It is such a big deal to us because of the perceived joy and excitement they have brought to our lives. But here is a news flash: celebrities are just normal people who have been given an extraordinary talent that they have used […]

Lessons Learned in Grief Loss

Posted on July 9, 2009 - by admin

by Risa Mason-Cohen English actress Natasha Richardson was only 45 when she suffered a devastating brain injury resulting from what appeared to be a minor fall during a beginners ski lesson, leaving behind a husband and two sons. A client of mine lost her closest lifelong friend to a drunken driving accident only seconds after they said goodnight at a mutual friend’s house party. A man in North Charleston woke suddenly to the smell of smoke and was forced to throw his beloved dog from a third floor apartment building in the hope of saving the animal’s life. A woman […]

Not a Flower

Posted on July 7, 2009 - by Alice Wisler

There was a day when the sun ceased to shine. You may have missed it; it didn’t make the headlines of any national paper. February 2, 1997, to most, was only Groundhog Day. For me, it was nothing as trite as whether the furry creature did or did not see his shadow. Forget the promise of spring, what did it matter now? My life as I dreamed it stopped when my four-year-old laid lifeless in my arms. How I remember those early months after his death. I wanted to be like my Victorian ancestors and wear black, even a veil. […]

Holden Caufield: Still relevant?

Posted on July 7, 2009 - by Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn

First off, I love J.D. Salinger and all of his books. So I was surprised when, as my step-kids went through that particular reading phase in high school when they were assigned Catcher in the Rye, they reported that they kind of hated it. Whaaaat? One big problem, they said, was that they couldn’t really relate to Holden, the teenage, trash-talking, car-wreck of a main character. As I thought about it, it made sense. I mean, the language is dated. Holden’s lifestyle–tony prep school, money, a lot of freedom, doesn’t resemble the way most kids live. (Unless you watch “NYC […]

Are You the Black Sheep Sibling? The Unlikely Caregiver?

Posted on July 7, 2009 - by Carol O'Dell

Life is funny. Sometimes the most rebellious of us, the teen gone bad, the unwed mother of three, the Harley brother in leather and bandanas and lots of tattoos who become the best caregiver, the most thoughtful son–or daughter. Why? Sometimes those who travel counter to society have the most tender souls. Sometimes the battle with their personal demons have made them even more thoughtful, more real and more alive. They may wrap the package in a prickly covering, but that doesn’t mean there’s not a teddy bear underneath. Our lives are like boomerangs. For some of us, we fling […]

Corporate Department Takes Special Care to Welcome Back Bereaved Mom Co-Worker

Posted on July 7, 2009 - by Monica Novak

By Monica Novak – I received a call one day from Pat, the Share support group facilitator and perinatal bereavement coordinator at the local hospital, telling me that she and I had been invited to speak to one of the departments at a nearby corporation. Diana, the manager who had contacted Pat, told her that one of her employees, a woman named Michelle, had recently delivered her firstborn child, a stillborn daughter, and was about to return to work after a six-week maternity leave. Not only was Michelle an employee, she was a dear friend of Diana’s and everyone else […]

A beautiful sunrise…

Posted on July 6, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

My Dad was always one to get up in the morning and when I say morning, we are talking the 5 AM-5:15AM variety. His routine usually consisted of working at the kitchen table, shaving, and sometimes sitting and admiring the dawn of a new day. I never understood why sitting there seemed so peaceful until I became an adult. Everyone needs that recharge time whether it is in the morning, or at night. It’s different for everybody. It is a couple of moments of peace and solitude during the day and I have learned to cherish it as an adult. […]

Does Grief End? Turning the Corner After Mother’s Death

Posted on July 6, 2009 - by Gemini Adams

By Gemini Adams, MNFSH — It took me a very long time to integrate the loss of my mother. Perhaps this was because she died so prematurely, at just 48 years old. She was still a young person in the eyes of many. As for me, at 21, I was even younger. We had only just learned how to become friends, having battled through the high’s and lows of my teenage years. Just as we had come to see each other as allies, as women sharing similar challenges and interests, she was snatched away. It wasn’t unexpected. Mom died from […]

Lifting the Veil: Gloom Ends at a Wedding

Posted on July 5, 2009 - by Michele Neff Hernandez

By Michele Neff Hernandez — The death of someone instrumental in our lives instantly changes our view of the world. Ordinary things are suddenly fraught with meaning, and insignificant moments become unexpectedly precious. After my husband Phil’s death I remember thinking that grief swooped in and stole my rose-colored glasses, leaving me with a pair of dark shades instead. I was quite certain that rose was no longer my color. This darker world view made every life celebration bittersweet…or sometimes just plain bitter. Movies became minefields, attending weddings became tortuous, walking down the street beside hand-holding couples made me feel […]