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A Lonely Death in Palm Springs

Posted on February 22, 2019 - by Emily Kil

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. – Bishop Desmond Tutu Palm Springs. Frank Sinatra. Elizabeth Taylor. Liberace. Mickey Rooney. Bob Hope. Rock Hudson. Lauren Bacall. Marilyn Monroe. The name of the city, coupled with the legendary icons of Hollywood’s Golden Era, cements Palm Springs in the minds of people nearly everywhere as one of the most glamorous locations in the United States. Although the city is evolving, Palm Springs remains a tony, upscale community with few rivals in Southern California or the United States. With that all said, as is the […]

Suicide, Betrayal and Coming Home

Posted on February 18, 2019 - by Elaine Voci

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a memory no one can steal.” an epitaph from a headstone in Ireland I stared at the plain paper note that had come in the mail. It was from Jack, my husband, and said simply, “It’s time for me to take off.” Enclosed in the envelope was a deposit slip showing that he had emptied his checking account and transferred the funds to a household account in both our names. Struggling to breathe, I phoned my adult son who lived nearby; he kept reminding me to “Breathe, Mom, breathe.” I […]

After Child-Loss, Joy Can Return

Posted on February 17, 2019 - by Jill Smoot

After the death of our son, I read a verse in the Bible that said, “weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5) I was all too familiar with the first part, as tears wet my pillow night after night. But joy in the morning? No, just a dead feeling of loss. The word “endure” used in older translations was more expressive of its reality. The dictionary defines the word as, “ to bear patiently, to tolerate, exist, last, and to suffer without yielding.” That was all too true for me, especially as just […]

Finding EMDR to help with Grief

Posted on February 15, 2019 - by Catherine McNulty

My favorite quote is from Earl Grollman when he says, “The only cure for grief, is to grieve.” I spent a good two years lost in the throes of loss and grief, not knowing how to overcome my grief after the loss of my son. I felt alone, afraid, and hopeless. I was deep in despair and unsure that anything good be done to get me through it. It wasn’t until I had another son, that things really began to change. The process to get pregnant again and bring him to life was nothing short of harrowing but I somehow […]

Death as Teacher

Posted on February 11, 2019 - by Greg Adams

Death is thought of in many ways. As an (or the) enemy or as a sad and tragic reality. Sometimes as an essential part of the natural cycle of life—“a time to be born and a time to die”—and sometimes as a thief. Grim Reaper, mystery, transition or rebirth. In the Harry Potter books, death is described as the next great adventure and as an old friend. In some situations, death is also thought of like an escape, a relief, or a rest. What about death as a teacher? “If death is the teacher, then it’s not a class […]

Surviving Widowhood: Check Your Track Record

Posted on February 10, 2019 - by Kerry Phillips

There is something about widowhood that brings you to your knees. I remember feeling trapped in an alternative universe trying to make sense of the chaos that surrounded me. The most troubling part was that the one person who was capable of steadying my boat – even as the sea of life raged around me – was the reason for my storm. In March 2012, I got the call no wife ever wants to hear. My husband was dead. We had been married for all of one year and six days. It didn’t seem fair that I’d spent so many […]

Healing Through the Decades After a Child Dies

Posted on February 10, 2019 - by Stacy Parker

I am a bereaved parent. For so long, that title has defined me and the person I am now. My first daughter was born in 1995 and had a rare condition called Alagille Syndrome. She was cognitively okay, but had serious issues with her heart, liver and kidneys. She lived for two years and two months; then she suddenly took a turn for the worse and died. She was my only child at the time. Even after all this time, not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. It’s been 22 years, and I have to say […]

Safety in the Silence

Posted on February 10, 2019 - by Nina Impala

Silence can be a very safe and sacred place when one is grieving. Recently, I spoke with a woman who had a very tragic sudden death in her life. She could barely speak as she tried to explain to me the things that people were saying to her. She was hurt and angry about the comments. These people are not trying to be mean; they just have no idea how you feel or what you are going through. When we see someone suffering, we want to fix it. We want that person happy again, back to their old self, living […]

The Wound Time Won’t Heal

Posted on February 10, 2019 - by Maria Kubitz

Time heals all wounds. We’ve all heard it. Sounds incredibly hopeful for someone who’s drowning in grief. Except when time doesn’t heal your wound. Not enough time. It’s been years since my 4-year-old daughter, Margareta, died. She died exactly 29 days after her fourth birthday. That means we had 1,489 glorious days to spend with her — the only daughter in a family full of boys. One of my grandmothers died at the age of 98. My other grandmother is well into her 90s. Based on those genes, I can probably expect to live until close to a century old. […]

A Daughter, a Mother and an Unexpected Passing: Darkness Followed by a Bright Moment

Posted on February 6, 2019 - by Emily Kil

My wife and I are owners of a company that provides what technically is known as biohazard remediation. We provide cleanup and sanitization services when people are dealing with the aftermath of challenging incidents at their homes. We work with people at some very difficult moments in their lives. Examples of how we help people at grim moments in their lives include: Aftermath of suicide Aftermath of a violent crime Discovery an unattended death A Sunday Morning Phone Call Because of the nature of our business, we are nearly always on call. On a Sunday morning, my family and I […]