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What Makes Sudden Death So Different?

Posted on May 22, 2017 - by Michelle Jarvie

It’s not just that we “didn’t get to say goodbye.” That common phrase, often associated with sudden death, is far too simplistic when unpacking the reality of completely unexpected deaths: accidents, homicides, suicides, sudden natural causes (e.g. heart attack, brain hemorrhage) and serious illnesses where death is unforeseen (e.g. epilepsy). SHOCK The scientific community explains that if our bodies did not go into shock as we face our new reality, the tragedy would overwhelm our system to such an extent that we would die. In this way, the shock reaction – numbness, fog, autopilot – protects us. However, it can […]

So Much More than 5 Stages of Grief

Posted on May 21, 2017 - by Megan Aronson

Please, right this very moment, if you are reading this trying to figure out where the catastrophe of your grief fits in a little box, STOP. The truth is, there are no five stages. Or ten, or twenty, or ninety-five. There is no one way to grieve, only your way. There may be characteristic emotional experiences such as anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance, but there is far more to the experience of grief than just those five pieces. Could you categorize a wave in five stages? Maybe. Rise, break, crash, fall, recede. Sounds a lot like the experience of […]

Webinar: Survival Tips for Mother’s Day

Posted on May 8, 2017 - by Darcie Sims

There are many holidays which can be particularly tough for the bereaved, and Mother’s Day is a big one. Can you celebrate Mother’s Day if your child is no longer living? Of course you can, but you may benefit from some modifications. The Open to Hope show welcomes Dr. Darcie Sims, an internationally renowned speaker specializing in grief management. She’s the founder and president of Grief, Inc., a licensed psychotherapist, and the author of several books. “Am I still a mother?” is a question many bereaved mothers ask themselves, and according to Dr. Sims the resounding answer is, “Yes!” However, […]

An Absent Connection: Eight Years After a Child-Loss

Posted on May 4, 2017 - by Bart Sumner

This October it will be 8 years since my 10-year-old son David was tripped up during a football practice, and suffered an acute subdural hematoma which took him forever from our lives. He is always in my thoughts. Every day his smile and love runs through my day. Every benchmark of growing up his little sister Abby, now 15, takes reminds me he is not here. I don’t cry about it most days, I have long since come to terms with the incredible sadness and integrated it into who I am now, but he is always right there, peeking through, […]

The Switch Stays On: Attachment After a Loss

Posted on May 3, 2017 - by Greg Adams

How we start out in life has consequences for the rest of our lives. The connections we make, or don’t make, to whoever parents us, sets the stage for all our future relationships. The more our parents are dependable, nurturing and sensitive to our needs, the more we are set up to be part of dependable, nurturing and sensitive relationships throughout life. If our parenting is erratic, lacking in nurture, or insensitive to our needs, our future relationships can be filled with anxiety, expecting or fearing to be let down again, or we may avoid closeness in relationships as we […]

Video: Supporting Cops and their Families in Grief

Posted on May 1, 2017 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley talk to the Dennis Jones, the Executive Director of Concerns of Police Survivors (COPS) in the 44th episode of The Open to Hope Foundation show. They also discuss this issue with Anthony (Babe) Muro, who’s an avid supporter of the police community. COPS is committed to helping families and individuals of loved ones who have fallen in the line of duty. Gloria’s father was a policeman and a military member, so she has always had a soft spot for police departments. Jones is a former police officer of the NYPD for 25 years, and after […]

Getting Back to Life When Grief Won’t Heal

Posted on April 26, 2017 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley talks with Dr. Phyllis Kosminsky, the author of Getting Back to Life When Grief Won’t Heal. Dr. Kosminsky says, “I wrote it because people were coming in and asking me if they were grieving in the right way.”. There are many stages of grief, and that’s talked about in depth, but it can be confusing. People in grief will look at stages and see them as consecutive, but that’s not the case. This can be particularly frustrating in the second year when you think you “should” be progressing, but suddenly find yourself back in an early stage. […]

Webinar: How Do I Know If It’s Grief or Depression?

Posted on April 23, 2017 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

This webinar features Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley talking about grief vs. depression with Dr. Howard Winokuer. As the co-founder of TO LIFE, a non-profit that offers education and counseling to those struggling with loss, he knows all too well that there are blurred lines. Dr. Winokuer has helped thousands of people along their grief journey, offering seminars and workshops around the country (and in nine international locations). A popular author and speaker, he notes that sometimes grief and depression can cross lines. However, there are some big differences. For starters, grief is the interpersonal experience of handling a loss […]

Webinar: What a Father Learned From the Death of his Son

Posted on April 21, 2017 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley interviews Pastor Dennis Apple about “Where is God?” after a loss—and in many cases, especially on holidays like Easter. Apple lost his son, Denny, when Denny was only 18 years old. He died of a sudden illness in 1991. Today, Apple counsels others who are grieving the loss of a loved one. He’s also a pastor at College Church of Nazarene in Olathe, Kansas. Along with his wife, Buelah, Apple is consistently working towards addressing his own grief in a healthy manner. He wrote Life After the Death of My Son: What I’m Learning as a tool […]

Is There Such a Thing as Closure After a Loss?

Posted on April 19, 2017 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley with the Open to Hope Foundation discuss continuing bonds and closure after loss. At 17 years old, Heidi’s brother Scott was killed in a car accident. Everyone told her and her mother that they would “get over it” eventually and find closure. Know that closure isn’t for love accounts—it’s for bank accounts. You can and should get over the suffering, but getting over the loss can feel like erasing someone from your life. Instead, you can transform your grief into actions that can positively change the world. The mother-daughter team created the Open to Hope […]