Our family received an amazing, unexpected Christmas gift of a very cool new TV. We went about shifting, rebuilding, figuring out cable connections, and placing the new gadget in the place of our old big screen. Somehow amidst the chaos, the daunting task of moving the old machine out to the garage ended up happening [...]
Found 15 results
Widows: Let Love Win Out over Fear
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November 6, 2010
1 Response
Five years ago when my husband died in a cycling accident, the last thing on my mind was finding a new man to love. Horrified by the unexpected jump from wife to widow, I struggled to regain both my sense of self and my will to live. When I first was able to entertain the [...]
In Widowhood, What I Believe
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April 2, 2010
1 Response
Before my husband Phil died, I could have easily created a long list of my personal beliefs. This list would have included ideas about both the tangible and the intangible; broad concepts and specific ideals; God and mortal beings. There would probably even have been a mention of death and eternity…but only in the abstract [...]
The Weight of Wishing
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February 26, 2010
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Every once in awhile, I am able to see myself through another person’s eyes. It’s sort of like looking up and seeing an image in a mirror, and then realizing the face that is reflected there is your own. The observations from these unguarded moments usually provide some serious food for thought. Recently I went to [...]
Cleaning the ‘Emotional Closet’ After a Loss
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September 9, 2009
1 Response
We put all kinds of things inside of closets. There are things you expect to find inside this storage space: sweaters, dresses, and shoes. Then there are the other things that you can’t find a place for somewhere else in the house: old yearbooks, memory boxes, or last year’s tax returns. Perhaps there are mothballs, [...]
A Meditation for Those Facing the First Anniversary of a Loss
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September 6, 2009
1 Response
As you approach the first anniversary of losing the amazing person that shared your life, I have a vision I would like to share with you. I am imagining you wearing a heavily laden backpack. This pack is filled with the searing pain of separation, the desperate fear of the unknown, the intense longing for [...]
First Anniversary…
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August 1, 2009
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As you approach the first anniversary of losing the amazing person that shared your life, your love, your joys, and your sorrows; I have a vision I would liketo share with you…I am imagining you wearing a heavily laden backpack. This pack is filled with the searing pain of separation, the desperate fear of the [...]
Lifting the Veil: Gloom Ends at a Wedding
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July 5, 2009
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By Michele Neff Hernandez – The death of someone instrumental in our lives instantly changes our view of the world. Ordinary things are suddenly fraught with meaning, and insignificant moments become unexpectedly precious. After my husband Phil’s death I remember thinking that grief swooped in and stole my rose-colored glasses, leaving me with a pair [...]
How Should You Help a Grieving Widow?
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June 10, 2009
2 Responses
By Michele Neff Hernandez – Grief is a thief; it steals the breath of life and leaves devastation in its wake. What happens when grief robs a woman of not only her husband, but also her ability to cope with the world around her? How do friends and family members know when that widow is [...]
Mother’s Power Limited in the Face of Death
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May 27, 2009
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By Michele Neff Hernandez – Motherhood brings out the lioness in me. No task is too small or sacrifice too great to ensure the well being of my three children. In my mind’s eye, I can see myself jumping in front of an on-coming train to save their lives; feeding them first from my last [...]
Young Widow Overcomes Her Death Wish
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March 27, 2009
1 Response
By Michele Neff Hernandez – It is an odd and frightening sensation to wish you were dead. After my husband died, I fervently wished I could die, too. The first time I read that grieving people sometimes fantasize about death, I was relieved. My entire life I had appreciated the gift of life; to suddenly [...]
Wearing Husband’s Clothes Keeps His Memory Close
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March 15, 2009
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By Michele Neff Hernandez For the first few weeks after Phil’s death, anything that had touched his body was sacred. His shoes were sitting where he last left them, his lunchbox remained on top of the refrigerator, and his toothbrush was standing next to mine in the holder. One day, I found an eyelash of [...]
Husband’s Soul Lives on in His Shoes
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February 21, 2009
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by Michele Neff Hernandez – My husband had a shoe fetish. Phillip owned shoes for all occasions and athletic events-some were kept only for their sentimental value. To him, each pair either served a purpose or told a story, so there was no getting rid of them. This caused a serious storage issue. In addition [...]
Affectionately Remembering a Valentine’s Day ‘Scrooge’
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February 6, 2009
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By Michele Neff Hernandez – My husband used to call Valentine’s Day “So What Day.’” Romantic, huh? He thought that greeting cards were a waste of trees, that buying flowers because someone told you to defeated the purpose, and that going to dinner on the big day just to eat from a limited menu and [...]
From Sad to Silly: Christmas Memories Salve Widow’s Pain
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November 20, 2008
1 Response
By Michele Neff Hernandez – There is a song on the radio at this time of year, sung by the Carpenters, called “Merry Christmas, Darling.” The first Christmas after my husband Phil died, hearing this song sent me into fits of tears. Not the sweet, sad, nostalgic type of tears-these were the hitting my hands [...]
