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The Alzheimer’s Experience, Part II: ‘He Was Such a Strong, Proud Man’

Posted on September 5, 2017 - by Charles Patterson

“Henry hasn’t been that bad,” Mrs Van Winkle reported to Dr Miller. “The only big problem is he wakes up at night and thinks it’s morning. Then he wakes me up to fix breakfast, and I can’t get back to sleep. I can’t understand why he thinks it’s morning when it’s still dark.” “I’ll prescribe a sleeping pill for him and see you both in a week to see how it works.” Next visit she came in alone, in tears. “The sleeping pill worked fine,” she sobbed, “but now he wets the bed.” “That only means the pill’s too strong. […]

Grieving May Be Lonely (But it Doesn’t Have to Be)

Posted on September 2, 2017 - by Carolyn Coarsey

Thirty years ago, while completing my doctoral work in preparation for the career I have today, I was reminded of the difference that one good friend can make to anyone who is grieving. I was in my hometown visiting my oldest sister when a couple dropped in to visit her and my brother-in-law. I was introduced to them both before my brother-in-law and the male member of the couple went outside to tinker with a car engine problem in the garage. I was somewhat caught off guard when my sister’s friend I’ll call Judy said to me, “Your sister has […]

Let’s Talk About ‘Closure’

Posted on August 29, 2017 - by Greg Adams

Let’s talk about “closure,” that thing we search for but never fully find after someone dies. We really hope to find it, and the need for it is deeply felt. We go to the funeral and put up the grave marker to find it. We clean out the room, give away some of the clothes, perhaps even take off the ring for a while. Reporters ask grieving people about whether or not they’ve found it, and if not, what needs to be done to allow it to be found. How did we learn that “closure” was the goal? It seems […]

Coping With the Next Loss Differently: Interview with Dr. William Buckley

Posted on August 28, 2017 - by Gloria Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Dr. William (Bill) Buckley about how people can cope with a loss in a different manner if they do not feel like they coped well with a previous loss. Many families have already gone through a loss, and with that loss they carry a range of bad feelings about the experience they went through. In anticipation of future losses, Bill explains that families want to know how they can do better. Hear his advice in the video below. Here are some key takeaways from the video: Many […]

After Loss: Do We Ever Return to ‘Normal’?

Posted on August 28, 2017 - by Mike Russell

Often during the grief journey, I wondered if a normal life could be obtained again. Of course, there is a big assumption here that I had a normal life to begin with. So, considering that we all come from skewed visions of what normal is, my definition was being married, having kids, working at one job my whole life and rocking in the chair on the porch next to the one that I married when I was 21. Okay, it does seem a little Beaver Cleaver. But really, normal is something that we all come at from different […]

Dealing with Painful Memories of a Loved One

Posted on August 19, 2017 - by Harriet Hodgson

Losing a loved one was awful enough. But when you least expect it, you may recall painful memories — an odd experience, an argument, hurtful words best forgotten. You wish the painful memories would go away and leave you alone. Still, they they keep reappearing, and nagging at you. I have some understanding of your feelings. My elder daughter made some poor decisions in her teens, decisions that hurt her and the family. Thankfully, she found the courage to earn an engineering degree, an MBA, industry certifications, and had a promising job. Then my daughter died. Proud as I am […]

Christina Vasquez: Art Therapy

Posted on August 17, 2017 - by Connie Vasquez

Board certified art therapist Christina Vasquez spoke with the executive director of Open to Hope, Dr. Gloria Horsley, during the 2015 annual Association of Death Education and Counseling Conference about the role art can play in the grieving process. She works in New Orleans in a psychiatric hospital as well as in a private practice. One of the first things clinicians can do to help patients in the grief process is to provide a safe place, explains Vasquez. “My approach to art therapy is meeting them (the patients) where they’re at,” she says. Entering into the process with compassion sets […]

Tina Barrett: Montana Grief Center Offers Outdoor Support for Kids and Teens

Posted on August 16, 2017 - by Heidi Horsley

A counselor at the Tamarack Grief Resource Center, Dr. Tina Barrett attended the 2015TANA Association of Death Education and Counseling conference where she spoke with the Executive Director of Open to Hope, Dr. Heidi Horsley. Barret’s goal is to “stabilize kids, adults and communities following loss” in the Missoula, Montana area. Offering both support programs and education programs, these programs are earmarked for kids and teens as well as schools that may need help handling grieving students after a loss. “We specialize in grief camps and retreats,” she shares, but even the non-camp groups and programs try to get attendees […]

Galen Goben: Faith and Healing After a Death

Posted on August 15, 2017 - by Heidi Horsley

The Grief Support Coordinator for Forest Lawn, Galen Goben, spoke with Dr. Heidi Horsley of the Open to Hope Foundation during the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference about having faith after a death. Forest Lawn is an organization in California that helps people plan ahead for death, including full funeral, crematorium and cemetery services. He’s also an ordained minister of the Christian Church of the Disciples of Christ and says that one of the best ways to heal after a loss is learning how to “live with the pain.” However, you also have to learn that there […]

Quitter? Returning to College After a Family Death

Posted on August 15, 2017 - by Gloria Horsley

Whether it’s the loss of a parent, sibling or friend grief can be all consuming and lead to a deep depression that makes it difficult to deal with life’s normal routine. Dealing with the death of a loved one can be particularly difficult for college students, especially if they are away from home. They often have trouble dealing with their loss because of the overwhelming energy grief requires on top of the demands of attending classes, focusing on homework and participating in the social life that college offers. A study published by Purdue University found that approximately 40% of college students […]