Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it difficult for men to look for support, and harder again to accept it. Men are so often silent, solitary mourners who immerse themselves in activity and private, symbolic rituals. They feel profoundly, but often can’t express the depth of their loss.
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No one likes to think about illness and death, when we are well, we feel invincible and there is nothing that can prepare us for the shock and devastation of a terminal diagnosis. The knowledge that we can no longer take our lives or the lives we share with our loved ones for granted takes away our ability to plan for the future and removes hope from our lives. When a loved one becomes terminally ill, we grieve in anticipation of their death, we grieve for the loss of them in our lives and we grieve for our own mortality.
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Grief and loss is a multifaceted counselling field based on the loss of someone or something. “Grief is our response to loss, particularly the death of a loved one. Grief can affect our thoughts, feelings, behaviours and beliefs, and our relationships with others. Many people experience feelings of sadness and anxiety. The experience of grief can sometimes feel wave-like; a person may feel that their grief is behind
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What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we have about opening ourselves to all this pain? Because, let?s face it, it?s hard down there, in the land of grieving where all those emotions toss us around like a cork on a stormy sea.
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When we lose a loved one to death, it seems like everyone has a word to share. Regardless of the circumstances or the difficulty of the loss, each person has a perspective on what can be said that is helpful. Unfortunately, sometimes things are said with good intentions that actually prove unhelpful. Sometimes words can even prove harmful. Though sincere, some things should never be said to a person grieving over the loss of a loved one or close friend. Some common things that are better not said include the following statements. They are better off. This ignores the person’s […]
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Young people need as much time to grieve after the death of someone close, whether they show it or not. The most common issue for a parent is that the child doesn’t seem to be distressed so they don’t want to upset them. Children are in a world where they are used to not having control over things and therefore often accept things quicker that doesn’t mean that it is ok with them though. Their feelings can be hidden from people, the child often watches the grown up to see how they are ?supposed to react. It is a very […]
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Why You? And now, dear Friend, why you for the blizzards of life that temporarily whip off the blossoms and fruit? Because God loves you! He wants to strengthen you so you can be His special ambassador to carry to others His message of hope to a struggling world so in need of comfort and love. If you can see your sorrow as a gift from God (yes, I know this sounds impossible!) then I believe it helps the healing process. I tried to see Chuck’s death as his legacy to the world, and that God appointed me his executor […]
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My greatest anxiety for weeks after my son’s death was his salvation. It haunted me. But two dear editor friends within hours of each other quoted this same verse, and I accepted it as a sign from my Father that my mind is forever at rest on this matter: “Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” (Genesis 18:25). Of course He will! When we lose a loved one, we must learn to say, “It is finished,” and know that God will rightly judge. Too, some presume to know who is saved and who is lost. Because Chuck […]
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On December 16, 1976, our oldest son came home for the Christmas holidays, got the shotgun and went to the adjacent woods. At 7:10 p.m. we heard him scream and then shoot himself to death. Four months later I wrote a booklet titled Grief which went into a world-wide ministry. The booklet is now out of print and I offer it to you, dear reader, in God’s name and grace. May it help give you peace in a world that has become very confused and sad. In Loving Memory of our son Chuck and in thanksgiving for our sons Richard, […]
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Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mix of emotions experienced when we are living in expectation of loss and grieving because of it. Anticipatory Grief is particularly relevant to those who have received a terminal diagnosis and for those who love and care for them.
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Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.
