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‘Do You Cook for Yourself?’: How to Remember a Loving Husband

Posted on January 7, 2017 - by Vivian Clecak

“Do you cook for yourself?” a new acquaintance asks me. I smile to myself. She has no idea. She has opened the door wide. I begin: “No, I do not cook. My husband did everything with joy and skill for the entire time of our marriage.” I have one subject that fills my soul: the loss of my husband two-plus years ago. But I have to be careful to make sure I catch the opening. If the listener zones out or judges me as bragging or fabricating, I cannot begin the story. The telling requires a soft landing, a space […]

Healing Through Creativity

Posted on January 7, 2017 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley interview Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma, in episode 47 of The Open to Hope Foundation series. Additionally, they speak with Sharon Strouse, a bereaved parent who’s the author of Artful Grief: A Diary of Healing and a board certified art therapist. People can get stuck in grief, says Dr. van der Kolk, and not because people want to get stuck. Things can get in the way, people feel helpless, secrets can get involved and unresolved issues can bog down the […]

One Mother’s Grief: Embracing ‘Fierce Growth’

Posted on January 6, 2017 - by Cindy Weaver

A lightning bolt ripped through me and froze my being as I listened to the piercing words of my friend. “Your daughter has been in a bike accident. She died.” I felt everything and I felt nothing. The grieving started with a pattern of feeling split wide open, raw, bleeding; then followed moments of nothing and yet constant pressure and pain. I fell to pieces, shattered. I became despondent and detached, staring at ceilings, walls, and floors. I lost my appetite, and wanted to disappear. Her 20 years were not enough. I began to increase my times of meditation and […]

My Second Chapter: Life, Marriage, Family

Posted on January 4, 2017 - by Michelle Jarvie

Many people ask me, What’s it really like being re-married? My widow(er) friends want to know if I’m as happy as I was in my first marriage, if I compare my two husbands, why I’d risk being a widow again, and most importantly, if my new husband is understanding. Can you talk about James with him? Is he jealous? My other, non-widow, friends want to know if I’m happy and if I ever think about James anymore (that is, the friends who aren’t uncomfortable acknowledging his death). If we throw my writing into the conversation: Do you think your articles about James […]

Do Our Loved Ones In Heaven Celebrate With Us? Yes!

Posted on December 31, 2016 - by Christine Duminiak

For those of us who are grieving, holidays and special occasions can be bittersweet and very painful, as we wish our loved ones were right here beside us celebrating too. However, from my spiritual work and own personal experiences, as well as thousands of others I have ministered to since 1998, I have come to learn that our loved ones in Heaven are like angels on our shoulders now. They would never miss an important occasion in our lives, because our special occasions are important to them too! Loved ones will often let us know that they are right there […]

Turning Grief into Good

Posted on December 15, 2016 - by Joan Zlotnick

Four years into widowhood, I’m astounded at how entrenched I’ve become in the grief community. I would have guessed that when my husband died, after twelve years of struggling with dementia, that I would have done everything possible to leave the grief community, having been in it for so long. Caring for a loved one with dementia generates an unusually long and complicated kind of grief. Each new stage of the illness brings with it fresh grief: when you see the first signs, get the diagnosis, lose a little bit more of the person you love each day. Widowhood came to […]

No One Should Grieve Alone

Posted on December 14, 2016 - by Mary Joye

You’re here for self-help. But the best help is in person. Some of you have come here in abject grief, thinking life is unfair. It is unfair, as we all know, but when it is not fair to you, you need someone to help you understand what to do about it. What do you do with all this pain? Share it with a professional. In doing so, you are releasing some of the burden to another who can give you hope and perspective. Albert Einstein once said you cannot solve a problem with the same consciousness that created it. I hung […]

Teaching Children about Loss

Posted on December 14, 2016 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

David Meagher is a professor emeritus at The City University of New York. He spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley of the Open to Hope Foundation about the unique ways children handle loss, and the hurdles they face. He wrote Zach and His Dog, a tool to help adults talk with children about loss. “When is it appropriate to teach a child how to swim—when the child is drowning?” he asks. Children have been learning about death almost since birth, but not in obvious ways. Take a look at many children’s nursery rhymes for example. Still, every child is different and […]

Family Traditions, Memories, Help Us Reach the New Year

Posted on December 13, 2016 - by Bart Sumner

I didn’t have a whole lot of experience with grief before my son, David, died 7 years ago. Since then my grief journey has taught me about myself, my family, and that grief is an individual journey we all have to travel at some point in our lives. Of course, the holidays, a time of joy and happiness for so many, can be extremely difficult for those who are grieving, often for many, many years. This year my father died, so I now face my first Christmas without my son or my father, and my father’s death has reverberated deeply, […]

Holiday Grief: Personal and Professional Lessons

Posted on December 10, 2016 - by Marguerite OConnor

Who wants more stress? Not me, thanks very much. I enjoy the holidays: giving & receiving, getting together with those I love & cherish, embracing meaningful rituals, appreciating holiday decorations, sharing special meals, reflecting on my gratitude & blessings, & acknowledging my ancestors & their contributions. I am mindful to meet some of my needs so that I can enjoy the holidays & keep my stress in check. I have a dear family member who lives a 3-hour airplane ride away. I also have a close family member who gets very sad & depressed around the holidays. I live in […]