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The Good Grief Club is Born

Posted on March 12, 2009 - by Monica Novak

By Monica Novak I didn’t see it coming. None of us did. How could we? For Heidi, Tracy, Wendy, and me, it came with the words, “There’s no heartbeat.” For Dawn, Beth, and Darlene, the crushing blow was, “There?s nothing more we can do.” Miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death–these were things that happened to other people. Until they happened to us. Except for Beth and Heidi, none of us knew each other before our losses that began in 1994. One by one we were led to a monthly support group for pregnancy and infant loss at a suburban Chicago hospital where […]

Film Review: The Door in the Floor

Posted on March 11, 2009 - by Fran Dorf

Review by Fran Dorf — This 2004 film honestly examines a marriage breaking apart after child-loss. Adapted from the first (and best, in my opinion) part of John Irving’s best-selling novel, A Widow for One Year, the film is set in the affluent beach community of East Hampton, N.Y., and takes place during one critical summer in the lives of famous children’s book author and artist Ted Cole (Jeff Bridges) and his beautiful wife Marion (Kim Basinger). The Cole’s once-sweet marriage has curdled in the aftermath of the tragedy of losing their twin teenage sons in a car accident, and […]

The Good Grief Club

Posted on March 10, 2009 - by Monica Novak

by Monica Novak – I didn’t see it coming. None of us did. How could we? For Heidi, Tracy, Wendy, and me, it came with the words, “There’s no heartbeat.” For Dawn, Beth, and Darlene, the crushing blow was, “There’s nothing more we can do.” Miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death-these were things that happened to other people. Until they happened to us. Except for Beth and Heidi, none of us knew each other before our losses that began in 1994. One by one we were led to a monthly support group for pregnancy and infant loss at a suburban Chicago hospital […]

Father Recalls Son’s Suicide on the 10th Anniversary

Posted on March 10, 2009 - by admin

By Dick Loehr — You are reading this because you have lost someone to suicide or perhaps you have had suicidal thoughts yourself. I am writing this to tell you about Keith, what I have learned in these 10 years, and what I do for myself in order to keep surviving. When Keith took his life, he was a working adult, located in a city far from us. We weren’t around Keith very much. He was not in treatment for depression, and we had little understanding of depression or other brain disorders. Keith was a high achiever, well-liked by his […]

Widow Asks: Why Can’t I Cry?

Posted on March 10, 2009 - by Robert Neimeyer

Question from Phyllis: My husband of 54 years passed away one year ago and except for a few tears the night he passed away, I have not been able to shed a tear since. He was 75 years old, and had a number of physical ailments including diabetes and chronic kidney failure. He was living in a nursing home – recovering from the 5th broken bone in less than a year — when he just stopped breathing. I have gone through everything you have to do when you lose a spouse — preparations and funeral, plus the added turmoil of […]

Film Review: The Secret Life of Bees

Posted on March 10, 2009 - by Linda Pountney

By Linda Pountney — Multiple loss themes run concurrently throughout the movie The Secret Life Of Bees, based on Sue Monk Kidd’s novel, directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood. Dakota Fanning plays Lily, a guarded fourteen-year old, grief-stricken over the death of a mother she hardly remembers. A tortured soul, Lily’s father (Paul Bettany) takes his pain out on his daughter. His cruelty contributes to Lily’s imaginary world where her mother exists to nurture her. Lily embarks on a journey to uncover the truth about her mother. Her nanny Rosaleen (Jennifer Hudson) accompanies her on a trip that crosses racial boundaries during […]

11-Year-Old Son Lashes Out After Death Of Dad

Posted on March 10, 2009 - by Neil Chethik

Question from Margaret: My husband of 16 years passed away a little over 6 months ago. He was not ill, so it was shock to me and our two sons, ages 10 and 11. My husband had a temper, but never, ever laid his hands on me. Now, my 11-year-old is pushing me and hitting me, and I do not know what to do. Can you help? Neil Chethik, author of FatherLoss, responds: I’m very sorry to hear about the death of your husband, and about your son’s personality changes following it. This must be a doubly painful situation for you. I conducted […]

Everything Seems So Unreal — Coping with Unexpected Death

Posted on March 9, 2009 - by Beverly Chantalle McManus

Responding to Ten Things Every New Widow Should Know to Survive, Jean writes: I just lost my husband on 2/23/09. He passed away at the airport before taking the trip to the East Coast for the new job training. That was his first day of the new job since he was laid off last Christmas. He would have been 40 this month and we have two twin girls. They will be 1 this month as well. I don’t know what to do when I am alone. Everything seems so unreal. His mom blames everything on me. That adds more pain. […]

Is Six Months After Husband’s Death Too Soon to Begin Dating?

Posted on March 9, 2009 - by admin

Question from Mary: I lost my husband after 31 years. He literally dropped dead at work seven and a half months ago. We had been married almost 31 years and he was my soulmate. A few weeks ago, a man who I knew and met once through a social networking site started texting me and emailing me. He is separated and lonely. I look forward to his messages and I can’t help being flattered by his attention. He gives me a purpose to get up in the morning and I feel happier. At the same time, I feel a terrible […]

Let’s Go Fishing

Posted on March 9, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

One of the fondest memories I have with my Dad is the time we went fishing together. I think I was about 8 or 9 and it was one of the greatest memories I have of my Dad and I doing something fun together. Just like the good Cub Scout I was I wanted to make sure we were prepared and I kept checking the garage to make sure the fishing rods didn’t disappear that week. Those babies were going to get some action come Saturday. Now in my young brain, it felt like we got up […]