Neil Chethik

Neil Chethik is an author, speaker and expert specializing in men's lives and family issues. He is the author of two acclaimed books: VoiceMale: What Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages, Their Wives, Sex, Housework and Commitment (Simon & Schuster 2006), and FatherLoss: How Sons of All Ages Come To Terms With the Deaths of Their Dads (Hyperion 2001). Previously, Neil was a staff reporter for the Tallahassee Democrat and San Jose Mercury News, and writer of VoiceMale, the first syndicated column on men's personal lives. His writings have appeared in hundreds of print and web publications. He is currently Writer-in-Residence at the Carnegie Center for Literacy and Learning in Lexington, Ky., where he lives with his wife, Kelly Flood, and son, Evan. Reach Neil at: Neil@NeilChethik.com 121 Arcadia Park Lexington Ky. 40503 859-361-1659 Neil appeared on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart” with Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley to discuss “Men and Loss.” To hear Neil being interviewed on this show, click on the following link: www.voiceamericapd.com/health/010157/horsley121307.mp3

Articles:

Surviving Holidays With The In-Laws

By Dr. Gloria Horsley – Getting through the holidays after a loss is always a challenge. One of the things that can make it especially difficult is finding the energy to deal with in-law issues. The problems are not new but after a loss your patience may wear thin. Here are some suggestions and thoughts to help you through troubled waters. Also remember Thanksgiving, Christmas and Hanukah are only one day. Anticipation of the event is sometimes far worse than the actual day. Common In-law issues during the holidays Family Loyalty – Pull toward the biological family “My wife feels guilty […]

How Do I Know If I Need Counseling?

Melissa asks this question: Two years ago, I lost a best friend unexpectedly, and I had to bear the news to her two young kids with no one there to help. After that, I ended a 12-year relationship and lost my grandfather. I took all of this in stride. Do you think this is healthy without having sought any counseling? I made changes and moved back home to start over. Dr. Robert Neimeyer, author of Lessons of Loss: A Guide to Coping, responds:Dear Melissa: As you recognize, there are times when talking to a counselor about our reactions to loss makes plenty […]

Understanding Sibling Survivor Guilt

By Bob Baugher – When a sibling dies, the surviving brothers and sisters often feel enormous guilt. Here are five common types of guilt with a brief description of each. 1. Death-Causation Guilt — In this type of guilt, the sibling actually caused the death or perceived that he or she did something to contribute to the death. 2. If-Only Guilt — Here, the person thinks again and again about all the possible factors that could have somehow contributed to the death. When an auto accident is the cause of death, common thoughts may be: “If only I hadn’t driven.” “If only I hadn’t […]

Prescription Drug Addiction Leads to Brother’s Death

By Rod Colvin – I wrapped my birthday gift and left it on the kitchen table. As I headed to work, I pondered where to take my brother Randy for his birthday. The upcoming evening was to be one of celebration. Not only was Randy turning 35, he had just completed his college degree in business. But around noon, I got a telephone call at my office. It was a nurse from a nearby hospital, informing me that my brother had just been brought in by rescue squad. He was in critical condition. Terrified, I jumped in the car and […]

Obama Right to Interrupt Campaign

President-elect Barack Obama’s decision to leave the campaign trail to visit his dying grandmother may have been difficult in the short run: it came less than two weeks before election day. But the decision is almost certain to help him now as he comes to terms with her death. Research from The FatherLoss Survey, which I conducted for my book, FatherLoss, indicates that taking the time to connect with a dying loved one in the last days of his or her life promotes successful grieving. In the survey of 300 men whose fathers had died, only 40 percent said they had […]

Surviving Sister Nurses Her Wounds

By Ruby Rose Fox – I remember the first time I discovered an ACE bandage. I stole it from the medicine cabinet and quickly hid it in my room. I loved the soft fabric, the way it hugged my arm, and secured my muscles and joints. Like a rock climber meticulously nestling into feeble earth, I slowly curled it around my little arm. Oh, what comfort to be wrapped, to be protected. I showed my mother my carefully prepared arm and informed her that I sprained it and took care of it myself. She seemed indifferent, and I was just […]

Father’s Day When Your Father Has Died

By Neil Chethik Father’s Day is just ahead, and for more than 100 million Americans whose fathers have died, it will be a day of missing Dad. Because I’ve written about how sons deal with the death of a father, Gloria and Heidi asked me to write something here about coping with Father’s Day after Dad is gone. For my book, FatherLoss, I interviewed several hundred people about the death of their dads. And some were actually a little relieved on Father’s Day after their dad had died. This was especially true if they had a troubled relationship with their dad. […]

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