Christine Thiele

Christine Thiele is a free lance writer, middle school teacher, and a former professional and volunteer youth minister. She has written for The Journal of Student Ministries, YouthWorker Journal, Grief Digest, OpentoHope.com, is a contributing author in several Open to Hope books and The Widow's Handbook (to be released in 2014 by Kent State University Press). Along with her writing, Christine is raising her two lovely and energetic sons. Since her husband's death in 2005 from pancreas cancer, her writing has been focused on grief and healing issues.

Articles:

100 Things She Misses About her Husband

Several years ago, after much thought, I decided to create a blog that chronicled my journey through widowhood. It was my hope that by putting my thoughts and words on page one less person would feel alone on their own journey of loss. It was my hope that it would lead to healing…mine… and maybe someone else too. It was the next natural step for my writing. I had written for magazines and other people’s blogs, but I wanted a specific place to share my challenges and successes, my growth and possible regression at times, my sadness and my joy, […]

Young Widow Watches Sons Grow into Men

I am a mom of two boys. I am mom to two boys who do not have their father around anymore as a model. I am a mom who, beyond words, loves being a mom of boys. When my husband died seven years ago, I knew that finding positive, male role models for my young sons would be one of the most relevant things I would do for them. My dad was there immediately for them. He shared a bond with my boys – he too lost his dad at a young age. He knew what it was like to grow up […]

October Brings New Beauty, Triggers Old Grief

October begins again and I can feel my descent into the memories. It started about a week ago when the weather began to change a bit. The cooler breezes starting blowing, the sky is a more brilliant blue and the heat is beginning to subside. For me, all of these changes trigger my grief. It was a beautiful October Wednesday in 2004 when my journey with grief was set into motion. I had been to the ob/gyn and was told that we could induce the birth of second son that Friday. My husband had a nice lunch planned with friends […]

In Widow’s World, Living With Purpose is Hard

I was really good at living with intention before my husband died. I was good about doing things with good reason and being thoughtful, even purposeful, about what I did and how I did it. I had the luxury of more time to think through my decisions and even more important I think, I had someone to share those decisions, reasons, and purpose with. I think for me, it felt more intentional with a witness near. Since widowhood began, I have been through many phases, stages, whatever we might call them. One of the stages I have the most difficulty […]

Widow Struggles to Open Her Heart Again

The sixth anniversary of my husband’s death is right around the corner. I’m wondering tonight about open hearts. Open hearts are soft, ready to be shaped by love. They are ready for moments of joy, ready to let go of pain. I have an open heart. My only problem is that my heart is only open from time to time – it is no longer open regularly. There have been moments throughout the six years that have passed when I have felt ready. I feel ready to open my heart and ponder the possibility of someone else to love. Fleeting […]

What Doesn’t Kill Me…Makes Me Surrender

In the years since my husband died, many times I have heard the phrase: “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.” I’ve been thinking about that lately and am not sure if I agree. There are so many different endings I could add to the phrase that would fit better for me…what doesn’t kill you…only nearly kills you…or what doesn’t kill you…you wish would kill you…or what doesn’t kill you … only brings you to your knees and beats the crap out of you…all of these have fit my life since Dave’s death. There are the positive endings too…what […]

When You’re Feeling Widowy…

I know that widowy isn’t a word, but it is a description of how I feel today. Widowy isn’t quite full-on sadness. Widowy is more like melancholy. My grief, my sadness blows around me like a gentle breeze. It’s a breeze that I notice, but it’s not the hurricane force of grief that can throw me to the ground. Widowy for me is kind of sweet and sad all together. Here in Arizona, the weather is cold, but beautiful these days. In the end of January and early February, the events begin that make us the tourist trap we love […]

Getting Through Loss is an ‘Accomplishment’

The early days of my widowhood were dominated by my loss. Days were sad, and I struggled to reach nightfall every day because I knew I could fall into bed exhausted and relief would come for a few hours. I didn’t have to be anyone to anybody. I just had to get through the night. The holiday seasons are kind of like those early days, months, even years of widowness. I pray to make it through without losing myself again in the depths of my grief. Well, I’m here to tell you, I survived another holiday season. Was this season what […]

‘Steering Toward Happiness’ in a New Year

Every New Year, I try to sit down, evaluate progress and failure, and write a message of hope for myself, my family and others. This year, as far as I’ve come in the five-plus years since my husband’s death, I still feel I have twice as far to go. I’ve moved from barely breathing to surviving. I hope my next step will be to thrive again. In those early days, the fog was thick, tears flowed continuously and my heart was hopeless. Now, my tears are triggered less often, my mind is clear again, and I have a working plan […]

Walking Wounded at the Holidays

I am one of the walking wounded. On most days, you can’t see my scars. During the holidays, as families gather, plan and celebrate, my scar begins to show. It begins to deepen in color and intensity, kind of like Harry Potter’s. On non-holiday days, I can bear my scar and move on. During these holiday times, though, I feel more alone, more broken, more wounded. It feels like such a lonely road, but I know there are many men, women and children walking it alongside me. We have lost love, joy, and sometimes hope through our life experiences of […]

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