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On Your First Father’s Day Without Dad

Posted on June 7, 2018 - by Beth Marshall

This year might be your first Father’s Day since losing your dad. Father’s Day can be tough when a piece of your heart’s puzzle is missing. Here are three tips I hope might help. Say What You Need to Say As the weather starts to sizzle, you may be tempted to turn the AC to full blast and settle in for a little summer hibernation. While time alone is important, it’s easy to slip from healthy alone time to full-on isolation. After losing my mom, and then my dad a few short years later, my comfy safe place definitely became home, […]

Acute Anticipatory Grief: What a Surprise!

Posted on May 24, 2018 - by Harriet Hodgson

Anticipatory grief isn’t new to me. I’ve studied it for years, written articles about it, and co-authored a book about it. That’s why I was surprised when I burst into tears sparked by anticipatory grief. The attack, if it can be called that, happened just before surgery. For three months I experienced odd symptoms. Because I’m my disabled husband’s caregiver, I paid no attention to the symptoms until they couldn’t be ignored. Fortunately, I was able to get an appointment with my doctor and undergo tests. The question: Did I have uterine cancer? The question alone was enough to cause anticipatory […]

Resigned But Not Defeated

Posted on May 22, 2018 - by Jill Smoot

There is a poem written in 1848, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, after the death of his little daughter, Fanny. The poem, “Resignation,” has in one of its stanzas the following: “And though at times impetuous with emotion And anguish long suppressed, The swelling heart heaves moaning like the ocean, That cannot be at rest.” He had recorded in his diary that “ I feel very sad today. I miss very much my dear little Fanny. An inappeasable longing to see her comes over me at times, which I can hardly control.” I find comfort in this poem. […]

For Grieving Moms: When Others Respond in Hurtful Ways

Posted on May 16, 2018 - by Janice Bell Meisenhelder

Fix-It Friends People feel helpless in the face of your loss of a child. They have an intense need to say something to lessen your pain. They cannot understand that this pain refuses any comfort and must be processed over time to ease. They try to help by saying things that negate your pain, such as: “He’s in a better place,” or “You can have another child.” They may also tell you they know how you feel and compare your loss to their loss of a grandparent, which just feels insulting to you. They may tell you that you […]

Grief is Wild

Posted on May 15, 2018 - by Greg Adams

I recently came across an article with the title “Why You Shouldn’t Trust Your Cat.” The idea presented is that domestic cats are actually only partially domesticated. From a genetic perspective, they are more wild than tame. Not everyone has, or wants, a cat, although millions have and do want at least one. But everyone has losses to grieve, and we grievers know that grief is not domesticated. Grief is wild. Grief is a natural and human response to loss, and it is also wild and untamed. It pays no attention to rules and doesn’t follow directions, a map, […]

Feelin’ Groovy: Connecting with Mom’s Legacy on Mother’s Day

Posted on May 11, 2018 - by Beth Marshall

Ever had a song, a fragrance or box of cereal stir you to tears? It’s been 19 years since my mom’s sudden graduation to heaven. So, how could Mother’s Day week and a song be the catalyst for tears in my grilled chicken tenderloin salad? Sounds like a country music song. This week a classic Simon and Garfunkel tune came to mind, and took me right back to my mom’s living room, playing her rustic upright piano. It was “59th Street Bridge Song” better know as “Feelin’ Groovy.” If you were born after 1970, Google it. This whimsical melody will […]

The Child-Loss Club

Posted on May 8, 2018 - by Danny Mayson-Kinder

I am pretty sure that each and every one of you reading this article has heard the saying, “We have all joined a club, and this is a club that no one ever wanted to belong to.” I beg to differ. I just wish I could have joined this club without having lost my beautiful 12-year-old daughter. But I believe this club would have to be the best group of people that I have ever encountered. The love, the reality, the empathy and the knowing that is part of this “grief club” is like no other. What an incredible group of […]

I Care and Wish You Comfort and Hope: A Mass Shooting Triggers Mother’s Response

Posted on May 7, 2018 - by Mary Jane Cronin

Valentine’s Day has forever been changed in my mind. No longer will I think of flowers, chocolates and the little hearts that say “I love you.” This year, a 19-year-old boy opened fire at a High school in Florida on Valentine’s Day, killing 17 teenagers. These recent shootings are unfortunately nothing new; in 1999, in Columbine, Colorado, two seniors killed 12 of their fellow students. One year earlier in 1998, I received a 2 am phone call, a call that no mother wants to receive. My 16-year-old son had been shot by someone he knew. Immediately, I thought to myself: Should I have said no […]

Every Single Breath

Posted on May 7, 2018 - by Tambre Leighn

The 17th anniversary of my husband’s passing was on my mind in the days leading up to it. Some years, it slipped by me without much notice. Other years, the day brought me to my knees and threatened to be the undoing of me. Grief is like that. This year, I saw it coming. Ticking and tocking it’s way ever closer. How do I want to honor my late husband this year? This is the question I often ask myself. But this year, a dear friend had a different question for me. “What’s one cherished moment you’d like to share […]

My Big Widow Regret: Find Your Tribe

Posted on May 7, 2018 - by Kerry Phillips

At 32 years old, instead of planning my first wedding anniversary celebration, I was planning my husband’s funeral. There were no warnings, no time to say a final goodbye. One day he was here and by the following morning, he was gone. It’s been six years since that fateful day when my world collapsed around me. Some days I marvel at the person I have become post-loss and other days I feel saddened by the person I have become as a result of widowhood. As fiercely independent as I now am, I miss the naivety of my old life, where […]