Carol O'Dell

Carol D. O'Dell's gripping memoir MOTHERING MOTHER, (April 1, 2007 by Kunati Publishing) is for the "sandwich" generation and overflows with humor, grace and much needed honesty. Written with wit and sensitivity, Mothering Mother offers insight on how to not only survive but thrive the challenges of caring for others while keeping your life, heart, and dreams intact. Carol is an inspirational speaker and instructor focusing on caregiving, spirituality and adoption issues. She has been featured on numerous television, radio and magazine and podcast programs including WEDU/PBS, Artist First Radio, "Coping with Caregiving" national radio, Women's Digest and Mature Matters Publications. Her fiction and nonfiction work has appeared in numerous publications including Atlanta Magazine, Southern Revival, MARGIN, and AIM, America's Intercultural Magazine Carol appeared on the radio show "Healing the Grieving Heart" with Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley to discuss "Mothering Mother: A Daughter's Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir." To hear Carol being interviewed on this show, click on the following link: www.voiceamericapd.com/health/010157/horsley031308.mp3

Articles:

What is Shock? What to Expect That First Month After a Loved One Dies

Losing a spouse, a parent, a child is devastating. But somehow, you will get through. As crazy, lost, alone, scattered, numb, and frantic as you feel in those first months, know that as hard as it is to believe, it won’t last forever. I know you don’t think you will ever get through this. But there’s this little thing called breathing. Your body does it whether you want it to or not. Your heart can be breaking, your gut wrenched, and you can feel as if you will truly lose your mind–and your body will continue to take its next […]

Caregiver, Are You Too Hard on Yourself?

If there’s one thing we could all use a little more of, it’s mercy. Caregivers are notoriously hard on themselves. I know, I was my own worst judge. Caregiving isn’t easy. It’s relentless, and you can’t get it all “right.” You can’t go on three hours sleep, physically lift another human being from the bed to a potty chair, dress them, feed them, give them their morning meds, load them in a car, drive them to the doctors, fight with the doctors, beg for proper treatment and medicine, head to the pharmacy (for them not to have what you need), […]

A Caregiver’s Challenge: Loving the Unlovable

Caregiver relationships are as complicated as everybody else’s. Caregiving isn’t always sweet and sentimental. What happens if you need to/are asked to care give someone who has hurt you deeply? I met a woman at a book club once and her face revealed her suffering. She shared that her husband had late stage Parkinson’s and she was basically housebound and caring for him 24/7. She looked beyond exhausted. She also shared that she probably should have left him years ago. Sometimes we stay–for the kids–for the security. Because we were too chicken to leave. Now it’s too late. We need […]

Dad Won’t Quit Pacing! What You Need to Know About Agitation and Alzheimer’s

Alzheimer’s usually strikes when someone is older–a time in their life when people typically slow down. Many Alzheimer’s live on the edge–always anxious, overly alert, agitated, and sometimes mean. A common sight in a memory disorder unit, facility, or center (they can be called different names) is to see a person walking and walking. Pacing like a caged cougar. They never sit. They have a wild look in their eye. Only when you see several Alzheimer’s/dementia/Lewy Body (a Parkinson’s form of dementia) all together do you realize that your loved one isn’t the only one who does this–that it must be the […]

21-Year-Old Wonders How to Deal With Pain of Mother-Loss

Sally from California asks: I lost my mother two months back. I’m 21, the elder child and suddenly feel that my world has been turned upside down. I’m studying away from home and have blocked my grief out completely. But on the days it makes an appearance, the pain is unbearable. Will the pain ever reduce? Carol O’Dell, author of Mothering Mother, responds: Yes, the pain will subside, give it time. Lots of time. But also know that the grief you’re experiencing is absolutely normal. You lost your mom. You shouldn’t have lost your mom so soon. Your grief tells […]

We’ve Just Found Out: Mom (or Dad) Has Alzheimer’s–Another Caregiver Begins the Journey

Recently, at a caregiver’s conference I started my talk about my caregiving journey, and that my mom had Alzheimer’s. A woman jumped up out of her seat, let out a cry, and ran out of the room. The director followed her out the door. Later, the director shared that the woman’s mom had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and this was the first event she had attended. This was the first time she was admitting to herself that her mother had Alzheimer’s. Alzheimer’s is a tough diagnosis. Many people hear the word and instantly get an image of their loved one […]

The Benefits of Laughter–A Caregiver’s Greatest Ally

My mom may have had Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s and a heart condition, but she could still say and do the craziest things. It’s okay to laugh. We have to. If we don’t, we’ll just dissolve into a puddle on the floor. Why is laughter so good for you? “The old saying that ‘laughter is the best medicine,’ definitely appears to be true when it comes to protecting your heart,” says Michael Miller, M.D., F.A.C.C., director of the Center for Preventive Cardiology at the University of Maryland Medical Center. “We don’t know yet why laughing protects the heart, but we know that […]

I Feel Like I’m Going Crazy! Mom/Dad Acted Fine at the Doctor’s Office

How can a person who doesn’t remember their own son or daughter, keeps their purse in the freezer and thinks that trees are talking to them act completely normal in front of a stranger? It’s called social convention abilities, or social response abilities, which means your loved one who you know has dementia/Alzheimer’s, can get their act ”together” in front of the doctor or some other person and talk or act fine. It can seem as if you’ve been tricked. Social convention means that all those years we’ve walked past someone and said, “Hello, how are you? I’m fine” are now hard-wired […]

I Think I’m Depressed: A Caregiver’s Deep-Dark Secret

I’m Carol D. O’Dell, and I hope you’ll check out my book, Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir, available on Amazon I Think I’m Depressed– Have you had this thought but couldn’t say it out loud? Caregiver depression doesn’t always look like depression. That means it can go undiagnosed for a very long time. Caregivers can’t (or don’t) stop. They don’t lock themselves in darkened bedrooms for days on end. They don’t necessarily cry or stop eating. They keep on caring for their loved ones. They suffer in silence. So, what does caregiver depression look like? It can be […]

“I Don’t Want to Live With my Adult Children!” Our Parent’s Perspective

If you’re a caregiver/son, daughter, please read this post. You need to put yourself in their shoes. But I don’t want to live with my adult children! Me neither. (And I wrote the book, Mothering Mother–and my mom lived with me the last (almost) three years of her life!) That’s my point–my mother lived on her own–with Parkinson’s and early dementia until she was 89 years old! We’ll all be in this predicament one day–if we live that long–so we need to be empathetic. My kids are grown, responsible, and we all love each other–and I still don’t relish the thought […]

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.