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Hope Can Be Learned

Posted on September 8, 2022 - by Carol Smith

This is an excerpt from Crossing the River: Seven Stories That Saved My Life, a Memoir (Abrams Press, 2021), by Carol Smith. This is a book about trauma and grief. But it’s also a book about love, about living, about persistence and joy. It’s about reinventing, finding purpose, and discovering strength you didn’t know you had until you were called upon to use it. Every one of us fears there is something we could not survive. For me, it was the death of my only child when he was seven years old. He died suddenly, during what was shaping up […]

After My Husband’s Death: Remembering is Grieving

Posted on September 6, 2022 - by Peggy Bell

Living with the loss of a spouse is painful and sometimes even debilitating. It’s so difficult to move forward from such a heartache. It’s especially difficult when the death is unexpected. The grief journey can be brutal. It can bring feelings of sadness, anger, depression, guilt, and disbelief. Letting go and saying goodbye to a spouse is something none of us want to do when we are happily married. Personally, it took a toll on me emotionally and physically at first. I couldn’t accept that he was gone or that I had become his widow. It took almost two years […]

Theresa’s Story: The Surprise of Suicide

Posted on September 6, 2022 - by John Beerman

Theresa’s Story I was terrified. Theresa was missing! My precious three-year-old daughter was missing. The daughter with frizzy curly hair that covered her head in an afro-like blond bonnet. Her mother was grocery shopping and left me to supervise Theresa. I turned on a sports event for just a minute to catch the score, and then I got up to hold her, but she was gone. A frantic search through every bedroom, under every bed, in the garage, and in the yard. We lived in a safe and caring neighborhood across from the University of Houston campus in Clear Lake, […]

The Grief of Returning

Posted on September 6, 2022 - by Colleen Friesen

The Grief of Returning After several years living in Abbotsford, BC, my husband, my sons and I stuffed ourselves and our suitcases into our little Sunfire and set off to embark upon a new adventure. We wove our way out of the Fraser Valley and onto the Coquihalla highway, bursting with hope and anticipation at everything that lay ahead. If there was any regret over the memories, experiences, home, family and life we were leaving behind, we paid it little attention. That is the way of life. We move from day to day, situation to situation, opportunity to opportunity. We […]

Believing in Magical Thoughts

Posted on August 31, 2022 - by Mary-Frances O'Connor

Believing in Magical Thoughts A few years ago, an older colleague of mine passed away. I spent some time with his widow in the months afterward. As a prominent sleep researcher, her husband had traveled quite often to attend academic conferences. Over dinner one night, she shook her head as she told me it just did not feel like he was gone. She was believing in magical thoughts. It felt as though her husband was just away on another trip and would walk through their door again at any minute. We hear this kind of statement quite often from those who […]

Welcome to the Dark Side of Grief

Posted on August 28, 2022 - by Gail Norwood

Welcome to the Dark Side of Grief “If only you knew the power of the Dark Side.” ~ Darth Vader These ominous words portend a foreboding presence. Power and darkness come together to create a daunting force. It is a force I wish I had never known. It is a force that robbed me of my very spirit. It’ss a force that dominated my life for months – and years – that followed my husband’s death. More than three years would pass before I would even begin to feel a desire to live again. Until then, I found the thundering […]

How Child-Loss Feels: A ‘Fugue of Grief’

Posted on August 28, 2022 - by Carol Smith

This is an excerpt from Crossing the River: Seven Stories That Saved My Life, a Memoir (Abrams Press, 2021), by Carol Smith I did not go to my son Christopher’s school the day the nurse came to speak. Instead, I lay fetal-like on his bed, my face pressed to his sheets. The trace scents of crayons and Band-Aids, mud and baseball leather, kept me breathing. I squeezed my eyes shut. Images clicked by like a reel in his View-Master: Christopher, riding a therapy horse, showing off his “tricks,” his arms sticking straight out, his head thrown back, laughing. Christopher, hiding […]

The Power of Being with Others in Grief

Posted on August 22, 2022 - by Judy Lipson

Like a Warm Blanket I was fortunate to attend and present at the 45th Compassionate Friends National Conference in Houston, TX, at the beginning of August 2022. Being with others in grief, especially others who had lost siblings, felt like coming home and being hugged by a warm blanket. Many emotions bubbled to the surface that I had kept dormant for decades. For silenced years about my beloved sisters Margie and Jane, the freedom and security to be open about my grief, and hearing my thoughts articulated and validated by my fellow bereaved siblings felt like a butterfly, the symbol […]

What I Didn’t Lose When My Brother Died

Posted on August 22, 2022 - by Erin Leigh Nigh

Siblings are Forever The relationship we share with our siblings can be the longest-lasting relationship we will ever have. If you’re an older sibling, you’ve likely known your brother or sister since their birth. If you’re a younger sibling, they’ve been there your entire life. There’s a good chance we might experience more life events and changes with our siblings than with anyone else. Since I am the oldest child in my family and was five years old when I first became a sibling, I remember both being an only child and the birth of each of my three siblings. […]

When Loss Strikes Early and Often

Posted on August 22, 2022 - by Skye Page

Death and Dying: Something I Know Well I remember sitting in class in college and feeling like I was absolutely thriving. I loved the content, our discussions, and the best part was that I already knew most of it. The class was a prerequisite for Child Life and was doubly labeled as a Nursing class. Its name? “Death and Dying.” When I told people I was taking this course, it was always very amusing to watch their faces scrunch up or flinch, and then the “what???” comment followed. Believe it or not, this was one of my favorite classes. If […]