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Grief and My High School Reunion

Posted on August 22, 2022 - by Colleen Friesen

An Exciting Opportunity “Come on, it’ll be fun!” my best friend texted. Though I couldn’t hear her voice, I knew she was bursting with excitement at the prospect of us attending our 40-year high school reunion together. “Let’s go!” she encouraged. With a smile, I let her excitement catch the tinder of my reservations to a reluctant smolder. “I was actually planning a trip home around that time anyway. I am sure I could make it work.” “Woohoo!” she burst out, her eagerness pouncing on this opportunity with gusto. “I’m so excited!” “Really? I wasn’t sure,” I responded with a […]

Finding ‘Great Things’ in Disaster

Posted on August 22, 2022 - by Nathan Peterson

Finding ‘Great Things’ in Disaster On September 2nd, 2012, I saw a tall man with a priest collar at Aldi. When he passed me, my spirit kind of jumped – like “notice this guy”. A few seconds later he came back and asked, “are you born again?” “I’m sorry, what?” “Are you a Christian?” I said yes. He said “I thought so. I felt like I was supposed to come back and tell you, God’s about to do great things with you.” I said “Really?” He said “Yes. Be very attentive.” I thanked him and he walked away. This was […]

‘It Just Is’: Accepting Grief as it Comes

Posted on August 21, 2022 - by Nathan Peterson

Two nights ago, Olivia slept through the entire night, and the other three kids were at grandma’s. That may be the first full night of sleep we’ve had since Olivia’s birth: 400 days of sleep deprivation. Yesterday I felt superhuman. For about an hour. Then I went to put my new powers to work, and it happened. The oh-so-familiar battle. I may have been naive to think all I needed was sleep, and then I’d be “back on track”. I’d be productive and efficient and strong and sharp. I’d finish all the unfinished things. All the things my “true self” […]

The Many Losses of COVID: A Survey About Moving Ahead

Posted on August 20, 2022 - by Bob Baugher

The Many Losses of COVID As humans, loss is something we all experience. One way to make sense of this is to look at a number of different types of loss. Make a copy of this list of 42 losses that could be related to the Covid pandemic. Then, place an X in the box next to each loss that you have experienced as a result of the pandemic during 2020-2022. Check the Loss Box ☐ Loss of the world as I knew it ☐ Loss of finances ☐ Loss of touch—handshakes, hugs, kisses ☐ Loss of job ☐ Loss […]

‘I’m Scared My Daughter Will Die’

Posted on August 19, 2022 - by Nathan Peterson

Fear is the Enemy I’m scared my daughter will die. I’m scared I’ll never amount to anything. I’m scared my kids will be embarrassed of me. I’m scared I’ll get sick and not be able to take care of my family. I’m scared I’ll be forgotten. I know I’m not the only one. So many of us are scared to the point of paralysis. Ironically, this paralysis is exactly what brings our list of scary scenarios into being. Fear is the real enemy, not the scenarios. I believe the greatest battle I’m fighting, and my generation and my culture is […]

Posttraumatic Growth? When Loss Has Meaning

Posted on August 11, 2022 - by Greg Adams

Posttraumatic Growth is Possible “Nothing good comes from cancer. Nothing ever will.” I read those words written by a local newspaper columnist when I was working as a social worker in the world of pediatric cancer. During that time, I would sometimes look out the hallway window in the cancer unit and see the cars going back and forth on the interstate. I would think that somewhere out there are four or five families that have no idea that in the next month they will be here on the unit, their lives turned upside down. Earlier in the day, maybe […]

Riding the Ebb and Flow of Grief

Posted on August 4, 2022 - by Colleen Friesen

The Ebb and Flow of Grief For moments, hours, days, or weeks we can move along with the flow of life – aware, always aware of our loss, but walking the path of life alongside it. When you are in a ‘flow’ cycle, living with grief becomes very similar to walking down a twilight, midsummer sidewalk holding hands with the love of your life. Then something – anything – or nothing — happens, and in a heartbeat, the missing pushes everything else aside and sweeps you completely out of the flow and into a secluded, eddying pool. It’s the ebb […]

Still Breathing: Mother of Stillborn Shares Her Journey

Posted on July 28, 2022 - by Katie Duke

This is an excerpt from Still Breathing : My Journey with Love, Loss, and Reinvention by Katie Joy Duke. I was sitting alone in the quiet nursery reading a book on my Kindle. My eyes were swollen from crying, and my body was sore from giving birth. Eli and I had been home from the hospital for less than a week, and reality was beginning to sink in. Our baby was never coming home. Poppy was dead, stillborn at full term. Nothing would ever be the same. I looked up from my book and stared out the window of our […]

Grief Leads to Self-Discovery

Posted on July 28, 2022 - by Michelle Kaisersatt

Life after a Death. I reflect on that sentence, searching for words to describe what I, as a widow, have felt these last five years. The word “mirror” comes up for me. My partner was my mirror, reflecting back to me who I was, as a human being. When I lost that mirror, I had to navigate that reflection on my own. My partner’s symbiotic understanding of how I felt was no longer present. In the future, would another person be in the equation, learning to know me as my beloved did? Someone who would hold up that mirror with deep […]

How Do I Move Forward When It Hurts So Badly?

Posted on July 28, 2022 - by Peggy Bell

There have been experiences in my life that were difficult to overcome. However, they pale in comparison to the difficulty I experienced when losing my husband. It was as though my heart was ripped from my body. How do I move forward? Early on in my grief, I couldn’t sleep, I had trouble eating and keeping food down, and I couldn’t think clearly. Let’s just lay it there. My life was a mess. Wanting to Stay in Grief I had been married for 30 years, more than half of my life at the time of his death. Besides our jobs, […]