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Grief in the New Millennium

Posted on September 30, 2008 - by Mitch Carmody

By Mitch Carmody – We are now closing in on the end of the first decade of the new millennium.  Growing up, most of us baby boomers remember reading about Haley’s Comet, and we hoped to see it zoom across the night sky as an adult. When we were kids, we hadn’t seen a man land on the moon; we had only a couple of stations on our black-and-white televisions; we had telephones with party lines that you shared with neighbors; one computer filled an enormous room, and water was not sold in bottles. Boy, has the world changed. But […]

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Managing the Holidays: Tips For the Bereaved

Posted on September 29, 2008 - by Gloria Lintermans

By Gloria Lintermans & Marilyn Stolzman, Ph.D., L.M.F.T. — The holidays can be a particularly difficult time for those of us who have lost a loved one. We are used to being with our family members during this time, and now an important person is missing. The following are suggestions for managing the holidays. 1. MAKE PLANS – There may be an inclination to isolate during the holidays. But making plans for the holidays helps us cope with change and gives us some much-needed structure. Too much free time can stimulate loneliness and despair. When we make plans, we often […]

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Transplant Waiting List Nears 100,000

Posted on September 28, 2008 - by Abel Keogh

Reg Green and his family made headlines worldwide in 1994 by donating their 7-year-old son’s organs after the boy was shot in a botched robbery. Now, Reg reports, the number of Americans waiting for organs is nearing 100,000. What can you do to help?

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A Tribute To Ellie

Posted on September 26, 2008 - by John Pete

Ellie Valdez Honeyman has touched and inspired very many lives. She was one of those rare souls whom others are always happy to encounter, even if just in passing and to share a quick hello. She had a natural way of always leaving other feeling uplifted, and I know those who had the privilege of knowing her will always remember that. Ellie died earlier this week after a very courageous battle with cancer. And the tremendous number of lives she touched in her lifetime ranged from those who loved her dearly, to a large community of friends who were deeply touched reading about her brave and valiant battle with her terrible cancer which became yet another inspiring testament of just “who” she was. I met Ellie […]

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A Caregiver’s Challenge: Loving the Unlovable

Posted on September 25, 2008 - by Carol O'Dell

Caregiver relationships are as complicated as everybody else’s. Caregiving isn’t always sweet and sentimental. What happens if you need to/are asked to care give someone who has hurt you deeply? I met a woman at a book club once and her face revealed her suffering. She shared that her husband had late stage Parkinson’s and she was basically housebound and caring for him 24/7. She looked beyond exhausted. She also shared that she probably should have left him years ago. Sometimes we stay–for the kids–for the security. Because we were too chicken to leave. Now it’s too late. We need […]

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Dad Won’t Quit Pacing! What You Need to Know About Agitation and Alzheimer’s

Posted on September 25, 2008 - by Carol O'Dell

Alzheimer’s usually strikes when someone is older–a time in their life when people typically slow down. Many Alzheimer’s live on the edge–always anxious, overly alert, agitated, and sometimes mean. A common sight in a memory disorder unit, facility, or center (they can be called different names) is to see a person walking and walking. Pacing like a caged cougar. They never sit. They have a wild look in their eye. Only when you see several Alzheimer’s/dementia/Lewy Body (a Parkinson’s form of dementia) all together do you realize that your loved one isn’t the only one who does this–that it must be the […]

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How to Honor a Loved One Who Has Died

Posted on September 24, 2008 - by Diana Doyle

By Diana Doyle — Until the year 2000, my life resembled a fairy tale.  I had a loving family, husband and an adorable two-year-old daughter.  Over the next three years, what seemed impossible back then, happened to me. I lost three of the most important people in my life. My sister was killed in a car accident, leaving four little ones motherless; my mother was diagnosed and succumbed to ovarian cancer; and, most inconceivably, my previously healthy daughter, Savannah, died from a rare genetic disease. Although each death was different, the tsunami of emotions was similar.  I felt like my […]

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He Loved those Slippers — Dealing with the Belongings of Your Departed Spouse

Posted on September 22, 2008 - by Beverly Chantalle McManus

The closet full of his shirts, ties, jackets and slacks.   His well worn slippers next to his side of the bed.   His wallet and eyeglasses.   His razor and toothbrush.   The tool chest in the garage.   His tennis racket.   His harmonica collection and guitars.   His treasured complete set of vintage Beatles imports on vinyl.   All those science fiction books that fill more than half of our bookcases. What do we do with all the “stuff” that belonged to our spouse who has died? So many people stand ready to quickly offer glib advice […]

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21-Year-Old Wonders How to Deal With Pain of Mother-Loss

Posted on September 22, 2008 - by Carol O'Dell

Sally from California asks: I lost my mother two months back. I’m 21, the elder child and suddenly feel that my world has been turned upside down. I’m studying away from home and have blocked my grief out completely. But on the days it makes an appearance, the pain is unbearable. Will the pain ever reduce? Carol O’Dell, author of Mothering Mother, responds: Yes, the pain will subside, give it time. Lots of time. But also know that the grief you’re experiencing is absolutely normal. You lost your mom. You shouldn’t have lost your mom so soon. Your grief tells […]

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Beginning Again After the Loss of Parents

Posted on September 22, 2008 - by Pamela Gabbay

By Pamela Gabbay — When I was 25 years old, I learned about life and death in the same month. At the beginning of July, I had my first child, a precious baby girl. By the end of July, my 49-year-old father was dead. He was a truck driver who fell asleep at the wheel of his truck in the middle of the night. He crashed and died instantly. When he died, my world crashed in. I walked around in a stupor trying to make sense of this new, foreign world. I didn’t know what to feel. I didn’t know […]

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