Open to Hope Articles

Articles Home

No One Should Grieve Alone

Posted on December 14, 2016 - by Mary Joye

You’re here for self-help. But the best help is in person. Some of you have come here in abject grief, thinking life is unfair. It is unfair, as we all know, but when it is not fair to you, you need someone to help you understand what to do about it. What do you do with all this pain? Share it with a professional. In doing so, you are releasing some of the burden to another who can give you hope and perspective. Albert Einstein once said you cannot solve a problem with the same consciousness that created it. I hung […]

Teaching Children about Loss

Posted on December 14, 2016 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

David Meagher is a professor emeritus at The City University of New York. He spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley of the Open to Hope Foundation about the unique ways children handle loss, and the hurdles they face. He wrote Zach and His Dog, a tool to help adults talk with children about loss. “When is it appropriate to teach a child how to swim—when the child is drowning?” he asks. Children have been learning about death almost since birth, but not in obvious ways. Take a look at many children’s nursery rhymes for example. Still, every child is different and […]

Family Traditions, Memories, Help Us Reach the New Year

Posted on December 13, 2016 - by Bart Sumner

I didn’t have a whole lot of experience with grief before my son, David, died 7 years ago. Since then my grief journey has taught me about myself, my family, and that grief is an individual journey we all have to travel at some point in our lives. Of course, the holidays, a time of joy and happiness for so many, can be extremely difficult for those who are grieving, often for many, many years. This year my father died, so I now face my first Christmas without my son or my father, and my father’s death has reverberated deeply, […]

Holiday Grief: Personal and Professional Lessons

Posted on December 10, 2016 - by Marguerite OConnor

Who wants more stress? Not me, thanks very much. I enjoy the holidays: giving & receiving, getting together with those I love & cherish, embracing meaningful rituals, appreciating holiday decorations, sharing special meals, reflecting on my gratitude & blessings, & acknowledging my ancestors & their contributions. I am mindful to meet some of my needs so that I can enjoy the holidays & keep my stress in check. I have a dear family member who lives a 3-hour airplane ride away. I also have a close family member who gets very sad & depressed around the holidays. I live in […]

David Meagher: Children and Pet Loss

Posted on December 7, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

How can you help children address pet loss? David Meagher, a professor emeritus at The City University of New York, explains that pets genuinely become part of a family. The grief many feel for their pets is on par with grief they may feel for a close family member. Dr. Gloria Horsley of the Open to Hope Foundation discusses with Meagher how adults can help children address their grief and heal from it. This can be especially challenging when everyone in the family is experiencing acute grief from this traumatic loss. Many times, for a child, losing a pet is […]

December is the Longest Month of Grief

Posted on December 6, 2016 - by Basia Mosinski

December is the most difficult time of year for those of us who have children who are physically no longer with us. For me it begins in late September, with the anniversary of the day my son Richard died. Followed by Halloween. Richard loved Halloween…he took a lot of pleasure in introducing his youngest daughter to scary spiders and goblins in one of the most decorated communities where we live. It’s a community that used to provide such family fun and pleasure for us but which has now become a painful reminder that holidays will never be the same. After Halloween, […]

The Holidays: Helping Seniors Grieve a Lifetime of Marriage

Posted on December 5, 2016 - by Nina Impala

How can I face the holidays without my true love, my one and only love? A gentleman I recently visited is facing his first Christmas without his beloved. Enter gently and you may be able to bring peace to a broken heart. The caregiver warns me that he is very grumpy. Please don’t take it personally, and please don’t tell him you’re from hospice. I’m used to this. I have learned to kneel to approach a spouse who is grieving, angry, and sad. If I can’t kneel, I grab a chair and pull it up close (board-and-care facilities are short on cozy […]

What Do the First Five Years Look Like?

Posted on November 29, 2016 - by Laura Diehl

Exactly five years ago today, our daughter, Becca, left this earth. I have been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting, trying to put so many abstract thoughts and feelings into something concrete, like words on a page. How is my life different now, besides the obvious? What is good, what is bad, and what is still just plain ugly? What have I learned that might help those who are on this path behind me? So here are five things I have discovered over the last five years. There are no rules or timelines for grief! My husband, Dave, and […]

Valarie Molaison: Communicating with Children after a Suicide

Posted on November 28, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

How can you talk to children following a suicide? That’s the question Dr. Heidi Horsley tackles with Dr. Valarie Molaison, the clinical director at Supporting Kids, a non-profit based in Delaware. She’s also a licensed psychologist and a specialist in grief and loss. Suicide is a stigmatized loss already. Should children be told the truth about suicide death? It’s something every family can decide for themselves, but know that experts can’t be the ones to tell you yes or no in this case. However, telling the truth is beneficial in most cases. The risks and benefits need to even out. […]

At Thanksgiving, Say Their Names

Posted on November 25, 2016 - by Tom Zuba

This article was first published on Open to Hope in 2010. Thursday will be the 21st Thanksgiving I’ve lived through following the death of my 18-month-old daughter Erin in 1990. The 12th since my wife Trici died in 1999 and the 6th since my 13-year-old son Rory died in 2005. One thing I know for sure is that I can’t expect anyone to mention the name(s) of the people I love who have died. Expecting someone to say their names only brings me disappointment and pain because there is a good chance that the day will pass with no one […]