Open to Hope Articles
Do you want to read stories of others who have been where you are? Are you looking for bereavement help, and advice? Look no further. We offer over 3,000 articles written by our Open to Hope authors.
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Finding Joy While Grieving: Carrying the Tiger
April 28, 2025
Finding Joy While Grieving Recently, a grief counselor told me something disturbing. He had been describing my new memoir, Carrying the Tiger: Living with Cancer, Dying with Grace, Finding Joy while Grieving, to one of his support groups. When he reached the point where I began to form a new relationship just a few months after the death of my beloved wife, several of the women stopped listening. “Women grieve, men replace,” one said dismissively, and the others nodded in agreement. They assumed that my actions suggested emotional abandonment, or perhaps a kind of infidelity, both of which they found […]
New Love and Memories After the Death of My Wife
April 21, 2025
New Love After the Death of My Wife Monday, September 27, 2021 We consolidated Lynn’s clothes into a closet and a bureau, unearthed her beautiful scarves and handbags, and put them in a couple of baskets in the living room. We went through her family photos, collected her sketchbooks into one pile, and flipped through years of drawings. The whole process was immensely sad. Every day brought dozens of touchstones of our shared life: photos that I examined, perfumes that I sniffed, and handwritten notes that I read until I couldn’t bear to read further. I was sad from morning […]
Picking Up the Pieces after the Death of My Wife
April 21, 2025
Picking Up the Pieces First comes denial. I tell myself that because Lynn and I got to say all those goodbyes, because she knew how much I loved her, because we had no regrets about our choices, my grief should be shallower or shorter than most. In post after post, I emphasize the positives—as when, just two days after she died, I describe riding around Central Park looking forward to my life ahead. But really, I am in shock, as when your body and mind conspire to shield you from the pain of an accident. For more than six years, […]
Watching My Wife Die: Carrying the Tiger
April 21, 2025
Watching My Wife Die “Sometimes you have to say enough is enough.” It is late afternoon. Lynn and I are in the living room, she in her wheelchair, me in a folding chair in front of her. There is one light on, leaving most of the room in shadow. Dr. Hellman speaks calmly, gently. “If you go back to the hospital now, you will probably never come out,” he says. “The radiation may slow it a little, but there’s just too much cancer. We’re not going to beat it, and the treatments will make you even weaker. If there’s ever […]
The Shock of Spouse Loss: Carrying the Tiger
April 21, 2025
The Shock of Spouse Loss Sunday, September 28, 2014 It’s an unseasonably warm Sunday in late September. I am working at my computer while my wife, Lynn, lies on our bed across the hall, sketching our elderly cat, Jack. She’s spent a lot of time like that these past two months, feeling increasingly crummy for some reason the doctors can’t figure out. It began as chronic indigestion, then acid reflux, and recently bouts of diarrhea. She’s stopped enjoying her meals and is losing a lot of weight. Her doctors have given her every kind of scope and scan they can […]
Why the Death of a Child is Unique Among Losses
April 14, 2025
The Death of a Child is Unique When Ruby Cooper was 16 years old, she gave birth to twins, and she told this story as part of The Moth Radio Hour podcast, https://themoth.org/stories/giving-and-receiving. One baby died at birth and the other was a boy later diagnosed with cerebral palsy. In was 1960, and her son’s doctor recommended that Ruby place her son in an institution so that he could be “with his kind.” Ruby responded that she was his mother and thus “his kind,” and she would raise him herself. Overwhelmed with the responsibility of raising a son with special […]
The Lessons of Grief
April 7, 2025
The Lessons of Grief Grief is ugly. It is raw, relentless, and merciless. It does not come gently or leave quietly. Grief stormed into my life like a natural disaster, shattering everything I once knew and leaving me with a version of myself I no longer recognize. It did not ask for permission and knew no boundaries. Grief is powerful and invades my entire body. It gives pain a new definition. Grief makes me cry until I am tearless and gasping to breathe. Until every muscle in my body aches from the sobbing, and I feel hollow. The emptiness it […]
Honoring Sibling Loss
March 24, 2025
Honoring Sibling Loss The discussion centers on the deep pain and continuing impact of losing a sibling. The conversation gathers heartfelt stories, personal reflections, and practical advice from those who have experienced such a loss. The dialogue touches on the challenges of grief, how sibling loss shapes personal identity, and ways to remember those who have passed. The speakers share how these losses have altered the course of their lives and offer inspiration for others dealing with similar emotions. Sharing Personal Journeys Several individuals recount their experiences with sibling loss. Among the speakers is a host who is a doctor, […]
Transform Trauma into Purpose
March 17, 2025
Transform Trauma into Purpose Dr. Melissa Red Hoffman, an acute care surgeon at Mission Hospital in Asheville, North Carolina, shares her powerful story of surviving two traumatic losses and finding meaning in their aftermath. As one of only 90 surgeons board-certified in hospice and palliative medicine, her unique perspective bridges the gap between acute trauma care and end-of-life support. A Life-Altering Loss At age 19, Dr. Hoffman experienced her first devastating loss when her father was murdered in Cairo, Egypt. He was 47 years old, on a business trip working on a pipeline between Egypt and Israel, when he was […]
