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Bereaved Eyes

Posted on June 17, 2009 - by Alice Wisler

“…Eyes — the windows to our soul…” She seemed so small and frail in the graduation party atmosphere. And yet this was her granddaughter’s party–a gathering of family and friends amid the festive tiki lights and streamers of tiny lanterns. High school had commenced for her granddaughter and in the late summer the youth would be ready to head out to the exciting world of college. Friends bringing congratulatory gifts were decorated in smiles and small talk. A grandmother deserved to be proud and happy at a time like this. Perhaps few outside of the immediate family could see what […]

Old Friends Never Forget

Posted on June 17, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox, A few months back I wrote about an email I received from my daughter Marcy’s first boyfriend, telling me how much he cared for Marcy. This week I received another email, from a good friend of my daughter from 25 years ago, who has been trying to find me for many years (she had only my former married last name and didn’t know I had remarried). She was finally able to get my email. She had heard about Marcy’s car accident years before and through her tears was writing to me. “Some friendships,” she said, “cannot be […]

My Father, My Hero

Posted on June 16, 2009 - by Yvonne Lancaster

When I was a little girl, I fell from our tree swing. I was gently picked up and carried into the house where Band-Aids were carefully placed on my scuffed-up knees. My tears were dried with methodic tender dabs. Through my sobs, I could hear the calming and reassuring words of my father, who we called Papa, “It’s alright, Pee Wee. You’ll be just fine. No more tears, now,” he said. This was one instance of the many rescues my father took part in throughout my girlhood years. It doesn’t seem that long ago. I was his front-seat passenger, tagging […]

Should Man Contact Parents of High School Classmate Who Died?

Posted on June 15, 2009 - by admin

Question from Al: Should I contact parents whose child, a high school friend, died 20 years ago? I feel awkward about doing this, especially at my age, mostly because she was their only child, and I don’t want to invade their lives or bring them any more grief. I am married and have children and have discussed this with my wife. Dr. Gloria Horsley responds: Dear Al, Your e-mail question really resonated with me. My son, Scott, was killed 26 years ago and as a result of Facebook my daughters have been hearing from many of their and his old […]

Man’s Girlfriend Experiencing Grief 14 Years After Mother’s Death

Posted on June 15, 2009 - by Bob Baugher

Adam writes in: My girlfriend is grieving her mother after 14 years. She lost her mother when she was 19 and now at the age of 33 is going through an intense period of grief and depression. She has said that it’s always been hard for her, but about two weeks ago her feeling became so intense that she feels she’s not able to give energy to anything else. She works long hours at her job and is able to maintain a success in her work, but she feels that she cannot do anything else. She fears that she will […]

Helping Yourself Out of Grief

Posted on June 14, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox When a child dies, the grief is intense. You become immobile. You don’t care about anything. You don’t want to think about anything except the child that you lost. Your number one priority now should be to take care of yourself. You may have other children who need you; you may have a husband who needs you; you may have a job or activities you are involved in that need your input. Grief affects the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical parts of your body. This change in your life will drain you physically and exhaust you emotionally. […]

Educating Merna

Posted on June 13, 2009 - by Alice Wisler

A few excruciating days after my four-year-old son Daniel died, I got a phone call from Merna, an elderly woman in our church. “Just think,” she said, “God needed another flower in his garden and he chose Daniel.” I felt something sour in the pit of my stomach and my swollen eyes widened in disbelief. Too numb to say a word, I let her continue, telling me I’d be fine and to carry on with my life and family. By the time I got off the phone, anger had risen within me. “God needed another flower!” a fellow-bereaved mother spat […]

Unfinished Motherhood

Posted on June 13, 2009 - by admin

By Clara Hinton When child-loss occurs, a mother goes through a difficult time of emotional turmoil and questioning. “Am I still a mother?” “Does my child still have a birthday each year, or does time stand still?” “Can the mother/child relationship continue to grow, or am I now an ‘unfinished mother’?” Losing a child often places a mother on a road that begins a lonelier journey than ever expected, one that can never really be explained. There was a beginning, but with the death of the child, there is no middle and no end. Everything seems unfinished. Hopes and dreams […]

How a Daughter Helped a Dad Who Had Lost a Child

Posted on June 13, 2009 - by Clara Hinton

By Clara Hinton — I only remember two times in my life that I saw my father cry: the day he realized all of his hair was falling out at age 30, and the day my 13-year-old sister died. The sight of seeing my father slumped over on the footstool sobbing with his face in his hands after my sister’s death has remained with me for over 50 years now. The day she died, part of my father died, too. Because my sister died on June 5, Father’s Day was only a few days away, and I was worried about […]

Book Review: Sea Changes by Gail Graham

Posted on June 12, 2009 - by Abel Keogh

Ever since my late wife died, I’ve had a hard time reading fiction where the main character is a widow or widower. Though the authors try hard, most of them don’t do a good job of capturing what it’s like to lose a spouse. Oh sure, most of them do a good job describing the sense of loss and grief that accompanies the death of a spouse, but when it comes to the internal emptiness that comes with it, most of them fall short. So when I learned that Gail Graham’s latest novel, Sea Changes, was about a widow living […]