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How My Holidays Evolved

Posted on December 5, 2022 - by Peggy Bell

How My Holidays Evolved I remember the first time the holidays came around after my husband’s passing. It had only been three months. My emotions were still so raw, and my mind was still trying to understand what my heart was feeling. Even though my daughters were grown, I tried to be strong for them. I didn’t want to make the holidays worse than they already were. I made the decision ahead of time that we were not going to ignore the loss, but rather keep him as a part of our holiday season. And that’s what we did. I […]

How Developmental Trauma Can Impact Grief

Posted on December 5, 2022 - by Kara Bowman

As a Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in grief and trauma, I come across many more clients who don’t realize they have experienced developmental trauma than those who recognize it in their past. Developmental trauma is fear and powerlessness felt in many, many small moments over the course of childhood, rather than in large, easily identifiable incidents, such as car accidents or rape. Developmental trauma may occur because a parent dies or leaves and isn’t available, has an alcohol, substance or rage problem and is scary, or has a mental illness and is unpredictable or unreliable. There are other […]

Losing a Loved One Makes You Grow Up

Posted on December 3, 2022 - by Ilana Estelle

Losing a Loved One The death of a loved one may leave us struggling, not always because someone has passed, but because of the problems they leave behind. When it comes to losing a loved one, it puts us into the limelight on our own mortality, particularly when it comes to the death of a parent. Where once we had a safety net, it is easy to begin to feel vulnerable. Also, we can be left with countless unresolved issues, which can leave us with many emotions, especially anger. Losing a loved one brings with it many feelings. Sometimes we […]

Wife of Gun Victim Moves Toward Healing

Posted on December 1, 2022 - by Lois Schaffer

The following is excerpted from From Bullet to Bullhorn: Stories of Advocacy Activism and Hope, by Lois Schaffer, a compilation of stories by 18 people located in various states throughout the U.S. These stories are indicative of human resilience, turning tragedies into advocacy, activism and the preservation of life. Trenelle Gabay: Brooklyn, New York: I found love. I imagined it, visualized it to come. We met. He chased me and I caught him. He peeled down walls until I started to fall in love with him. His words: “If you fall I will catch you.” He was a poet in […]

Art Brings Hope: Faces Not Forgotten

Posted on November 28, 2022 - by Lois Schaffer

The following is excerpted from From Bullet to Bullhorn: Stories of Advocacy Activism and Hope, by Lois Schaffer, a compilation of stories by 18 people located in various states throughout the U.S. These stories are indicative of human resilience, turning tragedies into advocacy, activism and the preservation of life. Christine Ilewski Huelsmann: St. Louis Missouri: On May 16, 2009, I woke up to a phone call. A close friend, Fr. Lorenzo (Larry) Rosebaugh, OMI (a Missionary Oblate Immaculate priest) had been gunned down in Guatemala. There was no apparent motive. The car he was driving with three other priests was […]

Son’s Death Inspires Activism

Posted on November 25, 2022 - by Lois Schaffer

The following is excerpted from From Bullet to Bullhorn: Stories of Advocacy Activism and Hope, by Lois Schaffer, a compilation of stories by 18 people located in various states throughout the U.S. These stories are indicative of human resilience, turning tragedies into advocacy, activism and the preservation of life. Ron and Norma Molen, Salt Lake City, Utah. whose son died from gun violence writes: Our son, Steven was murdered on April 23, 1992, on the fourteenth floor of the graduate dormitory at Indiana University. Steven was dating a graduate student who was being stalked by a German ex-boyfriend who was […]

A Different Approach to Holiday Grief

Posted on November 21, 2022 - by John Pete

Holiday Grief is Hard Holiday Grief is Hard. It just is. Emotions are heightened, and some grievers find themselves shunning holidays, or perhaps sitting sadly by and muddling through. But this does not work well for many grievers who often end up feeling even worse after the holiday has come and gone. If this sounds familiar, perhaps another approach will works better you this year such as finding special ways of remembering, honoring — and including — lost loved ones. You could start by setting-up a special area for candles representing lost loved ones that you light throughout the holiday […]

Giving Myself Away: The Meaning of Thanksgiving

Posted on November 18, 2022 - by Harriet Hodgson

Giving Myself Away Thanksgiving is one of America’s favorite holidays. The dinner menu varies from culture to culture, and family to family, yet the idea of giving thanks crosses all boundaries. Until I changed, November was a difficult month, a testing month, and I wasn’t sure I’d pass the test. Two family members died in November. My elder daughter was born on Thanksgiving. While I was in labor, I smelled roasting turkey and herb-flavored stuffing and fragrant gravy. I wanted Thanksgiving dinner and couldn’t have it. How frustrating. Years passed, and Thanksgiving became a dual celebration, giving thanks and my […]

How Holidays Have Changed Since My Daughter Died

Posted on November 16, 2022 - by Brian Smith

This Christmas will be the eighth Christmas since my daughter Shayna passed away at the age of just fifteen years old. While Shayna was (and is) special in many ways, she was a typical kid because she loved Christmas. In our family, the holidays and birthdays were all bundled together. Our wedding anniversary was in early November, followed closely by my older daughter’s birthday in late November, Thanksgiving, Christmas, then Shayna’s birthday in early January. She couldn’t get enough of the late fall and early winter celebrations. When Shayna passed away, it changed everything about our lives. Holidays and birthdays […]

Longing for Normal Holiday Season

Posted on November 16, 2022 - by Nina Impala

Longing for Normal Recently, I was reading a book about longing, and it stirred up a lot of feelings. What does longing mean to you? At this time of year when we are headed straight for the holiday season, there is so much I long for. I long to see my mom and dad sitting at the table with us. I long for Mom’s amazing holiday food, cooking together, her laughter, her sharing time with my granddaughter. Mom, I wish you could see her, get hugs and kisses from my little angel. Longing is a quiet sadness that we feel, […]